WWE Royal Rumble '07
January 28th, 2007


Larry Csonka is one of the hardest working IWC columnists on the World Wide Web. He's currently the Co-Wrestling Editor for 411mania.com, my favorite wrestling news site, and regularly reviews television shows & pay-per-views from WWE and TNA, among others. I'm honored to report that Mr. Csonka has agreed to allow his PPV reviews to be displayed here at the Rollercoaster, to help continue to catalogue the history of professional wrestling. For more great reviews and columns, be sure to visit the site. You won't be disappointed.


411抯 WWE Royal Rumble Report 1.28.07
Posted by Larry Csonka on 01.28.2007

No title changes, but The Undertaker does something he has never done before!

Remember to send your thoughts on the show for the 3R's!

If you would, include:
-The Match of the Night
-Trash of the Night
-Score the show from 1-10
-And include any "overall thoughts" on the show

WWE Royal Rumble 2007~!

-JR and King welcome us to the show and run down the card. Cole and JBL welcome us as well. VIVA JBL~! Styles and Tazz are here too! Where are Carlos and Hugo?

-We get a replay of the NASTY injury Mercury suffered at Armageddon.

MNM vs. The Hardy's

Matt and Nitro to start. Nitro jumps Matt as he went after Mercury. Mercury tags in now and they beat down Matt. Mercury targets the face with a knee jam on Matt. Tag to Nitro, rights to Matt. Matt fires back and gets caught in the corner, Mercury in and slams him to the corner. Rights by Matt again, tag to Jeff and a shoulder ram and sling shot kick to Mercury, cover for 2. Mercury rams him to the corner, tags Nitro and rights by Nitro. Off the ropes and Jeff with an atomic drop and leg drop to the nads. Cover for 2. Tag to Matt, off the ropes and a double back elbow. Mercury in and tripped and Matt tries and gets a suplex. Back to Nitro and Matt slams him to the corner. Neck breaker by Matt gets 2. Slam countered and a right to the jaw by Nitro. Tag to Mercury and they work over the injured jaw of Matt. More rights by Mercury. Tag to Nitro and more rights to Matt. Uppercuts now and he chokes out Matt. Boot to the head by Mercury and Nitro covers for 2. Neck vice applied by Nitro. Matt fires away to escape, does and a knee by Nitro and a tag to Mercury. Double face jam to the knees on Matt. Mercury covers for 2. Another cover for 2. Matt takes him down and Mercury fires away and keeps control. Clothesline by Mercury and a cover for 2. Chinlock applied by Mercury. Matt battles out, but Mercury pulls him down by the hair. Mercury to the 2nd rope卐lbow misses. Rights by Matt, tag to Jeff. Clotheslines to Nitro and Mercury. Gord buster to Nitro gets 2. Whisper in the wind by Jeff gets 2. Mercury with the save. Matt in and a back suplex to Mercury. Double suplex on Nitro. Hardy's up top匱andem splash and leg drop, but Nitro got the knees up on Jeff. Matt connected. Mercury tags in and boots to Jeff. Off the ropes ad a knee to the gut by Mercury and a cover for 2. Elbow drop by Mercury, rams him to the corner and rights to Jeff. Nitro tags in and gets a charging knee to Jeff and cover for 2. Nitro is holding his face and either selling well or hurting from the leg drop from Matt. Mercury in and a cover for 2. Waist lock by Mercury, Jeff elbows out and gets a schoolboy for 2. Mercury works the ribs again, good psychology thus far. Double gut buster to Jeff by MNM gets nothing as Matt breaks it up. Kicks by Nitro to the gut, into a chinlock and body scissors. Jeff escapes and fights for a tag, but Nitro with another front facelock. Mercury in and Jeff gets a tag but the ref didn't see it. MNM drag Jeff to their corner and MUG him. Mercury chokes out Jeff and breaks. Tag to Nitro and Jeff tosses Mercury into a charging Nitro. Mule kick and a TAG to Matt! Clotheslines for all. Elbows and rights. Backdrop on Nitro. Reverse elbow to Mercury. Bulldog on Nitro and cover for 2. Matt to the 2nd rope匒HHHHHHH elbow drop and a cover for 2 on Nitro. Off the ropes and a boot by Nitro, Mercury in, snap shot stopped by Jeff. Poetry in Motion to Mercury. PIM misses on Nitro, a roll up on Matt gets 2! Side effect by Matt. Twist of Fate on Nitro! Mercury charges and Jeff gets a tag. SWANTON on Nitro! 123!

Winners: The Hardy's @ 15:36 via pin

-MNM is pissed at the loss.

-Teddy and Coach are here to do the drawings. Kelly spins the wheel of balls. Oh yeah. They argue and Edge is here and hits on Kelly. Edge then makes fun of her. She then makes fun of Edge's name. Orton is here now. They argue and both draw. Orton says he will do the same thing and toss Edge tonight. Edge looks at his ball and they make a joke about showing each other their numbers. KING BOOKAH is here! Tell me you just didn't say that.

-We get a WrestleMania commercial.

-We get a video package for Test vs. Lashley.

ECW TITLE MATCH: Test vs. Lashley

Lock up and they walk around the ropes and break, but Test slaps Lashley. Tackle by Lashley and rides him to the ropes. Boots by Test, chokes out Lashley now. Elbow by Test but Lashley gets a T-BONE suplex. Boot and stalling suplex by Lashley. Test to the floor now. Lashley follows and rights to Test. Back into the ring and Test with a shoulder block and they SLAMS Lashley to the steel post and he falls to the floor. That looked painful. Test tosses him back into the ring and covers for 2. Arm bar by Test, I thought this was going to be Extreme Rules? Oh well. Lashley tries to battle out to his feet. Test keeps him down but Lashley gets to his feet. Irish whip and an elbow by Lashley. Test grabs the arm and slams it down, covers for 2. Arm bat again by Test. Knees to the arm by Test. Lashley fights again, to his feet and slams Test to the corner. Elbow by Test but Lashley gets a backdrop. Clothesline to Test and a corner shoulder ram. Press slam try, but Lashley is too weak and he drops Test. BIG BOOT by test as the ref checks Lashley and a cover for a close 2. Test is pissed and grabs Lashley. TKO try Lashley counters and gets an overhead belly-to-belly throw. Clothesline sends Test to the floor. The ref counts, Test to his feet and Test walks away and gets counted out.

Lashley gives chase and grabs Test and drags him back to the ring. Rights to test, Irish whip and then the powerslam.

Winner: Lashley @ 7:20 via count out

-The Doctor checks on Cena. Vince is here now and harasses Cena. Vince asks if he will forfeit the WWE Title. Vince thinks he is hurt and you can't see me. Vince can't see him after tonight as the champ. He also won't see him as the last man standing.

-We get a video package for Kennedy vs. Batista.

WORLD TITLE MATCH: Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista

Lock up and Batista tosses him off. Lock up again and to the corner, and KK into the ropes. Rights to Batista, schoolboy and a count of 2. To the corner again and shoulder blocks by Batista. Rights by KK, off the ropes and a big boot that basically misses by Batista. Suplex by Batista gets 2. To the floor and Batista slams KK off the barricade. KK sidesteps him and slams the knee of Batista into the steps. Back into the ring and Batista with elbows to KK on the apron. Batista limps around and clubs away at KK. Back elbows by Batista, shoulder rams in the corner again. Batista limps and a basement dropkick by KK. KK kicks away at the leg and is now in control. Elbows to the knee by KK and then knee drops. Flair style drop downs by KK. Cover on Batista gets 2. Standing figure four by KK, rolls and turns in into a nifty variation. KK grabs the ropes for leverage and has to break the hold. KK's nose is bloody, he works the knee still and remains in control. Face wash by KK. Running boot to the head by KK and a cover for 2. Boston crab by KK into a single leg crab. Batista fights, crawls and KK pulls him back center ring. Batista turns and kicks him off, roll up for 2. Slam try, KK escapes and CLIPS the leg of Batista. Rights to Batista now. Off the ropes and Batista with a spinebuster. He clutches the knee, thankfully no torn quad but with Batista you never know. Both men fight to their feet. Rights by Batista, boot to the knee by KK and a kick to the face. Batista Batista's up and gets clotheslines. Backdrop on KK and a limping shoulder ram. Slam by Batista. Batista has KK up, front roll slam by Batista. Warrior rope shake and thumbs down. Batista bomb try, KK tosses Batista into the ref. LOW BLOW! Neck breaker. Cover by KK but no ref. KK yells at the ref and kicks Batista in the face. DDT by KK and a cover for 2. Rights by KK, chants for Kennedy now! Irish whip, reversal and a boot to Batista. KK up to the 2nd rope but leaps into a clothesline. Batista bomb try卌onnects. 123.

Winner: Batista @ 10:36 via pin

-The vampire picks his number. Coach and Teddy make fun of him. Little bastard wants a number for the Rumble! Coach makes a small joke and HE ATTACKS COACH! YES! Khali walks in and Little Bastard runs away. He picks his number, well he took a few and then drops them when Coach says he can only take one. Kelly picks them up and says they are the biggest balls she has ever held.

-Wait for it

-DAMN!

-We get a video package for the WWE Title match.

WWE TITLE/LAST MAN STANDING MATCH: Umaga w/Armando Alejandro Estrada vs. John Cena

Cena has his ribs taped up. They stare down and SLUGFEST TIME! Rights by Cena, Umaga nails him in the gut. Jawbreaker by Cena. Umaga with another shot to the ribs. Cena to the floor as the ref begins to count. Up at 4 and rights by Umaga, Cena on the apron and falls to the floor again. Umaga follows and slams Cena into the steel steps. The ref counts, up at 6 and Umaga attacks again. They brawl up the ramp way. Rights by Umaga. Cena fires back, slams Umaga off the apron, hard head John and Umaga nails him in the ribs. Can't head butt a Samoan. Slam by Umaga and then kicks to the ribs. Umaga works the ribs/abdominal area and Cena is down. In the corner and shoulder rams by Umaga. Irish whip and boots by Cena. Stiff clothesline by Umaga. Armando is playing his part well as he "holds off" Umaga so the ref can count. Cena up at 7 and Umaga with rights again. Slam by Umaga, he goes to the floor and grabs the top portion of the steps. Armando holds him back as the count is on. Cena up at 7 as Umaga tosses in the steps. Cena stun guns Umaga off the top rope and Cena picks up the steps and THROWS THEM ONTO UMAGA who was on the floor! Umaga is down and the count is on! Armando helps Umaga and he is up at 6. Cena to the floor and they brawl. Back into the ring, rights by Cena. Off the ropes and a spin kick by Umaga! The count is on Cena again. Up at 6 and Umaga on the attack again. Bear hug by Umaga as he continues the assault on the mid-section. Cena is almost out on his feet, BELLY TO BELLY by Umaga and he backs off for the count. Umaga now to the floor and grabs the other half of the steps and slides them into the ring. Cena is up at 8, Umaga grabs him and clubbing shots to Cena. Tables chant now by the crowd. Umaga beats Cena down again. Umaga sets the steps up in the corner. Grabs Cena, and lays him out in front of the steps. Umaga backs up匯UNNING ASS RAMMISSES and Umaga crashes into the steps! Cena picks up the steps and slams them into Umaga! The count is on as Cena is up at 3, Umaga still down. Umaga up at 7匔ena up top卌ross body, caught and a SWANK SPINNING Uranage by Umaga~! Umaga drags Cena over to the ropes so he can get up and he then nails him in the ribs again. Leaping Banzai drop by Umaga. Another! A 3rd卪isses as Cena gets a low blow! Front rolling face jam into the steps by Cena. PROTO BOMB onto the steps! The count is on again. Both men down, Cena up and as Umaga is laid across the steps he gets the 5-knuckle shuffle! FU try卙as him up卋ut Cena's back gives out and Umaga counters into a DDT onto the steps. Count is on again, Umaga up at 5. Cena is BUSTED open! He is up at 9. Rights by Umaga and Cena is down. Rapid-fire rights by Umaga! Cena is pouring blood at this point. Cena down and the count is on again. Cena pulls himself up at 8. Rights by Umaga, some Cena sucks chants here. Cena Cena's up and is a fireball now. Off the ropes卆nd a Samoan drop by Umaga about KILLS Cena as he lands on his head and shoulders. Umaga sets for the spike匜OR SAMOA卋locked by Cena! Head butt by Umaga and Cena is down. Umaga picks him up, tree of woe~! Lots of blood now, Umaga misses a head butt as Cena sat up. Up top匒LABAMA JAM on Umaga! Cena slams Umaga to the steel post. Cena takes out Armando, grabs a TV monitor and measures Umaga卆nd KILLS HIM with it! The count is on as Cena gets back into the ring. Umaga is up at 8! Shoulder block by Cena and Umaga to the floor. Cena off the apron, caught and Umaga SLAMS him into the steel post, and then slams him off the steps! They brawl to the ECW announce table, and then he dismantles the other 2 announce tables. Cena is laid out on the ECW table, he climbs the Raw table卌harges and MISSES A SPLASH and goes through the ECW TABLE! Cena crawls back into the ring as the count is on. 789 Umaga is ALIVE! SWEET JESUS! Armando now undoes the corner ropes, actually unscrewing shit and the top rope falls down. Umaga grabs the metal part, FOR SAMOA匔ena grabs up Umaga匜U~! He grabs the metal part and NAILS Umaga! STFU WITH THE ROPES AROUND UMAGA'S THROAT~! Umaga is fading匔ena keeps pulling back and finally breaks the old. The ref counts again, Umaga is ALIVE AGAIN! STFU AGAIN and he chokes him even more! Cena breaks out of tiredness. The ref counts, 345匔ena up, 678910.

Winner: John Cena @ 23:03

-A bloody Cena stand victorious over the carnage of Umaga.

-Coach and Teddy argue over who will win the Rumble. Sandman picks him number and drinks a beer and bloodies himself. Flair is here for his number. Kelly hits on him and PIMP music hits. The ECW dancers come in and FLAIR DANCES~! Ric Flair is awesome.

-It looks as if JBL, Cole and Lawler are covering the Rumble. No ECW announcers? Styles, JR and JBL would have been my pick.

-A Rumble video package airs.

-90 second intervals this year for the Rumble match.

ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH
Featuring: Shelton Benjamin, Chris Benoit, Carlito, Tommy Dreamer, Kenny Dykstra, Edge, Finlay, Ric Flair, Chavo Guerrero, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Gregory Helms, Hardcore Holly, Kane, King Booker, Chris Masters, Shawn Michaels, The Miz, Johnny Nitro, Randy Orton, Montel Vontavious Porter, CM Punk, Sabu, Sandman, The Great Khali, Kevin Thorn, Undertaker, Rob Van Dam, Viscera, Super Crazy

#1 is Ric Flair! #2 is Finlay! Thank you Jesus and Mr. McMahon! Lock up and a headlock by Finlay. Shoulder tackle and they stand off. To the corner and clubbing shots by Finlay. Chops by Flair now. Irish whip and a backdrop on Flair. Finlay picks up Flair, tries to toss Flair卐ye rake by Flair and rights to Finlay. Chops now and #3 is Kenny. He charges down and he and Flair go at it. Chops by Flair, Finlay nails Flair with a forearm. He lays the boots to Flair, Kenny does as well and Finlay tries to toss young Kenny. Flair over卆nd they stay in. They beat down Flair again and #4 is Matt Hardy. Right after Kenny with rights. Side effect to Kenny. Flair almost tosses Finlay, Kenny fights to stay in as well. Kenny slams Matt to the corner and gets shoulder rams. Matt goes after Finlay, probably because Finlay said he couldn't main event and tries to toss him. Chops by Flair on Kenny. #5 is Edge. He charges down and SPEAR on Flair! On Kenny! MISSES Matt. TWISTOF FATE by Matt! Matt and Kenny clothesline each other. Flair to the floor, under the ropes and gets CHAIRS! Kenny stops him and chops follow. Edge tosses Flair and he is gone. Kenny struts and Edge tosses him! #6 is Tommy Dreamer. He and Edge brawl. Sets Edge up top, tree of woe and gets a running dropkick. Finlay clotheslines him. Rights by Dreamer, Matt tries to toss Edge. Edge holds on and back in. #7 is Sabu. Sabu jogs down and gets a table out. Sets it on the floor, he may regret that. He and Dreamer brawl. Spring board卻omething to Dreamer. Clothesline by Dreamer. Edge tries to toss Finlay. Matt almost tossed Sabu, but failed. #8 is Gregory Helms. After Hardy right away. He lays the boots to him as Sabu and Finlay brawl, Finlay over the top but hangs on. Matt tossed to the apron卙angs on, Finlay tries to toss Sabu through the table but fails. #9 is Shelton Benjamin. Shelton in and attacks Matt. He tries to toss Dreamer but fails. Almost tosses Hardy but fails. Table still in play. Finlay almost tosses Shelton匨att over and tries to toss Finlay卋ut he holds on. Suplex try by Matt, Shelton fights and #10 is Kane!

Boot to Dreamer. Rights to about everyone. Side slam to Helms. GOOZLE and chokeslam to Edge. Tosses Dreamer. Tosses Sabu almost, GOOZLE匔HOKESLAM THROUGH THE TABLE and Sabu is dead. #11 is CM Punk. Charges after Edge, Finlay lays the boots to him and they brawl. Finlay almost tosses him and then boots him again. Running knee of doom by Punk to Edge. Head butts by Finlay to Punk. #12 is King BOOKAH~! Booker tosses Helms. Rights to Punk. Slams him to the corner. Finlay tries to toss Kane, Booker and Shelton double team Punk. #13 is Super Crazy. Hits the ring, after Booker and Kane then nails him. Elbows by Kane to Crazy. Rights to Punk. Finlay tries to toss Booker, but Booker fights him off. #14 is Jeff Hardy. Charges down and right after Finlay. He and Matt double-team him. Double suplex on Finlay. After Edge now and they work him over. Double back suplex on Crazy. They go after Kane, poetry in motion. #15 is SANDMAN~! He is in the crowd and if he is smart he will take his time. In with the cane and NAILS Jeff, Matt, Crazy, but BOOKAH tosses Sandman! Bushwacker award! Jeff skins the cat, and Finlay works him over as #16 Randy Orton is in. RKO tosses Crazy. RKO then tosses Jeff and Matt. They work over Punk and Shelton now. Finlay and Booker go after Kane. #17 is Chris Benoit. Right after Finlay. Then Orton. Chops for all. GERMAN on Finlay! Punk is barely hanging on and Shelton works him over. GERMAN on Booker! GERMAN on Shelton! Finlay tries to toss him, Benoit fights him off. #18 is R匳匘. Kicks for all. After Kane and then Kane tosses Bookah! Back in, sidekick to Kane! Scissors kick to Kane! He tosses Kane now! Booker slams Kane into the steel steps. #19 is Viscera. Booker continues to beat down Kane. They are finally separated. Viscera tries to toss Edge, Orton looks but waits to help. RVD and Finlay brawl now. Kicks by RVD to Finlay now.

#20 is Johnny Nitro. He grabs RVD and almost tosses him. Dropkick by RVD. Viscera works over Punk as Finlay and RVD brawl again. #21 is Kevin Thorn. He goes after Benoit to begin. Viscera snags up RVD and tries to toss him, Nitro over and RVD kicks Nitro into Viscera, tries to clothesline out Viscera, fails. Clothesline by Viscera. 30:00 in and Finlay is still there. #22 is Hardcore Holly. Stiff rights for all. Almost tosses Nitro. Right to Viscera, but he gets beat down. Shelton catapults RVD, but he hangs on. Thorn after him, and a few guys attack Viscera. #23 is HBK! Everyone is trying to toss Viscera. HBK and Finlay go at it, THESZ PRESS on Finlay! Rights and a clothesline and Finlay is gone after 32:00! SUPER KICK to Viscera! They all go after him again卆nd Viscera is gone! HH and HBK go at it, HBK tosses Shelton! Chops to HH by HBK. #24 is Chris Masters. After Benoit to start. Edge attacks HBK. Nitro up to the 2nd rope, but Benoit tosses him out! Lots of random brawling, #25 is Chavo Guerrero. Chavo in, after Masters and Thorn has been tossed. HH after Benoit as HBK works over Orton. Punk and RVD battle as Masters beats down Chavo. #26 is MVP. He goes after Benoit. Chops by Benoit as HBK holds MVP. RVD dropkicks Masters who was too far away from the ropes and jumps over like a goof. Chavo after HH as Punk hangs on for dear life. Orton works over Punk and #27 is Carlito. Charges down and attacks Benoit. These guys all have the same game plan. HBK almost tossed, but hangs on. Chavo and RVD try to kick him out, but HH nails RVD and HBK is safe. #28 is Khali. Everyone stops and waits on Khali. Edge attacks and gets tossed away. Head butts for all. JUDO CHOP to Orton! JUDO CHOP to HBK! JUDO CHOP TO MVP! Benoit attacks and #29 is Miz as Khali tosses Holly. Khali tosses Miz, BUSHWACKER #@ AWARD! Khali tosses RVD and then Punk. Khali tosses Carlito and then Chavo. MVP, HBK, Edge, Orton and Khali left and the only man left is #3o, the Undertaker. HBK battles Khali卌hoke by Khali匱REE SLAM on HBK!

#30 is the Undertaker. Undertaker and Khali stand off, rights by Undertaker. JUDO CHOP but NO SELL BY Undertaker! Rights to Khali again. Undertaker is still nailing him and a clothesline BARELY takes Khali out. Undertaker cleans house and goes for new school on MVP. Connects. Undertaker tosses MVP,. Clothesline on Edge by Undertaker. MVP has a chair, Undertaker almost tosses Edge. Orton KILLS Undertaker with a chair shot! Edge ALMOST spears Orton, but he sees him and they argue! RKO on HBK by Orton. HBK rolls to the floor as Orton and Edge argue. They then double team Undertaker, who is busted open. Undertaker fights back with rights. Corner clotheslines to Orton and Edge. GOOZLE on Orton卆nd Edge卼hey boot him and off the ropes卍ual clothesline by Undertaker. Irish whip to Edge, snake eyes follows. BIG BOOT to Edge. GOOZLE TO ORTON匰PEAR on Undertaker by Edge! Edge grabs the chair卆nd KILLS Undertaker again! Orton has the chair now and Edge rolls to the floor to grab another chair. They want the conchairto. HBK is slowly crawling into the ring卆nd HBK tosses Orton and then Edge!

It is down to HBK and Undertaker! They are both down Undertaker sit up! HBK KIP UP~! They stare down and Undertaker takes the straps down! HBK with rights, Undertaker tosses him off. More corner punches and Undertaker tosses him off. GOOZLE and a toss into the corner. BIG shot by Undertaker and HBK almost out卋ut he fights back with rights and an eye poke by HBK. Chops by HBK. He keeps ducking Undertaker rights and lefts. Irish whip, reversal and HBK does the corner flip, on the apron and Undertaker with right. Charges匨ISSES the big boot and falls to the apron. HBK charges卹ight to Undertaker and he hangs on. Charges again and a BIG elbow by Undertaker! Back into the ring and a neck breaker by HBK. They exchange rights mid-ring. HBK off the ropes, BIG BOOT by Undertaker! Undertaker staggers around and stalks HBK. Picks him up, suplex try卆nd HBK to the apron. HBK holds on and they exchange shots again and Undertaker slammed to the corner. HBK up top匓IG uppercut by Undertaker. HBK holds on and Undertaker up top with him. They battle and Undertaker with head butts. Rights by HBK Undertaker looks to the floor卼hey continue to brawl卹ights by HBK and Undertaker is down! TOP ROPE ELBOW CONNECTS! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS HIM! HBK tunes up the Christian Rock Band匲ndertaker to his feet, and catches the leg匓IG CHOKESLAM by Undertaker! Cut throat by Undertaker. Grabs HBK, tombstone try匟BK slips out and a SUPER FN KICK CONNECTS~! Both men are down. They battle to get to their feet and HBK is up匰UPER KICK misses and Undertaker grabs him and TOSSES him to the floor!

Winner: The Undertaker @ 56:21

-Taker makes eye contact with HBK and gives a respectful nod.

-Taker celebrates to some fireworks.

Remember to send your thoughts on the show for the 3R's!

If you would, include:
-The Match of the Night
-The Trash of the Night
-Score the show from 1-10
-And include any "overall thoughts" on the show.

(Thanks to Larry Csonka and 411mania.com for usage of this review)