Larry Csonka is one of the hardest working IWC columnists on the World Wide Web. He's currently the Co-Wrestling Editor for 411mania.com, my favorite wrestling news site, and regularly reviews television shows & pay-per-views from WWE and TNA, among others. I'm honored to report that Mr. Csonka has agreed to allow his PPV reviews to be displayed here at the Rollercoaster, to help continue to catalogue the history of professional wrestling. For more great reviews and columns, be sure to visit the site. You won't be disappointed.
411’s WWE Summerslam Report 8.17.08|
Posted by Larry Csonka on 08.17.2008
HHH, Mark Henry and CM Punk retain their titles, Santino Marella wins the IC Title, Beth Phoenix wins the Women’s Title and as promised the Undertaker sends Edge straight to hell…
Remember to send your thoughts on the show: a score from 1-10, match of the night and trash of the night!
~WWE SUMMERSLAM 2008~
-The announce team welcomes us to the show, run down the main matches and here we go!
Jeff Hardy vs. MVP
MVP misses the big kick right away and things pour to the floor. Jeff slams him to the barricade, and they brawl around the ring. Jeff rolls MVP back in and covers for 1. A slam by Jeff, gets a slingshot leg drop and a cover for 2. Arm bar by Jeff, MVP gets to his feet and gets an arm bar, but Jeff holds on and rolls through. Wristlock by Jeff, MVP to the ropes and Jeff has to break. A boot by Jeff, another and then to the corner they go. A right by Jeff, Irish whip and MVP gets an overhead toss to Jeff, who hits hard in the corner. MVP covers for 2. MVP works the butterfly lock and rolls it into a cover for 2. Back to the butterfly lock goes MVP as commentary plays up Jeff landing badly on his neck. Elbows by MVP, and into the camel clutch. Cross face shots by MVP, Jeff gets an arm out and works for the ropes. MVP pulls him back in center, and MVP then rolls sloppily into a single leg crab. He transitions to a knee bar as he tries to keep Jeff grounded, but Jeff gets the ropes to break the hold. MVP with kicks to Jeff, who rolls to the apron. Jeff with rights, goes for a slingshot and eats a right by MVP. He then cannonballs down onto the back of Jeff, and then covers for 2. MVP places Jeff into the tree of woe and then slams him down on top of his head. MVP releases Jeff and covers for 2. Powerbomb try by MVP is countered into a neck breaker by Jeff. Reverse kick by Jeff, goes for the corner dropkick and is kicked away by MVP who covers again for 2. To the corner goes Jeff, dropkick by MVP and then charges in for the Kawada kick but Jeff counters with the wrap up clothesline. Both men are down and working to their feet, Russian Leg Sweep by Jeff and then the leg drop into a pinning combo for 2. To the corner they go, boots by Jeff and MVP catches the corner dropkick, but Jeff with a sunset flip for 2! Whisper in the wind by Jeff! He goes up top…Shelton is out and Jeff DIVES onto him on the floor. Jeff back up top…SWANTON misses! Drive By kick by MVP finishes it.
Winner: MVP @ 10:10 via pin
-Maria is backstage to interview Santino and Beth. Santino says she let herself go since they broke up and he is doing great as he is with his love in Beth. Maria mocks his uni-brow, but he says it drives Beth nuts. Beth and Maria stare down. Awkward.
-The text vote tonight is "Will Edge and Vickie Divorce?"
WWE IC and Women's Title Match Winner Takes All: Kofi Kingston © and Mickie James © vs. Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix
Santino is now wearing a singlet. Beth and Mickie to begin. Lock up and a side headlock by Mickie. Beth picks her up and tosses her away. Go behind by Mickie, but Beth shoves her off. Off the ropes and a basement dropkick by Mickie. Dropkick to the face and a cover for 1. Beth slams Mickie down, tags in Santino and Mickie kicks him in the head. Monkey flip by Mickie, tag to Kofi who flies in with a big Cross body. Dropkicks to Santino, an Irish whip and mounted shots by Kofi. Upper cuts by Kofi drop Santino and Mickie then dropkicks Beth to the floor. Kofi fakes a suicide dive (Santino jumped into Beth's arms) and then drags Santino to the apron, but this allows Santino to get a neck breaker on the ropes for a cover of 2. Beth tags in and lays the boots to Kofi, tag back to Santino and he gets a snap suplex and a cover for 2. A chinlock by Santino now, Kofi to his feet, snap mares Santino and then they collide. Tags to the ladies and Mickie with forearm shots to Beth. A clothesline follows, off the ropes and another clothesline by Mickie. A dropkick to Santino follows, head scissors try by Mickie connects. Mickie up top and a Thesz press connects but Santino breaks it up. Kofi misses a cross body and flies to the floor. Primal DDT to Santino! But Beth attacks Mickie from behind, and gets the implant buster for the win.
Winners: Santino and Beth @ 5:25 via pin
-Santino has no idea where he is after the match, but when he does he celebrates like he won the world title. Beth then carries Santino out on her shoulders. Santino didn't take the women's title for those wondering.
-Cole and King speculate on the condition of Shawn Michaels, and that is followed by a video package.
HBK is accompanied by his wife to the ring. They hold hands as HBK grabs a mic and the crowd chants for him. He thanks everyone for their support, and says he recently went to the doctor and had a re-evaluation of his eye. Due to complications with the eye and the knee and back surgeries he has had through out his career, it has been recommended that he retire from wrestling. Ultimately it was his decision, and after talking with Rebecca and his family, he has decided that it is time for him to listen to the doctor and walk away. He has had a wonderful career and regrets nothing. He came here in 1988 and he remembers his first Summerslam. The fans have given him the chance to be the Heart Break Kid, the ICON, The Main Event and the Showstopper. Even Mr. WrestleMania. He also was the guy that screwed Bret Hart, that formed DX, the man that innovated the ladder match and the guy that lost his smile and forever be known for retiring Ric Flair. But now he can be known as something else. A full time husband and father. This will not be popular, but it is the right decision. He starts to thank the crowd and…
Suit wearing Chris Jericho makes his way to the ring because he does NOT APPROVE! He won't let HBK go out this way, he will not let him go out on his own terms. He is leaving because of Jericho and he wants him to admit that. HBK says if he has any decency he will leave the ring right now. Jericho refuses and says HBK has to admit that he is leaving because of what Jericho did to him. Admit that to your wife, your children and to himself. Jericho deserves to hear it because he earned the right to hear that he put him out of wrestling. Jericho demands HBK say that Jericho put him out for good. It doesn't matter what HBK accomplished, because as of now he will be remembered for having to leave because of Chris Jericho. HBK says ok, he admits it, he'll go home and sit his wife and kids down and tell them that the reason he can't wrestle anymore is because of a vile selfish, worthless human being. He wants Jericho to go home and do the same, and tell his family that daddy will never, ever be Shawn Michaels. They stare down, and Rebecca wants Shawn to leave. Jericho then goes to punch Shawn, but misses and hits his wife! Shawn checks on her as Jericho watches on. EMT's are out now to help as she slowly comes around. Shawn cuddles her as they leave the ring. Her lip is swollen already, damn.
-Striker and Grisham hype the ECW Title match.
ECW Title Match: Mark Henry © w/Tony Atlas vs. Matt Hardy
Rights by Matt to begin, Henry shoves him off and misses a corner charge. TWIST OF FATE by Matt! 1…2…Atlas pulls out Matt and we get a DQ finish.
Winner: Matt Hardy @ 0:35 via DQ
-Atlas tosses Matt into the steps and beats him down. Jeff is out and saves Matt, swanton off of the apron onto Atlas. Henry attacks Jeff, but Matt is back and they suplex Henry onto the floor.
-We get a video package for CM Punk.
World Title Match: CM Punk © vs. JBL
Lock up, to the corner and the ref has to pull JBL off of Punk. Lock up again, clubbing shots by JBL and into a headlock. Rights by Punk, off the ropes and a shoulder block by JBL levels Punk. Leg kicks by Punk, off the ropes with a flying elbow and then knocks JBL to the floor. Punk charges and gets a SUICIDE DIVE onto JBL! Punk tosses JBL back in, goes up top and gets a cross body press for 2. JBL comes back with another shoulder block, rights to Punk and then grabs Punk and whips him to the corner, charges into a boot and Punk up to again and JBL nails him. Follow shim up and gets the 2nd rope sack of shit slam! JBL covers for 2. Forearm shots to the back by JBL, off the ropes and Punk hits the corner had and falls to the mat. Bear hug by JBL, Punk fights and escapes. Forearms by Punk, knees and then eats a big boot. Another boot to the face by JBL and a cover for 2. Suplex into a float over by JBL and a cover for 2. Belly to back suplex by JBL and that gets a cover for 2. JBL back to the seated bear hug on Punk. Punk gets to his feet, elbows out and then eats a shot by JBL. Abdominal stretch by JBL, Punk works to escape this and gets a hip toss to do so. Corner knee of doom by Punk, the bulldog follows and then goes for the GTS, but JBL escapes and gets a short-armed clothesline. Repeated elbow drops by JBL land and then a cover for 2. Forearm shots by JBL, they trade rights and then JBL pokes the eyes of Punk. Punk back with the spinning back fist, kicks and slaps and gets a cover for 2. JBL catches the springboard and gets a powerslam on Punk, covering for 2. JBL calls for the clothesline from hell, but Punk gets a leg lariat to counter that. Punk picks up JBL, to the corner they go and another knee of doom by Punk. JBL counters the bulldog, sets Punk up top, nails him in the back with rights and the ref backs him off but JBL up top with Punk…super belly to back suplex by JBL. Punk is bleeding from the top of his head, JBL fell on him after the leg lariat and they hit heads. JBL covers for 2 after that suplex. Both men up, Punk avoids a shot by JBL and the GTS for Punk connects, and that is all.
Winner: CM Punk @ 12:05 via pin
-We get a video package for HHH vs. Khali.
WWE Title Match: HHH © vs. The Great Khali
Khali and HHH stand off, Khali shoves him and HH starts throwing rights. He avoids Khali, lands more rights and looks for the pedigree, no dice. Khali grabs HHH by the throat, TREE SLAM~! Khali stalks HHH, and locks in the vise grip! HHH escapes, chop blocks the left leg of Khali and he rolls to the floor. HHH follows but gets killed by the JUDO CHOP! Khali whips him to the barrier and then tosses him back in the ring. Boots by Khali in the corner, and then just beats HHH down. Short-armed clothesline by Khali, and a cover with one foot gets 2. Vulcan neck pinch now by Khali as the crowd chants "You can't wrestle." He releases the hold and then slams HHH down. Leg drop follows and a cover for 2. Back to the neck pinch goes Khali, HHH tries to fight to his feet and does. Elbows to Khali, rights, off the ropes and HHH kind of gets the knee buster. Khali trapped in the ropes and HHH charges in, but eats a boot. The ref helps Khali escape the ropes, but HHH gets a boot, looks for the pedigree and is back-dropped to the floor. Khali breaks the count, grabs HHH but HHH pulls him down and slams his leg off of the steel post. Khali to the floor and as HHH charges him from the apron he gets swatted down. Both men back in now, and Khali has the vise grip again. HHH with body shots, but he starts to fall. HHH now battles back to his feet, breaks the hold but Khali gets it again. Boots by HHH, Khali tosses him to the corner, HHH avoids a charge, kick wham pedigree. That's all.
Winner: HHH @ 10:00 via pin
-We get a video package for Batista vs. John Cena.
Batista vs. John Cena
They circle to begin, lock up and a side headlock by Batista. Off the rope and a shoulder block by Batista. Leapfrog by Cena and a hip toss. Slam by Cena, and Batista backs off. Side headlock by Cena, off the ropes and a shoulder block to Batista. Batista back with a boot, bomb try, countered but he gets a clothesline. Jackhammer by Batista and a cover for 2. An Irish whip by Cena, a fisherman's suplex follows and a cover for 2. Batista comes back with a side slam and a cover for 2. FU try by Cena, Batista counters and chop blocks the knee of Cena. Clubbing shots to the back by Batista, Flair shin buster follows and now Big Dave is taking Cena to school with the figure four! Cena battles, tries to escape the hold and just can't power out. Cena looks for the ropes, and gets them. FU try by Cena, Batista grabs the ropes and Cena tosses him to the floor! Batista rolls back in, shoulder block by Cena. Another and the PROTO BOMB follows. He limps a bit, 5-knuckle shuffle try connects. FU try, Batista escapes and gets a big boot to Cena. Both men are down, the ref counts and they get to their feet and Batista spears Cena to the corner. Shoulder blocks follow and then a whip and a back elbow by Cena. Charges in and Batista with the spinebuster! Rope shake by Batista, thumbs down and Batista bomb try, countered and Cena DDT's the leg of Batista. STFU locked in! Batista is dead center in the middle of the ring, Batista fights and crawls for the ropes but Cena pulls him back and locks the hold in again. Batista again tries for the ropes, and he gets them. Cena stalks Batista, FU try again but Batista escapes and gets a rear naked choke? Yes, yes he kind of does. The choke is a bit sloppy, but a cool counter nonetheless. Cena now must fight to escape, elbows out and escapes. SPEAR by Batista! 1…2…NO! Batista is limping from the STFU, scoops up Cena, but Cena counters into the FU! Both men are down, and Cena finally covers for a close 2. Cena up top now, Batista over to stop him and goes up top with him…they trade rights and Cena knocks Batista to the mat. Up top and goes for the fameasser but Batista gets the POWERBOMB! 1…2…NO! Kick to the face by Batista, Batista bomb! 1…2…3!
Winner: Batista @ 14:10 via pin
-The text voting says 78% that Vickie and Edge will divorce.
-The cell lowers and we get a video package for Edge vs. The Undertaker.
-Edge walks to the cage with a crazed/euphoric look on his face.
-Taker entrance time.
Hell in a Cell: Edge vs. The Undertaker
Taker slams the door shut, and it is now ass whooping time. Edge has this awesome crazed look as Taker stalks him. Rights by Edge, but Taker tosses him to the corner and unloads on him. Big boot by Taker and Edge is down. Back to the corner and Taker works the ribs with big rights. Taker now tosses Edge to the floor, follows and picks Edge up and slams him back first into the cell. Vicious head butts from Taker, drags Edge around and slams his face into the cell. He grinds it across the cage, and then whips him into the steps. Taker lays Edge on the apron and gets a boot. Vickie and La Famila watch the match from backstage. Taker now takes the steps apart and slides part into the ring. This isn't good. Taker sets them up in the corner, grabs Edge and whips him to a corner, picks him up and gets snake eyes on the steps, but Edge blocks it and he slams Taker into the steps! SPEAR by Edge sends Taker to the steps! Edge now gets a table, lays it down and slams the steps into the face of Taker. Edge has another table now, lays it down and comes into clothesline Taker. Edge stacks two table son the floor, to the apron and tries to suplex Taker, he counters and GOOZLES Edge, but he stun guns the arm off of the ropes. Edge gets a chair and nails Taker with it. Back in the ring and gets another shot to Taker. Edge now gets a third table and slides that one in the ring. Another chair shot by Edge, he sets up the table and now gets…A LADDER! TWO Ladders! He slides on in the ring, delivers rights to Taker and then gets ANOTHER chair shot to the head of Taker. Damn. Edge sets up a ladder, waffles Taker in the face with another chair shot and then lays him on the table. Taker tries to fight back, rights by Edge, grabs a chair and climbs the ladder. He says, "I Understand" and delivers the elbow drop with the chair, putting Taker through the table. Edge covers for 2.
10-minutes in now and Edge goes to the floor and grabs another chair, lays Taker on it and grabs the other one. CONCHAIRTO is stopped by Taker, GOOZLE and then a big right to Edge. Edge to the apron and a big boot by Taker sends Edge to the cell. Edge has a huge bruise on his ribs from the earlier table spot. Taker gets part of the other set of steps and crushes Edge's skull with them! Edge is able to come back and slam Taker into the steel post. Edge charges, leaps off of the stairs and SPEARS Taker into the cell, which breaks the cell wall down! It falls on the SD announce table and they brawl as Taker slams Edge into the cell wall. Edge is slammed off of the announce table, and he is then whipped to the barrier. Taker starts to dismantle an announce table, but Edge fights back and KILLS Taker with a TV monitor! They battle on top of the announce tables and Edge runs across and SPEARS TAKER OFF OF THE RAW TABLE AND THROUGH THE ECW TABLE~! Both men make it to their feet, rights by Taker , then by Edge, they trade and Taker gets the advantage. Cole and King look horrified watching this. They go back into the cell, which the crowd doesn't like at all. Back in the ring, and Edge levels Taker with the ladder. Edge rolls to the floor and grabs a camera and sweet Jesus, just levels Taker. Edge covers for 2. Edge sets, calls Taker on and as he charges in, Taker gets a CHOKESLAM! 1…2…NO! Taker picks him up, but as he looks for the last ride Edge gets a LOW BLOW! Implant DDT by Edge gets a cover for 2.
We're 20-minutes in, Taker stops Edge and the ladder shot, goes for the last ride and Edge escapes and SPEAR again! 1…2…NO! Rights by Edge, corner mounted punches now but Taker snatches him up and the LAST RIDE connects! 1…2…NO! Taker now grabs the steps and lays them by the ropes. He grabs Edge and pulls him over to the steps for a tombstone, Edge escapes and gets the EDGE-A-CUTION on the steps! 1…2…NO! Both men work to their feet, rights by Edge and Taker is on his knees. Edge pulls him up and HE goes for old school! He gets crotched by Taker, uppercuts by Taker follows and a GOOZLE! Taker climbs the ropes and CHOKESLAMS EDGE THROUGH THE STACKED TABLES ON THE FLOOR! Taker grabs Edge and rolls him back into the ring, he follows and Taker SPEARS EDGE! Taker grabs the camera now and he lays out Edge! Payback is a bitch. Taker now lays Edge's head on a chair, grabs another and a CONCHAIRTO by Taker! Edge has a small cut on his back from the table bump. TOMBSTONE by Taker! 1…2…3.
Winner: The Undertaker @ 27:00 via pin
-We see La Familia celebrate in the back.
-Taker takes the slow walk to the back as Edge starts to move in the cell. Taker does NOT approve and returns to the ring. He sets up a ladder and sets Edge up on it. Taker goes and grabs another ladder, sets it up beside it and then tosses the ref away. He climbs up and grabs Edge, and says now you go to hell! Cutthroat sign by Taker, and he chokeslams Edge off of the ladder, and he falls THROUGH the ring TO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! The hole is on fire now, yeah, that resembles hell.
Remember to send your thoughts on the show. Include the MATCH and TRASH of the night, and score the PPV from 1-10!