WWE Friday Night Smackdown
October 21st, 2005

It's been a long time coming. Ok, maybe just a day or so. Anyway, it's about time I got around to doing the Smackdown results for this week. I didn't have time all day, plus I've been in mourning for my Texas Tech Red Raiders, who got slaughtered by UT. I wasn't expecting a win, but couldn't they have kept it close? Ok, ok. Let's talk about wrestling. This week, the big matches are the US Title defense and the tag-team main event. Will Edge invade? Will Sharmell interfere? Will Eddie betray Batista? Two of these questions have the same answer. You figure it out. Let's get to it.

- Match #1: Booker T won the United States Title from Benoit. As expected, Sharmell was a factor, at one point about to come into the ring with a steel chair. Benoit saw her and glared her down, then went to have a 'chat'. As Booker T came over and got in some shots, the referee conveniently pulled Booker away, allowing Sharmell to get in the Low Blow of Doom! Any man reading this knows that I'm not being sarcastic there. Yeouch. Benoit, aching, was quickly taken down by Booker T's Axe Kick, to the boos of the crowd. Booker T once again celebrated obliviously with Sharmell, holding the gold high. Hey, you may not like what Sharmell did, but Booker's holding his first gold in a little over a year. Celebrate!

- Also, before I forget, Benoit took one of the most painful moves I've seen in a while in wrestling, and no, I don't mean the low blow. With Booker T on the outside, Benoit ran and did a suicide dive through the ropes. I don't know if it was planned or not, but he was a little high for Booker, and only grazed past him, before falling spine-first on the announce table edge!! Man, it looked devestatingly painful, and kept getting worse with every replay they showed. My hat's off to you, Benoit. You may have lost the belt, but you're still Da Man on Smackdown.

- A "tribute" video was run for the Undertaker, showing his time in WWE, followed by the torching of his casket by the Ortons. A sign read "The Undertaker: 1990 - 2005". I assume we're just ignoring his WCW time.

- A furious Benoit confronted Booker T & Sharmell in the back, with Booker deciding that Benoit was a sore loser. Truthfully, with so much stuff going on in the world today, it's really hard to accept that Booker doesn't know what his wife is doing. Y'know, if Booker doesn't watch Smackdown, why should we? Ok, so I'm just upset that Booker doesn't read this column. So there.

- In the back, Teddy Long talked to security about not letting Edge into the building, then found Cowboy Bob Orton, in pain, being checked over by a doctor. He can't wrestle tonight. I breathe a sigh of relief. Long gives Randy Orton two choices: either find another partner, or wrestle a Handicap Match. Interesting.

- JBL claims that he didn't play his music on Raw. Now, didn't I point out in my Raw report that we didn't know JBL did it? His music's been stolen before, people! Innocent until proven guilty! For all we know, it was a motivational tactic by Eric Bischoff. Or maybe Matt Hardy did it to trick Edge into giving him an opening. Or maybe JBL is lying. Who knows? Ooooo, the intrigue...

- Match #2: Matt Hardy defeated Simon Dean in his Smackdown Debut Match. Well, Hardy, you went back to WWE to be a main-eventer. You're wrestling Dean. How's that TNA contract looking to you? Sorry, sorry, I'm just a bitter guy who wanted a Hardy Boyz reunion. Back to business. Hardy actually had a few rough moments with Dean, who used his cast (a la Cowboy Bob) to get the advantage. But Hardy came back and got the Twist of Fate for the win.

- Match #3: Rey Mysterio won, via DQ, over JBL, due to Edge attacking Rey. Ok, so Edge has a beef with JBL, so he Spears Mysterio? Then runs from JBL? I mean, at the time, Mysterio had JBL about done after the 619. If Edge wanted JBL humiliated, wouldn't he let Mysterio beat him fair and square, THEN attack? I guess it DOES give JBL a loss, but I can't see him feeling too bad about it. He hates Mysterio, remember? Anyway, it was a good match until the interference.

- Afterwards, as JBL was chasing Edge through the crowd, Chris Masters (also from Raw) surprisingly entered the ring and put Mysterio in the Master Lock! Ok, THAT one I didn't see coming. Masters tortured Rey for a minute, then dropped him when various cruiserweights ran to the ring. Masters quickly dispatched Funaki, Paul London, Spanky, and Scotty Too Hotty, before he ran in terror at the sight of Hardcore Holly (followed closely by the LOD '05). I'll talk more about this later.

- In the back after the break, a bunch of angry wrestlers crowded around Rey Mysterio, making sure he was alright. This included M-N-M, who tried to badly injure Mysterio not too long ago during the Mysterio/Guerrero feud. Hmph. Anyway, Teddy Long asked if Rey was ok, and he replied that no matter what, he wanted Edge. Ok, so what about Masters? Oh well, I'm sure he's included in the deal.

- Match #4: Bobby Lashley defeated Big Vito. The bump of the match wasn't either man, as Nunzio tried to interfere for his team. Lashley promptly launched Nunzio about 20-30 feet in the air. Ok, that's an exaggeration, but he seriously got some altitude. Lashley then finished off Vito with the Dominator, latching another victory. If used right, Lashley could go a long way. I just hope he's used right.

- Teddy Long complained in the back about Raw's involvement, getting Palmer Cannon's full support. Cannon then talked about the NTI: the New Talent Initiative. This apparently included the Boogeyman, Matt Hardy, and now, the Juniors! Man, this just depressed me. I hoped this was just a rumor. Then again, I haven't seen them wrestle, so I guess I shouldn't pass judgement just yet. The new members of the Smackdown roster are Mascarita Sagrada, Super Porky (a huge midget, if that's not too much of an oxymoron), and two others that I didn't catch the names of. I checked online, and wwe.com doesn't have them listed yet. I guess I'll need to get some bios up for them.

- As Long tried to leave the room in frustration, he was scared by the Boogeyman's fireworks. The Boogeyman then gave another scary rhyme, saying something about June 11th. I have no idea, so don't ask. Teddy Long sat down in a chair and looked ready to cry, with Super Porky offering some of his whole ham to him. I'm with you, Teddy.

- In the back, Sylvan Grenier is talking about his Hardcore Match scheduled that night with Hardcore Holly. He also says he doesn't care about the Raw invaders, which brings over a ticked off Holly, who gets in his face. I still love it that Sylvan calls him "Bobby". Hardcore has two surprises for Sylvan: a referee, and a ring bell, which he rings, then attacks Sylvan, starting the match.

- Match #5: Hardcore Holly won a "Hardcore" Match over Sylvan Grenier. Pretty entertaining, if only because I haven't seen a WWE Hardcore Match in a while. Grenier took the only major bumps of the match, falling over the edge of the entryway at one point for a short drop, then later getting Alabama-Slammed through a table he himself had set up to lose the match. A nice little treat, really, getting a Hardcore Match between two guys who hate each other. I appreciated it, anyway.

- Batista talked to Eddie Guerrero in the back, who refered to his past with Rey Mysterio and other things, and is happy about the way Batista helped turn him around. A funny moment was when Eddie said he had tears in his eyes at No Mercy, and Batista called him on it, so Eddie said "You're right. I lied!" I may not believe the turn, but I was still laughing at the moment.

- Match #6: Batista & Eddie Guerrero won, via DQ, over Randy Orton & Ken Kennedy. There was some intrigue by the announcers that Eddie might turn out to be Randy's surprise partner, putting Batista in the Handicap Match. Instead, Randy brought out Mr. Kennedy, who went to do his normal announcing gig, but was stopped by referee Nick Patrick, who called for the bell. Kennedy then got hammered by Eddie, starting the match. Near the end, Cowboy Bob, obviously not injured, came out and got involved, distracting the ref. Kennedy got a chair and prepared to jump off and use it on Batista, who was covering Orton for a pin attempt. Eddie ran in and, instead of attacking Kennedy, covered Batista to protect him. Kennedy, of course, didn't mind hitting Eddie and waffled him. The ref surprisingly reacted, calling for the DQ.

- After the match, the Ortons & Kennedy took out Batista, with Randy getting the RKO on him. Teddy Long then came out and announced a special 6-Man Tag for next week: the Ortons & Kennedy vs. Batista, Guerrero, and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. The look on Kennedy's face was priceless, but really, do they actually fear the old legend? I was really hoping for the Undertaker, but oh well.

Summary: Not a bad night of wrestling, all told. It could have been better, certainly, but the matches were all pretty good, so I can't complain too much.

What I can complain about, once again, is the sad use of the cruiserweights on SD. I mean, you've got all this talent, and it's simply used as jobber material to Chris Masters? That part really depressed me, especially since they're probably going to give a little focus to the Juniors Division, which will take even more time from the Cruiserweights. You know, Juventud's been the Cruiserweight Champ since No Mercy, and he still hasn't appeared on SD.

Of course, if you're interested, Juvy has an alright match with Paul London on WWE Velocity on the web, defending the Cruiserweight Title. Plus you have LoD '05 defending the Tag Titles against Regal & Burchill. What does this mean? More title defenses on Velocity than Smackdown. How often can you say that? Oh, while I'm mentioning it, check out Christian vs. Brian Kendrick as well.

Anyway, back to my usual plea: London? Spanky? You guys can shine in TNA or RoH. WWE ain't going to happen. Cruiserweights just have no weight there, pun intended.

As for the rest of the show, well, if you suspend some disbelief, it wasn't half bad. Edge spearing Rey sets up a potential Taboo Tuesday match, Orton got in some good licks on Batista, the Eddie Guerrero situation continued to build, and I definitely can't argue about a Booker T/Chris Benoit feud.

The Accelerator