WWE Saturday Night's Main Event #33
July 15th, 2006


Larry Csonka is one of the hardest working IWC columnists on the World Wide Web. He's currently the Co-Wrestling Editor for 411mania.com, my favorite wrestling news site, and regularly reviews television shows & pay-per-views from WWE and TNA, among others. I'm honored to report that Mr. Csonka has agreed to allow his PPV reviews to be displayed here at the Rollercoaster, to help continue to catalogue the history of professional wrestling. For more great reviews and columns, be sure to visit the site. You won't be disappointed.


411’s WWE Saturday Night's Main Event Report 7.15.06
Posted by Larry Csonka on 07.15.2006

John Cena destroys Edge, but can’t leave with the WWE Title.

WWE Saturday Night's Main Event 7.15.06

We open the show with a huge pyro display, no classic SNME intros like last time but they have the white ropes. JR welcomes us to the show as he and Cole run down the card.

Real American hits and Hulk Hogan, along with daughter Brooke make their way to the ring. Lawler is all over Brooke on commentary, but she's a bit old for King. Big reaction for Hogan as usual and he milks it. He gives Brooke the mic.

Brooke: I have always dreamt about this moment, standing here next to my dad in this ring in front of al of you. I hope that my career can be like his, and this is an honor to be here, thank you.

Hulk: I am very proud of Brooke. As far as looks go, thank God she looks like Linda. I was on the 1st SNME in 1985. Because of all you fans, Hulkamania is still running wild brothers.

Randy Orton, with a rose and mic, makes his way to the ring.

Orton: Listen man, I have to apologize for coming out here, there was no way, sir, I would pas sup standing in the ring with the biggest legend in wrestling history. Not to mention your beautiful daughter Brooke. I would like to present you with this rose on behalf of all the Hulkamaniacs. Now Hulk…since you are a LEGEND among legends, and since I am the legend killer…I would respectfully challenge you to a match at Summerslam.

Hulk: Well since you respectfully challenged me, I respectfully accept.

They shake and Hogan's music plays as Brooke gives Randy the "eye-fuck."

Cole hypes the Smackdown 6-man, which is next!

We get a video package for Batista.

Back from commercial as REGAL (~!) announces KING Booker! Dear God they rule.

Rey Mysterio ©, Batista and Lashley vs. Finlay ©, King Booker and Mark Henry

Finlay and Lashley to begin. Lockup and to the corner and Lashley unloads on Finlay. Irish whip and an overhead belly to belly by Lashley. All 6-men stand off and we head to a commercial @ 1:00.

Back from commercial @ 4:46 with Finlay and Rey in the ring. Finlay levels him and puts on a headlock. Rey to his feet, elbows out but Finlay with rights. Boot and a moonsault by Rey gets 2 as Booker and Henry make the save. Lashley chases booker to the floor, Finlay tosses in the Leprechaun and he and Finlay mug Rey with the Shillelagh! Batista and Lashley check on Rey, Finlay back in and beat son Rey, covers for 2. Tag to Booker and he beats on Rey and tags in Henry. Head butts to Rey, but then misses a corner charge. Kicks by Rey and Henry is down. Basement dropkick by Rey…he crawls for a tag and Batista is in but the Rey didn't see it. Booker and Finlay beat down Rey in the corner. Chops by Booker, off the ropes and a RANA by Rey! Rey escapes from Booker and Finlay and Batista is IN! Slams to Finlay and Booker. Off the ropes and a boot by Finlay and a spine buster to Booker! Lashley pulls out Finlay and they brawl! Lashley back in…619 by Rey! Batista Bomb to Booker. 1…2…3. Henry disappeared there, I wonder if he hurt his knee since he seemed to be favoring it.

Winners: Rey Mysterio ©, Batista and Lashley @ 10:15 via pin

Backstage Vince is with Spirit Squad. He hypes the troops and they have holding cells. When you eliminate a member of DX they have to go into that cage. DX breaks in and does an interview while Vince talks. They voice over Vince talking, and they say gay things like he wants to be tied up and spanked. This is rather humorous. We get Vince talking again, and they will not be embarrassed again he says. He's wrong.

Back from commercial and we see Highlights of the Bikini Bull riding. Apparently this was the first round earlier. Later on tonight is the final of Michelle McCool vs. Victoria. They wore skimpy outfits and it looked nice, but I am glad we don't have to see the whole thing.

Johnny Nitro © and Melina vs. Carlito and Trish

Carlito and Nitro to begin. Nitro fakes him out and tags Melina in. Trish is in and they lock up, boot by Melina. Forearms by Trish, off the ropes and a reversal and trip by Nitro and Trish. Melina beats her down and gives Trish a thumb to the eye. Forearms again by Trish, chops to Melina and Carlito licks her hand and she chops Melina. Melina gets the flying hair takedown and tags Nitro. He and Carlito in, lefts by Carlito and a dropkick to Nitro. Wheel barrel countered by Carlito into a German. Trish gets a Thez press on Melina, they go to the floor and Nitro eats the LUNG BLOWER and Carlito pins him.

Winner: Carlito and Trish @ 2:40 via pin

JR and Lawler hype the rest of the show as we see the cages hanging from the ceiling. DX vs. Spirit Squad is next.

Back from commercial and earlier tonight, they met up with Kevin Von Erich. He was announced before the live crowd and gave THE CLAW (~!) SIGN!

DX is out and they have a mic. HBK says the following thrashing of five male cheerleaders is being brought to you by DX, and if you aren't down with that, they have 2 words for ya…too bad. Sorry, suck it.

Elimination Match: The Spirit Squad (Kenny, Johnny, Mikey, Nicky and Mitch) vs. DX (HHH and HBK)

HBK and Mikey to begin. He takes HBK to the SS corner and they beat him down. They try to use the megaphone, but HBK gets to use it and then tosses it to HHH and he hides it. The SS talks, and HHH blows the air horn in their faces. Mitch eats a superkick and is gone @ 1:18.

Back from commercial @ 3:48 as DX makes the SS fall into GAY positions. Spinebuster on Johnny and he is gone @ 4:15. He goes into a cage as well. HBK and Kenny in the ring, Kenny goes to the floor and starts to walk away. HBK gives chase and they brawl, but Vince is here to nail HBK with a chair shot. Kenny takes him back to the ring and Nicky tags in. Corner splash on HBK, a cover for 2. Vince down to ringside now as Nicky has a sleeper on HBK. Back suplex by HBK counters that, Kenny tags in, up top…MISSES the top rope leg drop! HHH tags in and cleans house. High knee to Nicky. Face buster to Mikey who gets tossed to the floor. Pedigree try countered and Mikey is in. Kenny and he miss a double clothesline and get leveled. Pedigree on Nicky and he is done @ 7:38. Mikey eats a superkick and he is done @ 8:00. Slam on Kenny by HHH, HBK goes up top…elbow drop connects! HBK says this is for him, DX gets a superkick/pedigree combo and Kenny is done @ 8:52 and the Spirit Squad continues to be DX's bitches.

After the match, HBK superkicks Vince into the cage with the SS and DX celebrates. They stand atop the cage and celebrate more.

Winners: DX @ 8:52 via pin (Both Survive)

We are back from commercial with a Sabu video promo. He's suicidal, homicidal and genocidal doncha know.

The great Khali and Davari are in the ring. Davari say sat the GAB the Undertaker will step into the Punjabi Prison match with Khali, and Taker's legacy will end. Khali is the one giant, the one phenom, the biggest Giant…

But Paul E and The Big Show are here! They stare down and Show tells Paul he is big.

Show: Damn you are a big boy. Let me explain who I am. I am the Big Show. 7ft 500lbs of Extreme ECW champion. I am the only WWE, WCW and ECW champion. I admit you are a big man, and one day, we will have to find out who the real giant is. But I am here for another reason. I am here to put you over. The way you have dominated Taker, I have never seen anything like it. You have had his number, and pinned him with one foot.

***GONG…GONG…GONG…*** Taker is here and makes his way to the ring as Show and Khali stand in the ring in wait.

Taker attacks Khali as Show watches on. Taker clotheslines Khali to the floor. Show attack Taker now. Taker fires back and they exchange rights. Knee by Show and off the ropes…GOOZLE by Taker! GOOZLE ON KHALI! They GOOZLE Taker! DOUBLE CHOKESLAM! Show and Khali look at each other and leave with no altercation.

Back from commercial with Highlights of Undertaker getting chokeslammed.

Backstage Show and Paul walk. Todd Grisham is here to ask questions. Show says Khali has Taker's number. But he isn't an extreme giant or the ECW champion. Tune in Tuesdays to see that. You tell the Undertaker to show up this Tuesday night for the ECW title! When I am done, Khali can have what's left.

Styles and Tazz here for commentary.

Extreme Rules Match: Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

Stevie runs from Sabu. Sabu gets a chair and SMASHMOUTH on Stevie. AIR SABU in the corner on Stevie. Triple Jump Moonsault on Stevie, and Sabu almost died. He covers for 2. Sabu goes for a table, puts it in the ring and lays the boots to Stevie. He sets up the table, and Stevie attacks. Rights by Stevie, misses a corner charge. Laid on the table…Sabu pulls the table, the leg breaks and he still sets him up…ELBOW DROP WITH THE CHAIR destroys Stevie face and he gets the pin.

After the match he gets a standing Arabian Facebuster on Stevie, how nice.

Winner: Sabu @ 2:00 via pin

Backstage Randy Orton talks with Brooke, and we get to see Brooke's video again.

Randy and her are still talking, and Hulk is here. See you at Summerslam brother. Randy says yes sir as Brooke blushes. Hulk says it never ends. RKO ON THE CAR BY ORTON OUT OF NOWHERE~! Brooke asks what happened, and Randy just walks away.

Back from commercial and we get replays of Hogan eating an RKO on the trunk of the car. Apparently Randy SPAT on the face of Hulkamania, so sayeth JR.

Diva Bull Riding Finals

Who ever stays on longest wins.

Michelle McCool is first: 12-Seconds.
Victoria is next: 7-Seconds.

She is pissed and breaks McCool's ruler. I am pissed for her, the bull was rigged!

We get some video history on Cena vs. Edge.

Edge and Lita's boobs walk to the ring.

Back from commercial, Cena and Edge come to the ring and they do the super special ring announcing.

Edge © w/Lita vs. John Cena

Here we go. Edge is all ready to go and then goes to the floor. Cena attacks and they brawl on the floor. Back into the ring, stunner off the ropes by Cena, he charges but flies over the ropes and we head to a commercial @ 0:50.

Back from commercial @ 3:41 and Edge gets a boot and clothesline to Cena. Clubbing shots by Edge, Cena set up top and Edge with rights. Edge climbs up, has Cena and SLIPS going for a top rope superplex, which was scary as Cena almost landed on his head. Both guys back up, brawl and a yakuza by Edge gets 2. Rights by Edge and Cena fights back. The crowd does the "Boo vs. YAY" chants for the shots. Cena in control and takes Edge down. Clotheslines and a shoulder block! PROTO BOMB! 5-Knuckle Shuffle try…connects. He calls for the FU…has Edge up…FU CONNECTS! 1…2…NO! Lita pulls the ref to the floor and saved Edge! Cena makes eye contact and is now officially pissed the fuck off. Edge misses a spear…STFU LOCKED IN! Lita grabs the ref and slaps the piss out of him. He rings the bell and Cena celebrates, but it is a DQ kids!

Winner: John Cena @ 8:17 via DQ

They announce that the title cannot change hands on a DQ and Edge gets a SPEAR on Cena. Edge and Lita celebrate at ringside, but CENA ATTACKS! He rams Edge into the steel steps and dismantles an announce table! He KILLS Edge with a TV monitor! He yells at Lita, who stays away. Cena snags up Edge, climbs the steps and…FU' EDGE THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Cena celebrates in the ring, but Edge is still the WWE Champion.

(Thanks to Larry Csonka and 411mania.com for usage of this review)