WWE Monday Night Raw
August 29th, 2005

Last week, WWE put on a pretty decent Raw to catch some of the momentum from Summerslam. What will go down this week? Well, that's what this report is for. Let's get to it.

- The show opened by showing us what happened last week: namely, Jericho being fired and John Cena getting taken out by Kurt Angle, who became the #1 Contender.

- Carlito's Cabana started things off, with Carlito bragging about now being the only talk show on Raw (what with the Highlight Reel going with Jericho). Carlito had Shawn Michaels as his guest, saying that he admired HBK, but that now HBK admired him, the IC Champ. HBK came back with a pointed question: just when did Carlito last defend the IC Title? I'm glad someone finally said that.

Anyhow, HBK stopped Carlito from eating his apple, which led Carlito to call out his other guest, "The Masterpiece" Chris Masters, leading to HBK proclaiming "Y'know, after 21 years, you'd think I'd be smart enough not to get myself in these situations." He then attacked Masters and Carlito, but couldn't keep it up. The double-team was broken up by Ric Flair (who fought with Carlito last week).

- Masters & Carlito complained to Bischoff in the back, leading the GM to announce that Flair & HBK would face Masters & Carlito in a tag match, postponing the Masterlock Challenge for 1 week. Hey, that was the only thing announced for tonight! I really wanted to see... er... I mean, it was going to be... umm... nevermind. Bring on the tag match!

- Match #1: The Big Show won a "Handicap" Match over Buck Quartermain & Steve Madison. I could've sworn I've seen this match before. Anyway, same result, as the Big Show double-chokes them for the victory. TBS has some heat behind him, so I still don't get why he can't get into a storyline right now. Oh, wait, here's one! Gene Snitsky attacks Show after the match, getting the ring bell to knock TBS out. Show vs. Snitsky, huh? Ah well. At least it's something.

- Torrie Wilson & Candice Michelle call out Ashley, supposedly to apologize. Ashley thus comes out. Did she never watch the show before the Diva Search? Wilson & Michelle 'apologize', then set up Ashley with her first match - against Victoria.

- Match #2: Victoria defeated Ashley. Ashley tried to be tough, shoving down both ladies in the ring, then coming through the ropes to boot Victoria. But that was about all she had, as Victoria brought her in and hit the Widow's Peak for the win. Not much here.

- Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch did another "Outlaw"-type promo. Just get them here quick, people, the tag division needs 'em!

- In the back, Todd Grisham interrupts the band AlterBridge, who were playing around Edge. Edge talks more about ending Matt Hardy's career tonight.

- Lita confronts Hardy in his dressing room, telling him to go to hell. Hardy responds by saying he's taking Edge to hell with him. BTW, Lita's dresses are getting even more wild. I could have sworn I got a glimpse there for a minute... Janet-Gate, pt 2!

- Shawn Michaels is shown in his locker room, getting called over by a stagehand and brought to where Ric Flair has been beaten... badly. Damn, he looked terrible! No one acts like they know who did it, although JR 'assumed' it was Masters & Carlito.

- Match #3: Matt Hardy and Edge fought to a No-Contest in a "Street Fight". Personally, I think Hardy should have gotten a win, but the ending wasn't bad, as Hardy took Edge off the stage with a Rock-Bottom-like move into some electrical equipment. Of course, the pads were plainly obvious, even as JR tried to sell it as that they went through some tables. Whatever. Anyway, both men were taken out on stretchers. Hardy got some of his heat back, definitely.

- John Cena came out to taunt Kurt Angle, as well as to inform the crowd that he just saved some money on his car insurance. Cena called out Angle, who did come out, saying that he wanted the title more than ever before. Cena taunted him into coming into the ring, which Angle teased, then walked away, then teased again, then walked away again. Cena reminded everyone that Angle 'likes to attack from behind', and turned away. Angle ran in, and almost got on the Ankle Lock, with Cena kicking Angle out of the ring. Then 2 whole refs came down and subdued Angle, keeping him away. Angle vs. Cena could be a good match, I'll give them that.

- Match #4: Tyson Tomko defeated Rosey with a stiff kick. He then took out the Hurricane as well. Can someone please get the belts off those two?? Please??

- Match #5: Chris Masters & Carlito defeated Shawn Michaels & Ric Flair. HBK wrestled most of the match as a "handicap" bout, getting close on several occassions. Carlito took a lot of hits and was only saved from the Sweet Chin Music by Masters dragging HBK to the outside and clotheslining him. At the end, with HBK fighting back, a bandaged Flair came down and got the tag, fighting well for a minute before Carlito got a low blow. With HBK & Carlito going to the outside, Masters took out Flair with the Masterlock for the win.

Summary: As much as I don't like Masters defeating Flair, at least they're actually pushing him. I just wish Carlito had gotten some of the rub, but really, Michaels dominated him whenever he had the chance. The IC Title is in as similar condition as the Tag Titles. My thought is, have Michaels or Flair win the belt from Carlito, just to get some heat back with it. I'd prefer Michaels, since he can still go (and we could get a repeat of the Michaels/Benjamin match, maybe?), but Flair could be at least interesting.

As for the tag belts, I'm hoping the Outlaws get a nice push and quickly dethrone the Superheroes, because, obviously, they have absolutely nothing left. Either the Outlaws or someone else, preferably a new team, since the Heartthrobs have been jobbed out, and no other teams are really still intact.

Anyway, it wasn't exactly a bad Raw, and the Street Fight did have its moments. But there wasn't much that got me out of my seat, while there were several moments that got me thinking about changing the channel (Rosey's beatdown being a major one). Really, of the 5 matches, only two of them were actual bouts with anything behind them. Then again, I've seen much worse on Thursday nights, and I can't complain too much about any wrestling show that has a "Street Fight".

What can I say? I love violence.

The Accelerator