*Our screen is black…suddenly, an image appears, it reads “BOTB IV Pre-Show”*

*It slowly fades out…we then hear the faint noise of fans cheering, it grows louder and louder and louder until it is deafening…we fade into an outdoor party…it’s a wild one. There are GCWA fans everywhere, walking around with beers in their hand…there are several games for them to play…a basketball goal game, the game where you swing a sledgehammer and try to make the bell ring, a dunk tank, featuring Martin Ka’Berryon and a certain booth that has been shut down. We look away from all the games and turn our attention to a stage…on the stage we spot GCWA superstars Warrick Hill and The Big Bifford…they are both holding mics in their hands…we zoom in and Bifford speaks*

Bifford: I can’t believe President Ace is allowing this to air!!

Warrick Hill: No Shit, when we pitched the idea of a Blood on the Battlefield Pre-Show, I thought for sure we were going to get shot down…but, here we are!

Bifford: I have the best ideas.

Warrick Hill: This is going to be so badass, look what I found on the ground walking over here!

Bifford: THE Tommy Flamer is here?

Warrick Hill: Yes, he will be performing in a short while on this stage…I’d guesstimate that the fans interest ranges from non-existent to tame

Bifford: He doesn’t even have to show up, that poster is more awesome than he could ever be.

Warrick Hill: Never count Flamer out…by the way, fans, we must apologize, the ‘Guess My Weight’ game has been shut down and, well, I’m not gonna name any names, but a certain someone tried to participate and he shattered the scale.

Bifford: Ace really needs to spring for a nicer scale next time…that scale was crap.

*A bikini top flies into our picture and hits Bifford in the face. He picks it up and licks his lips…Warrick stops him*

Warrick Hill: Hate to be the prude here, Biff…but let’s wait until we’re off camera.

Bifford: I’ll fondle her bra while I’m interviewing The Lost Soul, should make for a great interview!

Warrick Hill: Ah, yea, that’s right…the lineup for this pre-show…folks, we’ve got three interviews set up…along with some fan interviews, a special match at the end of the night and, a secret celebrity appearance that Biff is about to announce….

*Biff straightens himself up and puts on a serious face, taking this surprise announcement very seriously*

Bifford: I have booked a celebrity so in demand, so popular, so extravagant that I had to make the booking a year in advance. Now, how did I know we’d have a Blood on the Battlefield Pre-Show a year in advance? That’s a good question.

*Warrick looks at Bifford for a moment, Bifford avoids the answer*

Bifford: Anyways, tonight, we will be receiving Blood on the Battlefield predictions from none other than…BEA ARTHUR!!!

*The crowd, aside from a few super drunk fans who will cheer anything, grows silent. Biff, with his arms in the air, notices he’s not getting the reaction he was anticipating…Warrick taps him on the shoulder and whispers something into his ear. Upon hearing it, Biff’s face drops…he speaks*

Bifford: Well, that would certainly explain why she hasn’t been returning my calls, emails, texts and flowers…

Warrick Hill: You seriously booked her a year ago?

Bifford: To the date, my friend

Warrick Hill: Wow, she checked out like eleven days later…weird.

Bifford: Martha…

Warrick Hill: What?

Bifford: Nothing.

Warrick Hill: Well, since Bea is out of the lineup…who’s left to interview?

Bifford: Well, I’ll be interviewing my best friend, Dangerous Dan, along with The Lost Soul…we have great chemistry you know.

Warrick Hill: You and TLWho?

Bifford: Yes, and don’t call him that…we have great chemistry.

Warrick Hill: You said that.

Bifford: I am the proton to his electron.

Warrick Hill: Sounds like a love story just waiting to be written. I, on the other hand, will be interviewing the 2009 Wrestler of the Year, Lurrr!!

*The crowd cheers wildly*

Bifford: This show is going to offend so many people.

Warrick Hill: Good thing it’s an extra on the DVD and won’t see any of your local cable channels!

Bifford: Oh, really? In that case…

*Biff lifts the bra to his face…we cut away to the Blood on the Battlefield IV logo*

*The screen flashes over to another section of the festival where, at a picnic table, The Big Bifford is sitting down with a cardboard cut-out of Dangerous Dan. Bifford looks across the parking lot at the cardboard figure and gives it a dirty look.*

Bifford: Well, here I am with my mortal enemy Dangerous Dan. Dan, you’ve been through a lot so far in 2010.. I mean, you came so close to making it to the finals of the Warrior of the Ring Competition and then you came soooo close..hehe.. to beating me for the Warrior of the Ring Championship at Darkness Falls. How do you feel your odds are of becoming X-Division Champion?

Bifford (doing a Dangerous Dan-impression): Well, Bifford, I think I’ll come so close.

Bifford: Excellent. Well, Dan, you’re fighting your brother or cousin or something in this match. How does it feel to be pitted against your own flesh and blood?

Bifford (doing a Dangerous Dan-impression): Well, Bifford, I don’t feel good about it. I don’t like it. It’d be like you fighting Arachne.. I’d like to be a champion again, but I don’t think I have it in me to beat my tag team partner..

Bifford: Well, that sucks. I’ve beaten Arachne twice because I know what it takes to make it to the top. Maybe one day you will too. Lastly, what are your thoughts on me?

Bifford (doing a Dangerous Dan-impression): Well, Bifford, you are amazing. I feel your awesome presence filling the world with excellence. You frighten me because I know I cannot beat you. I also am positive that you will be World Champion after tonight.

Bifford: Do you have any advice for me in my match? I mean, I know you’ve fought the Draco before.

Bifford (doing a Dangerous Dan-impression): Well, Bifford, you are amazing and you don’t need my advice. Just be natural, because you are the most naturally gifted superstar in GCWA and perhaps the entire world. I would give my first-born children to you as a sacrifice just to be able to lace the boots on your shoes.

Bifford: Well, that might be going a bit far, Dangerous Dan.

Bifford (doing a Dangerous Dan-impression): Never! I can never go far enough to sing your praises, Bifford! May your reign as World Champion be long and prosperous!

Bifford: Thank you, Dangerous Dan. But, the fact remains that we’re enemies. So we shall fight now.

*Bifford stands up and looks across the picnic table at the cardboard cutout of his mortal enemy. He launches his huge body over the table and tackles the cardboard figure and begins punching it as the scene changes to Warrick Hill who has been watching the interview on a monitor.*

Warrick Hill: What the hell was that? Not sure? Join the party…while we get some more things sorted out, let’s take a look back at Blood on the Battlefield II!

*We fade to the Blood on the Battlefield II logo*

*We fade back in where we see Warrick Hill standing alone*

Warrick Hill: Welcome back, everybody…Bifford ran off to score some tickets for the Flamehead concert…so, while he’s gone, I’m thinking it’s a good time to air an interview I conducted a couple days ago. I met up with reigning GCWA Wrestler of the Year, Lurrr, at an optimal interview location where I sat down with him and discussed, amongst other things, his match with Triple M at Blood on the Battlefield. Roll the footage, daddy-o!

*The camera takes a bit longer than anticipated to cut away, we get a glimpse of Warrick grabbing a pipe from off camera and beginning to puff on it…we cut away. We fade into a local bar. Lurrr is seated at a table a few feet from the bar with a pitcher containing a dark beer. There are two glasses, one in front of Lurrr, another in front of Warrick. Lurrr starts to pour a glass for Warrick and then one for himself*

Warrick Hill: Well, thanks for agreeing to meet up with me, Lurrr…I had planned on a surprise interview…but that fell through…I’d say you’re a suitable replacement.

Lurrr: I take offense to the fact I wasn’t your number one choice, Warrick. Not to mention, before I retired, we were at each other’s throats in a heated feud…however, nobody likes to drink alone…by the way, you’re buying.

Warrick Hill: Shit, no problem there, I’ll just use the company card Ace gave us when we informed him we were putting together a pre-show. Drinks are on me!!

Lurrr: Ahhh still finding ways to screw the boss!!

*A bunch of old, bearded patrons rush to the bar and order everything from bottles of beer to exotic, multi layered shots…one guy orders a Sea Breeze, he gets a bunch of weird looks*

Lurrr: What a pussy, his drink is NOT on us.

Warrick Hill: Yea, bartender, make that bitch pay for his own drink!!

*The man has already guzzled down half of his drink when the bartender asks for him to pay up. He holds his arms up, signifying he is broke. The bartender looks at Warrick and Lurrr…they both sigh and stand up. They walk towards the man, Lurrr drills him with The Wake Up Call!!! The man falls over…Warrick picks him back up and hurls him, head first, through the front door, the man goes flying out of the bar. Warrick and Lurrr wipe their hands clean and head back to their table*

Bartender: Umm, there’s still half a drink left here…you guys can have it, seeing as you assisted me in taking out the trash.

Warrick Hill: What? And get herpes all over my freakin mouth a week before the biggest Pay Per View of the year…an event so big groupies will be lined up, just waiting to have a train ran on them? No thanks, bartender man…

Lurrr: Yea, what he said

*The bartender shakes his head and tosses the rest of the drink away, along with the glass*

Warrick Hill: Good move, that glass would never again reach sanitary levels.

*Lurrr pours himself another glass, Warrick, feeling like he’s being left behind chugs the rest of his and Lurrr pours him another. They signal for the bartender to bring them another pitcher*

Lurrr: So, are you going to ask me any questions, or are we going to sit here and get shit faced? I’m good either way…

Warrick Hill: I guess I should ask you something…

*Warrick thinks for a moment, looks around the room, spots one of the elder patrons wearing a ‘retired vet’ shirt…this causes Warrick to have a moment of clarity*

Warrick Hill: Ah! Yea, so you retired like a little while ago…how’s retirement going? I know it’s only been like two weeks…but are you enjoying the retired life?

Lurrr: It's been good just smoking some cigars, drinking some booze, and I have made it out to Vegas a couple of times, but the luck for some reason has not changed since I have become retired.

*Lurrr and Warrick down another glass of beer, almost as if it were a race…they go in for another refill, the second pitcher is almost finished*

Warrick Hill: That sucks…do you ever worry that you’re going to blow all your savings due to gambling and alcoholism and may have to return to GCWA?

Lurrr: Well you never know, but to be honest with you the contracts that I have signed in the past have always guaranteed me rights to much of my merchandise and even a cut of what these companies may still try to sell so I have always had a income coming in, so it's safe to say I will be taken care of.

Warrick Hill: Are you serious?? Mother fucker…how come nobody ever told me I could do that before…the only reason I keep returning is because my funds run seriously low after a few months of retirement…I need a new agent.

*They order a new pitcher…Warrick spots a man wearing a ‘Deep Throat’ t-shirt…he’s reminded of X-Rated Movies*

Warrick Hill: So, you were the king of the X-Division…how do you feel about the state of the X-Division? Crazy Chris, Dangerous Dan, Jaiden Rishel and Robert Santana are competing for the X-Title at Blood on the Battlefield…is the division thriving or in serious need of a makeover?

Lurrr: You know I think there are some hits and misses in that group, I mean none of them can touch what I have done, but guys like Chris and Robert have kept the division alive. I think Dan really should be competing with some of the big guys and the Rishel character I have no clue who he is. But hopefully some new blood can also infuse this division and keep it strong.

Warrick Hill: Yea, I don’t know anything about Rishel either…I’ve seen his picture and, well, he looks like he’s twelve. I knew Ace was hard up for talent, but raiding the playgrounds at Elementary Schools seems a bit desperate, even if the kid has potential. The main event is an interesting match, as far as you’re concerned…while you never really liked anyone, you seemed to really dislike both Bifford and Draco. Who will you be pulling against the least in the World Title match?

Lurrr: Man that's a tough question cause I could give a shit about the outcome of this one. I will say that this is probably the toughest test Draco has had in almost 4 months, but to be honest with you I will not be pulling for anyone. My prediction though.... you have to go with the guy who has dominated the World Title picture for almost 6 months now. Until someone can prove that they can beat him then I won't pick against him, but that doesn't mean I want either of these men to win. Who knows maybe Kreller Masters will rise form the dead and steal it!

Warrick Hill: Hey, I’m sure Bifford would step out of the way if Kreller was a legit option. As the reigning Wrestler of the Year, you know what it takes to be a wrestler of the year…we are already a third of the way through 2010…who, on the roster, do you see as the 2010 Wrestler of the Year?

Lurrr: Pretty easy one there, Draco.... Hey make yourself useful run up to the bar and grab another pitcher, on the boss of course.

Warrick Hill: You read my mind…

*Warrick signals to the bartender, he brings them two pitchers. Warrick and Lurrr push their glasses aside and drink straight out of the pitcher*

Warrick Hill: You were an OCW legend…I remember this because I did the ring announcing duties in OCW and I remember announcing your name many times. Triple M was one as well…now he’s in GCWA and he’s going right after you…what do you think about Triple M and why do you think he’s going after you in GCWA after never going after you in OCW?

Lurrr: Well you have to question his timing once again. If memory serves me correctly he showed his face around the company I built when I had to leave due to personal issues. Nothing could have brought me back in during those times. Now he seems to have bluffed and tried to pull this shit once again assuming he would get no answer. When I was sitting at home watching him put to sleep the millions of viewers I decided that I should take this opportunity to show him some respect. Of all his accolades and accomplishments when you put our careers side by side it's not even close.

Warrick Hill: Yea, he earned the label, in OCW, as the best wrestler to never win the World Title. Word on the street is that he’s improved from his OCW days…he may be trying to ‘re-write’ history and get some closure on the open wounds that were left by not accomplishing his goals in OCW. What better way to start than by going after the man many people called ‘Mr. OCW’. Do you think we’ll see a more improved, determined Triple M or are we going to see the same Triple M we saw in OCW?

*Lurrr is about to answer when the screen immediately cuts off and switches to a man only in boxers. He is standing in a kitchen, holding a orange, purple and white box reading ‘Fed-XXX’ on it…a chubby chick, in just her bra and panties, stands opposite of him, with her hand on the package…we quickly recognize the man as Pete ‘Pornstar’ Parker*

Pete Parker: Umm, excuse me, ma’am…but your hand is on my package…

Chubby Lady: Oh my…a bit forward, are we?

Pete Parker: I’m just here to deliver my package…

Chubby Lady: Well, then, what are we waiting for…

*the nWo music begins to play as the chubby lady puts her hands around the elastic waist band of Pete Parker’s boxers…we hear a few curse words uttered off screen before the tape is cut off and we are staring at a black screen. We then cut to a shot of Warrick Hill, standing in line at the dunk tank*

Warrick Hill: Uhhh, sorry GCWA fans…I guess the rest of my interview with Lurrr was taped over…

*A fan watching the pre-show on his smart phone, standing in line behind Warrick, speaks*

Fan: Dude, was that Pete Parker?

Warrick Hill: Due to legal issues, I can’t comment on that

Fan: Is Pete Parker joining GCWA?

Warrick Hill: Like I said…

Fan: Who the hell still uses VHS tapes?

*Warrick gets pissed, grabs the fan by the collar and throws him at the dunk tank, he hits the target and Martin Ka’Berryon splashes into the murky water*

Warrick Hill: Okay…well, since we have some unexpected time on our hands…how about we take a look at last years Blood on the Battlefield!

*We fade out and see the Blood on the Battlefield III logo*

*The screen changes to the image of The Big Bifford and The Lost Soul sitting at a picnic table surrounded by fans. Bifford smiles and nods to the fans who cheer for him*

Bifford: Welcome, The Lost Soul. How’ve you been?

*The Lost Soul just looks at Bifford apprehensively.*

Bifford: How're you doing?

TLS: It depends on how you look at things. Good or bad, it's all relative to the surroundings around you.

Bifford: Great to hear, great to hear. Do you know what the main event is for Blood on the Battlefield?

TLS: The Great Bifford will go up against Draco for the World title.

Bifford: So what's your prediction, bad boy? Me or Draco?

TLS: Bifford can win if he can gets his hands on Draco. But if the match goes for longer than 15 minutes, it will be Draco's advantage.

Bifford: Do you have a match at the show? I'll be honest, I'm in the main event so I'm very busy and don't have time to memorize other people's matches.

TLS: No, TLS does not have a match.

*Bifford blinks and looks over his program.*

Bifford: It seems you do have a match.. You’re just messing with me, aren’t you? Haha. I get it. So what do you think about your opponent?

TLS: He is a confused young man.

Bifford: Excellent. Sounds like you have a great deal of confidence, for someone who still doesn't have his soul.. You know I still have lots of your soul, right?

TLS: You also have a lot of my food as well. Stop eating the all the donuts.

Bifford: But they’re so tasty.. So listen, spill your true thoughts: What do you think of Derek the Mobley?

TLS: Derek Mobley is a good wrestler. Could also be an all-time great.

Bifford: Do you think he can take down Martin Ka'Berryon?

TLS: He will squash Martin and turn him into wine.

Bifford: Any chance we'll be seeing you in the dunk tank? Those fans really got Martin's grape suit wet earlier...

TLS: No.

Bifford: Did you catch the band here at the festival? What did you think of them?

TLS: They sucked horribly.

Bifford: Well, that's all excellent.. Any last remarks you'd like to make now?

TLS: If you win the belt, TLS will get the first shot.

Bifford: I doubt that.. I’ve already guaranteed shots to Martin and Ludwig and Arachne.

*Bifford stands up and offers his hand to The Lost Soul who just walks away.*

Bifford: Well.. back to you, Warrick!

*We cut back to Warrick where he’s standing in the midst of a large crowd…he has a mic in his hand and uses his arms to shove people off of him as they chant, scream and hold their arms up…all of them are obviously super wasted*

Warrick Hill: Great interview, Bifford…nice to see you interview a living person for a change. I’m here in the midst of all this craziness as these fans, who are worked up in a drunken frenzy, await Tommy Flamer and the Flameheads!! Let’s get a few questions answered…first of all…

*Warrick looks at a super thing, nerdy looking guy…he looks kinda wet…Warrick sniffs and makes a frown*

Warrick Hill: Dude, you smell like gas.

*The guy, surprisingly, has a girlfriend, she takes offense to this*

Girl: I told you not to eat those tacos from the unmarked, white van outside of the festival!

Warrick Hill: No, not that kind of gas…the flammable kind…you look to be doused in it.

Guy: Hell yea!! I’m here for Tommy Flamer and the FLAMEHEADS!! He’s my idol!! Flame On Tommy Flamer!! Flame the Fuck On!!! Wooooo!!!!

Girl: Calm down…have a smoke.

*The idiot Flamehead agrees without thinking…kind of like his parents did the night he was conceived. She places a Pall Mall in his mouth and goes to light it…she does successfully, at first…the flame catches a few of the gas fumes, however, and he is immediately engulfed in fire!! The guys starts to scream and run around…the crowd around him quickly notices and they begin to chant “Flame! Flame! Flame! Flame!”*

Warrick Hill: Holy Shit!!! That was awesome!! This crowd is ready for some Tommy Flamer!!!

*The man on fire rushes off screen…the chants start to die down a little bit…Warrick decides to continue on with his interview segment…he starts with the, soon to be dead guy’s girlfriend*

Warrick Hill: Hey there, white trash beautiful, so are you a fan of the GCWA?

Girl: Huh? I guess…my boyfriend watches it a lot.

Warrick Hill: I wouldn’t be calling him that in public, if I were you. Okay, give me a prediction for the rookie battle royal…even hardcore GCWA fans would have a tough time predicting this one, so you’re about as good as any to ask…who wins, Mr. Itt, Ruslan Koslov, Drake Hudson or Tommy Gunn.

Girl: Hmm, Mr. Itt seems to have the ‘It’ factor, so I’m going to go with him.

Warrick Hill: Sweet…I see what you did there…by the way, what’s your phone number?

*The girl is a bit taken back by Warrick’s forwardness, but gives him her number anyway*

Warrick Hill: Sweet, flame on, babe…

*Warrick surfs through the crowd and finds a fan reading a GCWA magazine…*

Warrick Hill: You look like you know a thing or two about GCWA…so, let me get your opinion on the Marcus Ka’Derrion versus Warrick Hill ladder match…who do you think comes out victorious?

Fan: That’s a tough one, but I’m going to go with ‘His Legacy’ Marcus…

*Warrick slugs the guy with a stiff right hand, knocking him out…he then clears his throat and moves on. He finds a guy wearing a ‘Head of Security: Titan 3’ shirt on*

Warrick Hill: Wow, I didn’t know they made t-shirts for the head of security.

Fan #2: Well, when you’re Titan 3, they can make an exception.

Warrick Hill: Sure…what are your thoughts on the 200 Light Tubes Death Match between Bucky Johnson and Xtreme?

Fan #2: That is quite an extreme match, so I’m going with Xtreme to get his first win!

*Warrick reads the lineup card again*

Warrick Hill: Geez, 200 Light Tubes? Where are they going to put all those tubes? Is the arena going to be dimly lit as a result? And does Ace really think it’s a good idea, seeing as the roster is thin at the moment, to hold a death match?

*The fan shrugs, not knowing what to say*

Warrick Hill: Titan 3 would be ashamed of you.

*Warrick walks off with the fan looking upset. He is grabbed by an over anxious fan*

Fan #3: Dude, are you interviewing people?

Warrick Hill: Get your hand off me!!

Fan #3: Sorry, just wanted to answer a question.

Warrick Hill: Okay, umm…how about the Intercontinental Title match…who ya got?

Fan #3: Ooohhh, good one…their tag match last week was a hotly contested one…The Lost Soul earned a tough victory over the recently named Rookie of the Month, Chris Cortez. Cortez is only one loss away from having a very average .500 record…so a win at Blood on the Battlefield would be huge. Not to mention he’d claim the Intercontinental Titel…a prestigious title held by GCWA greats like Marcus Ka’Derrion, Lurrr, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Punisher and Dynamic Dynamite. This could very well be the launching pad for Cortez’s career. The Lost Soul, on the other hand, is looking to continue his ascension up the GCWA rankings. A lot of wrestling fans have been disappointed that The Lost Soul has failed to capture the GCWA World Title already…this may be the shot in the arm he needs to get over the hump. So many questions that the outcome of this match will answer…

*Warrick interrupts the fan*

Warrick Hill: Dude, get a fucking life

*Warrick starts to walk away*

Fan #3: Wait, what about my prediction?

Warrick Hill: How about this prediction…you’re going to die a virgin. Oh, and as for the match, I’m going to predict it for you and say Chris Cortez…okay?

*The fan looks upset and folds his arms*

Fan #3: Fine…I was going to pick him anyways.

*Warrick spots a fan sitting by himself…he is dressed in black and is wearing a ‘Twiztid’ shirt…Warrick approaches him*

Warrick Hill: Hey there emo GCWA fan…mind if I ask you a question?

Fan #4: I guess…

Warrick Hill: Umm, okay…why the sour attitude?

Fan #4: Just the way I am…you wouldn’t understand.

Warrick Hill: But, you are a fan of GCWA, right?

Fan #4: I no-showed my job to be here, does that answer your question?

Warrick Hill: Answers a couple, actually…well, who are you predicting to win the Ultimate X match?

*Warrick waits for a response…after a few moments of silence, he looks for the fan and sees that he has vanished*

Warrick Hill: Are you kidding me? Oh well, at least that fan does not have an identity crisis…I predict that he was going to say Dangerous Dan…so that’s who we’re going with for that one. Hmm….

*Warrick spots a security guard…he rushes over to him*

Warrick Hill: Okay, give me your thoughts on Lurrr versus Triple M…

Security Guard: Ahh, that’s the match I’m most looking forward to…I’m going to pick Triple M here…no way the guy steps into GCWA after months of people spreading rumors about his debut only to lose his first match. He knows what he’s doing…I’m sure he’s got something planned.

Warrick Hill: You’re a man of the law…don’t you find this a little too suspicious? In OCW, Triple M teamed with Triple P…in GCWA, Lurrr has Three R’s in his name…makes one think…

Security Guard: Dude, you just blew my mind

Warrick Hill: I know, right? I wish I could take credit for that idea…but something like that could only come from the mind of Bifford.

*The Guard nods…Warrick walks away, looking for one more fan to interview. He spots one more fan…this fan is, curiously enough, signing autographs*

Warrick Hill: Well, well, it appears we have a famous GCWA fan here…tell me, famous GCWA fan, who are you predicting to win the World Title match?

Shane Donovan: Fan? Excuse me? I’m Shane Donovan, former GCWA World Champion, current roster member.

Warrick Hill: Huh?

*Warrick looks at Donovan with a confused look, then down at his lineup card*

Warrick Hill: Are you sure?

Shane Donovan: Hell yes I’m sure!

Warrick Hill: But you’re not on the lineup? You aren’t, like, one of the guys who sets up the ring trying to impress all these fans, are you?

Shane Donovan: No, idiot, I’m Shane Donovan…perhaps if you cared enough to pay attention, you might know this.

Warrick Hill: Oh, I get it…you were around like ten years ago, in GCWA’s first run.

Shane Donovan: No!! I main evented the last pay per view, against Draco, for the World Title.

Warrick Hill: On Playstation 3?

Shane Donvan: No, damnit, get away from me before you really piss me off!

Warrick Hill: Whoa! Easy, there…sorry if I don’t have a photographic memory of everyone who competed in GCWA…geez…anyways, your prediction?

Shane Donovan: If GCWA has any credibility left, it will be Draco.

Warrick Hill: Hmm…fairly ominous…I think I’m going to do some research on this Blaine Donovan…

Shane Donovan: SHANE! It is SHANE you doped up retard!

*Warrick walks off…re-entering into the pool of people waiting for Tommy Flamer. Shane Donovan continues signing autographs. The fans are getting anxious for Tommy Flamer*

Warrick Hill: Well, it’s just about time for Tommy Flamer and the Flameheads to perform!!

*A man, alongside a person wearing a black t-shirt with ‘Flamehead 3’ in yellow ink on the front walk up to the mic. The man is reading off a sheet of paper*

Man: Excuse me…but due to certain individuals in the crowd stealing Mr. Flamer’s…

*Flamehead 3 shakes his head, grabs the guy and whispers something in his ear…the man nods and speaks*

Man: Sorry about that, Señor Flamer…due to certain people in the crowd imitating Señor Flamer’s signature move, Señor Flamer has decided to cancel his concert. In his words, he simply cannot perform at 100% under these conditions…

*The crowd starts to turn ugly…they begin to boo and throw stuff on the stage…Flamehead 3, sensing danger, rushes off the stage…suddenly, the crowd, like a swarm of bees, rush after the Flamehead…they rush onto the stage and follow him…we’re able to keep track of what’s going on….we see Tommy Flamer, and the other Flameheads, hopping into an unmarked, white van. Flamehead 3 runs towards them screaming “start the van, start the van!!!”…Flamer notices, but it’s too late…the van is swarmed over by the angry fans, they push it over, tacos fall out and they begin to attack Tommy Flamer and the Flameheads. We cut back to Warrick, who is now standing by himself*

Warrick Hill: Hmm, well that certainly took a turn for the worst. Not sure what’s more surprising, the riot that has broken out or the fact that Tommy Flamer is an expert Taco maker. Anyways, since we have some free time on our hands…how about we relive the first ever edition of Blood on the Battlefield!!

*We are shown a banner of the inaugural Blood on the Battlefield*

*The screen changes to the scene around a wrestling ring, where The Big Bifford is standing with Arachne and Warrick Hill.*

Bifford: Well, a wrestling festival wouldn’t be amazing without a wrestling match, would it?

Arachne: Nope.

Warrick Hill: It’d definitely be missing something.

Bifford: Well, that’s why we’re going to have some athletic competition right now! I’ve invited back some old-time GCWA superstars to compete in a LOBSTER SUIT ARM-WRESTLING LUMBERJACK MATCH!

Arachne: Oh dear God.

Warrick Hill: Sounds brilliant.

Bifford: So, Minos, make those introductions!

*Bifford, Arachne and Warrick all look around, expecting to see Minos, but he’s not there.*

Bifford: Um.. Okay Minos has no-showed.

*A stagehand walks up to Bifford and hands him a piece of paper.*

Bifford: Oh dear.. apparently there’s been an incident involving Minos over at the dunk tank.. Well.. Um.. Hey Warrick, didn’t you used to work for me?

*Warrick looks at Bifford uncomfortably.*

Warrick Hill: Yeah.

Bifford: Did you make me sandwiches?

Warrick Hill: No. I did the ring announcing.

Bifford: Then get up there and do what you do best!

*Warrick walks over to the ring, with a bit of a jump in his step, and climbs in. He’s handed a microphone and begins announcing.*

Warrick Hill: Hello and welcome to the first ever Lobster Suit Arm-Wrestling Lumberjack Match! Introducing our first competitor, Aaron Styles!

*Aaron Styles steps out from among the fans, wearing a lobster costume, and climbs into the ring.*

Warrick Hill: And now, someone else who is also a competitor in this fascinating contest: Cisco Shepherd!

*Cisco Shepherd, who is barely remembered by even the most die-hard of fans, steps through the crowd and climbs into the ring also wearing a lobster costume. Then suddenly the crowds part and a huge group of people wearing lobster costumes surround the ring.*

Warrick Hill: And introducing the LUMBERJACKS: Jay-Mack Youth, Makorpal, Axl Rhude, Rogie Nocturne, Tom Hookum, Amazing Lee, Ty Fierce, Brick and Brent Stephens, Arachne, Jeb the Male Cheerleader, Andy Halerman, Mon-E, James Thrash, and Kevin Kage.

*Warrick steps out of the ring and passes by Arachne, who is now wearing a lobster costume and standing around the ring. Warrick scratches his head, unable to figure out how Arachne got that costume on so quick, but then just shrugs it off and has a seat next to Bifford at the commentator’s table. *

Bifford: Good job, Warrick.. You haven’t missed a beat.

Warrick Hill: Thank you. Now, these certainly are some interesting combatants and lumber jacks.

Bifford: Indeed.. and like I always say, ain’t no rest for the wicked.

Warrick Hill: Why’s Arachne out there with these losers though? He’s an active GCWA champion.

Bifford: He somehow just belongs out there.. and he understands that there ain’t no rest for the wicked.

Warrick Hill: Yep..

*The bell rings and Aaron Styles and Cisco Shepherd look at one another. They look around the ring, expecting some sort of device or table to arm-wrestle on, but see none. *

Warrick Hill: We forgot something pretty important, didn’t we?

Bifford: It certainly seems that way.. but at least they’re in lobster suits.

*The two men walk over to the ring rope and begin trying to arm wrestle while balancing on the bouncy rope. After several frustrating moments, one of the lumberjacks (James Thrash) jumps up on the apron and punches Cisco Shepherd in the face. Cisco goes down and Aaron Styles grabs Thrash by the throat and pulls him into the ring. Chaos breaks out and the lobsters outside the ring begin fighting violently with each other. Meanwhile, Cisco gets to his feet and walks up behind Aaron Styles. Aaron quickly turns around though and nails Cisco with a hard lariat. *

Bifford: This has become quite the lobster-cluster-fu-

Warrick Hill: Yeah it has, Bifford. And what is that? Is a lobster on fire?

*Outside the ring one of the lobsters has clearly been set on fire. For a moment several fans believe it to be a former wrestler that would set himself on fire, but that is squashed when one can see that Arachne is now setting fire to all the lumberjack lobsters.*

Bifford: I think we’re going to call this a no-contest.

Warrick Hill: That’s a whole lot of flaming lobster costumes..

Bifford: There’s going to be an awful lot of damage and possibly corpses to clean up.. I hope Martin Ka’Berryon has got enough sleep so that he can do all of this work.

Warrick Hill: Did that one flaming lobster just do a moonsault?

Bifford: I don’t know.. I’m going to go get some deep fried Twinkies before they close the store.

Warrick Hill: Sure.

*Bifford and Warrick get up and walk away from the announce table, while behind them as they walk away several men in lobster costumes run around a wrestling ring while caught on fire. The screen fades out, a GCWA disclaimer airs as the show has come to an end*

GCWA Would like to apologize to any and all who have been offended by today’s Blood on the Battlefield pre-show. Do not hold President Accelerator or any GCWA staff liable for the actions that have taken place. If you are angry, hunt down and destroy Warrick Hill and The Big Bifford. Thank you all.

*Fade to Black*