WWE Saturday Night's Main Event #32
March 18th, 2006


Larry Csonka is one of the hardest working IWC columnists on the World Wide Web. He's currently the Co-Wrestling Editor for 411mania.com, my favorite wrestling news site, and regularly reviews television shows & pay-per-views from WWE and TNA, among others. I'm honored to report that Mr. Csonka has agreed to allow his PPV reviews to be displayed here at the Rollercoaster, to help continue to catalogue the history of professional wrestling. For more great reviews and columns, be sure to visit the site. You won't be disappointed.


411’s WWE Saturday Night's Main Event Report 3.18.06
Posted by Larry Csonka on 03.18.2006

It’s a slobber-knocker BAH GAWD!

WWE, the power is back…

WWE Saturday Night's Main Event 3.18.06 Starts…NOW!

Vince and Shane open the show. Vince says HBK's life will be a living hell when Shane takes on HBK in their street fight.

HBK then says tonight, he may sink to Vince's level and if he has to go to hell, he'll take Shane with him.

HHH says he will become an 11-time Champion. Cena is there and he says the champ is here and they have to team.

JBL made a list of all the things he has done in his life. He will embarrass Stone cold Steve Austin. He is a wrestling…GAWD!

The Boogeyman is coming to get us!

That was cool, just like the old opening with all of the short promos. Good stuff.

Huge stage and a ton of pyro for the show opening. Jim BAH GAWD Ross welcomes us to the show! He is with Tazz and Jerry Lawler.

HHH and John Cena © vs. Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton and Kurt Angle ©

Cena and Orton to begin. Rights by Cena but Orton with an eye poke. Off the ropes, hip toss and a blind tag allows Angle to German Cena. Uppercuts to Cena, but he gets a boot. Belly to belly by Angle and then HH knocked off the apron. Spinebuster by Cena gets 2. HHH tags in and he unloads with rights on Angle. The arena is smoky as hell. Off the ropes and a German by Angle, another and the third! Tag to Rey and he springs in with the Thez press. Crucifix into a cradle gets 2. Backslide by Rey for 2. Thumb to the eye by HHH and Cena tags in. The boo birds are out for Cena. Shoulder block to Rey, but Rey gets a dropkick. Head scissors to HHH. Dropkick then and Rey in control. Rey trips Cena…619 try but HHH saves Cena and levels Rey with a clothesline. We head to a commercial @ 3:45.

We are back @ 5:35 with HHH in control over Rey. Rey with shots to HHH, but HHH with a knee takes Rey to the floor. HHH follows and rams Rey to the barrier. Cena and HHH argue, and then HHH tosses Rey back in. Cover for 2. Cena refuses a tag, and HHH with an Irish whip. Boots by Rey. Off the ropes and a spinebuster for 2 as Angle makes the save. Rey with rights, off the ropes and a sleeper by HHH. Rey battles and escapes. Irish whip, reversal and Rey hits hard. HHH sets him up top…Rey elbows him off and gets a moonsault to HHH! Both men down and up. Kick by Rey and Cena and Orton are in. Cena in control and tries the FU, reversal and then the proto bomb! 5-knuckle shuffle! Pump it up…Fu try and he gets it. HHH in…PEDIGREE to Cena! HHH leaves Cena laying and goes up the ramp. He comes back and puts Orton on top of Cena. 1…2…Rey saves it and he and Orton argue. HHH back, PEDIGREE to Rey! He tells Orton to cover him and Angle takes out HHH. RKO by Orton to Angle! Cena fights to his feet, RKO try, countered and Cena rolls him up for the win!

Winners: HHH and John @ 11:45 via pin

Cena celebrates and talks junk to HHH.

Commercial time.

We are back.

JR puts over the event as we countdown to WrestleMania. They hype the WM card. Hey now discuss the Hall of Fame.

Mean Gene: Inducted by Hulk Hogan
Eddie Guerrero: Inducted by Chavo Guerrero, Rey Mysterio and Chris Benoit
Verne Gagne: Inducted by Greg Gagne
Sherri Martel: Inducted by Ted Dibiase
Bret Hart: Inducted by Steve Austin

In the back Teddy checks on Booker. He was running the steps and he injured himself. Sharmell saw his knee pop, and says he needs to cancel the match. The doctor says he is in pain, and Booker needs an MRI. He says it will take 3 or 4 hours. He says Booker is in too much pain. Teddy says the match is off. Booker is sorry, and he knows this is huge. Booker tries to stand and limps out, smiling. Tremendous!

Commercial time.

We are back!

The Cutting Edge

Lita welcomes us. The ring is all set up with hardcore toys. She puts over Edge as the most watched champion in 5-years.

Edge thanks Lita and says he will remain perfect at WM, when he beats the "supposed" hardcore legend, Mick Foley. The ring is set up to inspire Foley. Right now beating him won't mean much, he isn't the legend anymore. Foley is now a cuddly teddy bear, a muppet, his latest deal is using cheap pops, which the idiots go along with. He says Foley will endorse his latest outside failing project and dance with a sock. Foley, get out here and get your WM beat down. Foley, get out here.

Nothing. He says Foley is overrated. Here comes Foley. Foley has a bag, tacks I presume. Edge prepares to light a table on fire and he does. Someone puts I tout and Foley attacks! He takes Edge down and grabs the bag. TACKS! He grabs Edge and delivers rights. Lita nails Foley with a chair and Edge gets a face buster into the tacks! Foley is covered in tacks…and SMILES! He has a chair and chases Edge! Nails him! Neck breaker on the ramp! He lays a chair and puts Edge on it…he grabs another chair…CONCHAIRTO ON EDGE! Foley stands tall!

Commercial time.

We are back with a video history of HBK vs. Shane and Vince.

Sharmell and Booker are in the back. He was showering. He was faking, the oldest trick in the book. They dance and all of the sudden BOOGEYMAN appears hanging upside down and laughing! The T's run into the hall screaming and run away.

Commercial time.

We are back!

Beer Drinking Contest

JBL is here, as we await Steve Austin. JBL says this s the moment that fans and NBC have been waiting for. The moment that JBL, self made millionaire and wrestling…GAWD appears, in the bowels of American. He runs down Detroit, the mayor and their teams. He says the motor industry is losing to "Toyota." The unions as an embarrassment to the USA. They keep losing jobs to Japan and Mexico. At Wm, when I beat Chris Benoit, things will change. The country will stop losing jobs, the country will stop being a joke…

Austin is here! He has his truck too! He burns rubber on the stage. Loud Austin chants. He has some things to say. First of all, good to be here on NBC at SNME. It's also good to be back here in Detroit. He's also thirsty. He started to think, oh Hi JBL. You trying to sneak up on me? Why did you challenge me to this contest? JBL says it was something he didn't say. In Texas there are two things, The Alamo and JBL! He will beat him by drinking beer. Austin says JBL may have a chance, he's big. What are you 5'11? JBL says 6'6. Austin says he knows he drinks a lot, so he started practicing. He woke up and called room service, I need breakfast. I want 1 egg, and 2 cases of beer. So I ate the egg for vitamins and proteins. At lunch I went to the bar, I drank pitchers of beer and I am ready to get started.

JBL stops him and says his problem is that he doesn't listen. This is my game, I make the rules. You want to buck the system, I make the rules. 25 beers for each man. I got good Canadian beer, because you can't get good beer here. Austin seems offended by no American beer.

25 each and we have a minute to drink as much as they can. We'll get back to back like in the old west. Austin says he is leery, and JBL says he isn't Brokeback Mountain, he's a real cowboy. When we are back to back, I'll say go and at the end of one-minute we'll crown a winner. Austin calls him a minute-man.

JBL cheats and pours the beer down his chest. Austin catches him and asks what he is doing. For someone with a big mouth you sure miss a lot. JBL nails him and runs! Benoit is here and tosses JBL back in. Beer shower for JBL! Austin puts on JBL's hat…STUNNER TO JBL!

Austin does "CPR" and then calls for more beer.

Candace and Victoria are backstage. They are ready for their match.

Commercial time.

We are back and get a video history of Mickie stalking Trish.

Candace and Victoria vs. Trish © and Mickie

Trish and Candace to start. She twirls and Trish attacks. Victoria grabs Trish's hair and Candace chokes her out. Now chokes her on the ropes and then drops a knee to her back. Victoria kicks Trish and Candace tags. Slingshot leg drop by Victoria for 2. Victoria slams her face first to the mat, and then into a front face lock. Trish fights…TAG but the ref didn't see it. Victoria and Candace try a double suplex, but Trish with a double DDT! Victoria nails Mickie and then Trish boots Victoria, Stratus faction and that is all.

Winners: Mickie and Trish @ 2:43 via pin

Mickie says she guesses this is goodbye, because that's what Trish wants. She wants to say goodbye the right way. She offers a hand and they shake. Mickie kisses her on the cheek, hugs her and then…CHICK KICK to Trish's head! She grabs her by the hair and yells, "DO YOU LOVE ME KNOW?!" Stratusfaction by Mickie and she stands looking proud of herself.

Commercial time.

We are back and during the break on Unlimited Mickie tells Coach that she loved Trish, but Trish broke her heart. DO YOU LOVE ME KNOW TRISH? You broke my heart, and now I will break you.

They run down the WM Card.

Here comes Mark Henry and Davari. They show a video package about the Henry/UT feud. Henry will call out the Undertaker…NEXT!

Commercial time.

We are back with Henry in the ring. Davari says Henry isn't afraid of an undefeated streak or a casket. Henry isn't afraid of the Undertaker. Henry says the Undertaker is afraid of him. Deadman, I will beat you at your own game. On everything I will shove you into the coffin…

GONG…GONG…FIRE, SMOKE, LIGHTS OUT…GONG…GONG…

Druids with a Casket! Henry tells them to bring the coffin to him! They wheel the casket to the ring and Taker now walks out. I grabbed a coffee and a scone and got back in time to see Taker finally get to the ring.

Taker in the ring takes off the jacket and hat to stare down with Henry. BRAWL~! Taker with a big whoop ass session on Henry. Henry takes him down and then delivers the boots. To the floor they go and Henry goes to whip Taker to the steps, but Taker reverses it and Henry slams into the steps. Boot to Henry and he goes over the barrier and then Taker gets a GOOZLE on Davari…CHOKESLAM on the casket! Taker on the ring apron now…grabs Davari…TOMBSTONE ON THE CASKET! It was good to know you Shawn Davari. Taker's music plays and he stands tall.

HBK walks backstage, and the street fight is next!

Commercial time.

We are back!

Street Fight: HBK vs. Shane McMahon w/Vince

HBK charges up the ramp and attacks Shane as he enters! They brawl down the ramp and HBK with rights to Shane. HBK looks for toys under the ring, gets a chair and waffles Shane. He grabs a table now and sets it up. HBK nails Shane again, but Shane gets a whip to HBK and he nails the steel post! Shane grabs another table and then grabs a ladder! He slides it in the ring and Vince sets up a table on the floor. Shane with rights and jabs to HBK. Picks up HBK and rams him back first into the post. HBK is down and Shane sets up the ladder. Vince puts HBK on the tables and Shane climbs the ladder! HBK nails Vince, HBK up the ladder s well…Vince up and HBK kicks him. HBK has Shane…SUPERPLEX OFF THE LADDER THROUGH THE TABLES!!!!!! HOLY SHIT! Both men are down and Vince calls for help as we head to a commercial @ 4:00.

We are back @ 6:50 as the match is continuing. EMT's came out, but the match continued. Slam by HBK, he has the ladder and sets it up. He goes to the top rope…then up the ladder. Vince nails HBK with kendo stick shots as HBK was prepping for the elbow. They show a replay of the table bump about 6-times. Shane slams the ladder into HBK's back. He does it again and Vince is pleased as Shane covers for 2. Shane grabs the ladder again, charges at HBK and about takes off HBK's head. Shane covers 1…2…NO! Elbows to the back by Shane, then into a surfboard. HBK fights, gets to his feet but Shane brings him back down to his knees. HBK to his feet again and gets out. DDT by Shane as HBK tried to get Vince. Shane covers for 2. Shane grabs a chair and waffles HBK. Shane drags HBK to the corner now and Vince gets a trashcan and it looks like it's the Shane-o-macinator time. Vince holds the can, Shane up top…leaps and HBK MOVES AND SHANE NAILS VINCE! HBK gets to his feet and they exchange rights. HBK in control, flying forearm and KIP UP! Atomic drop. Rights to Shane, slam and HBK goes up top. ELBOW DROP! Tune it up bitches! SUPERKICK to Shane! 1…2…NO! Vince pulls out the ref! HBK after Vince now and he tosses him in the ring and goes after him. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU TO GET VINCE! LOW BLOW BY SHANE! Shane now grabs HBK…sharpshooter! Vince has them ring the bell and that is all!

He makes Lillian announce Shane as the winner.

Winner: Shane McMahon @ 16:44 via Submission

The McMahon's celebrate as we fade…

(Thanks to Larry Csonka and 411mania.com for usage of this review)