TNA Impact
December 3rd, 2005

Yes, I know. These should have been posted days ago. I'm way behind in my "Results" sections, now needing to get both TNA and Raw up before any more gets added on. But this time, I think I have a pretty good excuse.

I already wrote this one.

Have you ever had that moment, where you spent a bunch of time writing something, have it nearly completed, and then have it disappear, never to be seen again? Then you know how my weekend went. That, plus finals, led me to walk away for a day or two, so that I could get my "writing" juices flowing again. After all, it's a pain in the you-know-what to re-write this, especially since it wasn't exactly one of my favorite TNA shows so far. But, as your duly-appointed Results Writer, I have to do my duty and get this posted, if only so I can preserve it for anyone who wants to look back on it.

With that said, we've got a House of Fun Match, a Four-Way X-Division Brawl, and another interview segment from Jeff Jarett, so let's get to it.

- Don West is shown outside of the TNA Impact Zone, waiting for Raven to show up (I don't believe he ever meets him). West instead runs into Samoa Joe, still with the bloody towel. West asked Joe why he was there, since he wasn't booked, but Joe just glared, then walked away. West then turned and ran into Bobby "The Brain" Heenan! Yep, the Weasal was there! Heenan said (if I heard him right) that he was there because he was a big Chicago guy, promoting how AJ Pierzynski of the Chicago White Sox would be there next week.

- Match #1: Chris Sabin won an X-Division Four-Way Match over Petey Williams, Alex Shelley, and Austin Aries. Another fun, high-flying match, although I'm starting to wonder if I'm starting to burn out on them. I mean, they have one every week. They're starting to lose their special-ness to me, sad for me to say. Oh well, I still enjoyed it. In the end, Williams got the Canadian Destroyer on Aries (gotta love that move!), but then got caught and Cradle-Shocked by Sabin, who won the match. Shelley, meanwhile, caught it all on video, having brought a video recorder to ringside before the match.

- Terry Taylor (what happened to Shane Douglas this week, anyway?) interviewed America's Most Wanted, who were watching the funeral of Team 3D again. The usual interview for someone facing 3D in a "Tables" Match at a PPV: 'they may have invented the Tables Match, but we'll perfect it'. They drank up afterwards, keeping Taylor from getting his own beer. This gave Storm a chance to throw in the catch-phrase "Sorry about your damn luck".

- Match #2: Abyss defeated Kenny King. I thought I recognized King, but it took me reading some other reviews to remember that King was on WWE Tough Enough II. He should have won, him and Hawk (better than Linda Miles & Jackie Gayda, at least). Anyway, the training didn't help King here, as Abyss basically squashed him, winning with the Shock Treatment followed by the Black Hole Slam.

- After the match (and a commercial break), Father Mitchell called out Sabu in his unique way. The lights went out, and Sabu appeared in the ring with a barbed-wire chair. But Abyss didn't run, apparently controlling his fear of barbed-wire. The two brawled to the back, with Abyss pretty much in complete control, eventually nailing Sabu with the barbed-wire chair, then Chokeslamming a bloody Sabu onto some security rails. This definitely makes the match at Turning Point look more interesting, as Abyss is over-coming his fears.

- Another Rhino video package runs, talking about what happened during Rhino's time with WWE (without actually mentioning the company). Rhino talked about getting soft while there, and skirted around the hotel incident during Wrestlemania weekend. Still good segments, making Rhino look like a serious threat to Jarrett.

- Mike Tenay & Don West try to do a sale of the TNA Anthology to us viewers (I already have mine), but are interrupted by Jeff Jarrett, who demands that Tenay come with him to the ring to talk about Rhino's video. Jarrett bashes Rhino's problems, including his wife leaving him. Jarrett also mentions that Gail Kim isn't returning his calls due to Jackie Gayda being brought in by TNA (yawn).

- Thankfully, Christian Cage then comes out, with his Jericho-inspired video, to taunt Jarrett (who had mentioned him during the segment). Christian mentioned Jarrett calling him the flavor of the month, and says "I'm Captain Charisma, you silly b&@%tard!!!" Ok, I popped for that. Christian's so much better on the mic than Jarrett, it's not even funny. Of course, that could be because I'm just tired of always hearing the same things from Jarrett. Christian also mentioned Jarrett's lack of benefit to TNA besides some broken guitars and bad haircuts (the crowd loved that). Christian said he would take out Monte Brown, then go for the winner of Jarrett/Rhino, because that's how he rolls.

- As Christian tried to leave, however, Jarrett called him back, challenging Cage to come to the ring. Christian teased just walking away, then came down and brawled with Jarrett, nearly getting him into the Unprettier, with Jarrett escaping to the outside. Just as you'd think the clip was over, with Jarrett cursing Cage on the outside, Bobby Roode suddenly appears and attacks Cage! Ummmm, why Roode and not Monty? Just curious. Meanwhile, as those two fight, Jackie Gayda comes out, confronts Jarrett, and slaps him. I'm still confused there. Finally, Jarrett argues with America's Most Wanted, saying that "it's not what you think", as Christian gets the best of Roode, with security trying to break them up. Weird segment.

- Terry Taylor interviews "Bullet" Bob Armstrong and 4 Live Kru, giving them a pep talk about how united they stand, divided they fall. Armstrong's still pretty good on the mic, but I didn't really understand why they had this segment, other than to loosely promote the 4LK match with Team Canada at Turning Point.

- In the ring, Larry Zbyszko (hiding behind security) gives Raven the chance to sign the release, which Raven says he'll sign, if Zbyszko lets me take the boss out and sign it in Zbyszko's blood. Obviously, Zbyszko's not down with that.

- Match #3: The Diamonds In The Rough (Simon Diamond, Elix Skipper, & David Young) won a "Handicap House of Fun" Match over Raven. I was really expecting more than a mid-card stable facing off against Raven in this one, so my views were a little negative at the beginning, and didn't really come back up. Lots of hitting with weapons, with little match flow, although Cassidy Reilly attempting to save his idol (and getting taken down as well) was pretty cool. In the end, the Diamonds gave Raven one more chance to sign the sheet. When he spit at it, they threw Raven over the ropes and through a table, then made the pin, winning the match. I just couldn't help but hope for more (too many people for me to get interested).

- We end the night with a shot from the back, finally showing why Samoa Joe was there: to beat the heck out of AJ Styles! He beat Styles badly with several knee shots, then leaves the bloody towel on him to end the night.

Summary: Basically, I wasn't too excited with this show. First off, as I've said many times, I watch these shows for the wrestling. So when you only have two actual matches (I don't count barely-a-minute-squashes), and I'm not happy with one of them, I don't consider it a good show. Now, do I consider it a bad show? Nah, I've seen far worse, and there wasn't anything here that I'd actually classify as horrible. It was definitely watchable, and worked out a lot of different storylines. I just think it kind of missed the most important ones.

Yeah, the crowd loves a Christian Cage/Jeff Jarrett confrontation, no doubt. But them brawling kind of makes the Jarrett/Rhino match look like a throwaway to me. After all, who's going to buy this match, if it's almost a certainty that Jarrett will win and go on to face Christian? On that note, they also made the Christian/Brown match look weak, especially when it was Roode, not Brown, who came out to fight with Christian, leading to a brawl that security had to break up. Was Brown late to the arena or something, or are they going to have a Cage/Roode match on the Prime-Time Special? It just didn't make sense to me.

So, in my opinion, the Jarrett/Rhino and Cage/Brown matches are in trouble. Samoa Joe/Styles is strong, and the 4LK/Team Canada thing has been going on so long, it really doesn't need promotion either. AMW vs. Team 3-D could use some more build-up on the Prime-Time Special, for sure. As for any other matches, well, I don't have a clue about them, so I'll just ignore them as well.

Remember, boys and girls, to tune into TNA this Thursday. I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt, since the last Prime-Time Special was worth my time. Here's hoping this one, only a few days before the PPV, will be as well.

The Accelerator