WWE Smackdown
September 1st, 2005

First off, sorry about the tardiness of this report. I was unable to watch my recorded version of Smackdown before going to work Friday night (yes, I'm a graveyarder, in case you hadn't realized the timing of my posts). While I'm not above writing about things I haven't seen, I'd really rather watch the show before talking about it. Therefore, this is getting posted now, when many of you have probably already found the results elsewhere. So be it. I still want to post it, to keep the pattern up, and to continue to better my skills. With that said, on with the show!

- Match #1: Heidenreich won with a choke-powerbomb over Joey Mercury. I'm so happy about a tag-team title feud, I can't say anything bad about this match. Mercury pulled Heidenreich along with a nice flow, and I liked Animal distracting Mercury near the end, using heel tactics for the win (different, but good). Afterwards, LoD '05 threatened a Doomsday Device on Melina, but MNM made the save, taking out both of the champs.

- Jillian Hall appeared in the back with Palmer Cannon, talking about how MNM gets a title rematch against LoD '05 next week. Cannon points out her... earrings. Have I said I hate the facial mole? Ok then. Cannon then apologized to Stacey Keibler & Christy Hemme for 'cancelling' their match from last week (even though the match occurred, and was shown on WWE.com), then set them in a regular wrestling match against each other. Joy.

- "Cowboy" Bob Orton, in the ring, introduces his son, Randy, who again talks about the sale of an Orton-signed Undertaker DVD on WWE.com, for Undertaker's Retirement Fund. He challenged the Dead Man to appear next week to collect the money. Orton also talked about how his opponent for the night, Rey Mysterio Jr, is such a bad father.

- Chris Benoit uses the restroom in less than 25.5 seconds. Eh, the coffee was funnier.

- Match #2: Benoit stays the US Champ, beating Orlando Jordan with the Crossface in 23.4 seconds. Poor OJ. The flushing sound you hear isn't just Benoit using the toilet.

- Match #3: Christy Hemme vs. Stacey Keibler doesn't really get going (thank god), as Sylvain Grenier, in his new "Macho" image, interrupts the match. Hardcore Holly then comes down to say that he wants to see some girl-on-girl action! When Sylvain decides to call Hardcore "Bobby", he gets punched in the mouth and sent from the ring.

- In the back, Palmer Cannon informed Teddy Long that the Batista/JBL match next week will be a "Bullrope" Match, an idea straight from JBL himself. The Network rep also gave JBL the night off to let him rest, against Long's wishes.

- Match #4: Mr. Ken Kennedy defeated Booker T with his finisher, a Fireman's Carry Senton Bomb off the 2nd Turnbuckle. Booker T had Kennedy in trouble, but got distracted by Christian (who was commentating at ringside) got in an argument with Sharmell. I think a break-up of sorts is coming between Booker T and Sharmell. If it helps Booker's path to the gold, then so be it. BTW, I'm still very impressed with Kennedy. He could really be a big star, if they work him right.

- Match #5: Batista, as the World Champ, destroyed Simon Dean. Dean talked before the match how Batista earned the title by using his Simon System. Batista then said that, although he didn't remember using it before, he was willing to try it. Batista pumped up when he drank what Dean gave him, saying it made him bigger, stronger... and more aggressive. He then took out Dean, giving him no offense, even pretending at one point that he was wore out and needed more Simon System. Funny stuff. The Batista Bomb finished things off.

- Match #6: Lotta matches today. Anyway, William Regal & Paul Burchall defeated Scotty 2 Hotty & Funaki. Burchall's got an impressive physique, but I'll need to see more before I say anything else about him. Burchall did win the match, forcing Scotty to tap out to an arm-submission hold.

- Eddie Guerrero gave an emotional speech, as he will face Rey Mysterio next week in a cage. Eddie talked about how he's a man who's lost everything. And you can't beat a man who has lost everyhing, right?

- Match #7: Randy Orton got a Super-RKO on Rey Mysterio for the victory. Surprisingly, no run-ins by Eddie. Guess the storyline's pretty stable, so the speech was enough. The two wrestlers put on a pretty nice match, with "Cowboy" Bob interfering by tripping up Mysterio. This allowed Orton to get a horrible-looking low-blow on an airborne Mysterio, then the Super RKO off the turnbuckle.

Summary: All-in-all, I think I liked Smackdown better than Raw this week. It gave me what I wanted to see, with little that I didn't. It also got me pumped about next Friday, when we'll have Batista/JBL, LoD '05/MNM, Benoit/OJ, and Guerrero/Mysterio, plus a possible Dead Man return. I'm all for that.

The Accelerator