Larry Csonka is one of the hardest working IWC columnists on the World Wide Web. He's currently the Co-Wrestling Editor for 411mania.com, my favorite wrestling news site, and regularly reviews television shows & pay-per-views from WWE and TNA, among others. I'm honored to report that Mr. Csonka has agreed to allow his PPV reviews to be displayed here at the Rollercoaster, to help continue to catalogue the history of professional wrestling. For more great reviews and columns, be sure to visit the site. You won't be disappointed.
411’s WWE One Night Stand Report 6.01.08|
Posted by Larry Csonka on 06.01.2008
HHH retains the WWE Title, Batista brutalizes HBK and Edge wins the World Title and ends the legend that was the Undertaker.
Remember to send your thoughts on the show: a score from 1-10, match of the night and trash of the night!
~WWE ONE NIGHT STAND IV~
-JR and the King welcome us.
-They have some wacky road construction stuff as the set.
Falls Count Anywhere Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
Jeff charges in and eats an elbow. Whipped to the corner and he hits hard and falls to the mat. Umaga tosses Jeff to the corner again, but Jeff gets the whisper in the wind for 2. Jeff flies in with a 2nd rope cross body, caught and Umaga gets the swinging uranage/catatonic and covers for 2. Umaga charges, Jeff pulls down the ropes and the big man crashes to the floor. A plancha by Jeff connects, he covers Umaga for 2. They brawl into the crowd and back into the construction area. Umaga no sells a barrel toss and kicks Jeff in the face, cover for 2. Rights by Umaga, but he then misses the Samoan Clambake against a giant box. Jeff fails at using the fire extinguisher on the first two times, but finally gets it and sprays Umaga all the way backstage. Umaga breaks a wooden chair trying to kill Jeff, but missed. They go to the steps and Jeff does the old school banister slide (pretend you're 6) and clotheslines Umaga and covers for 2. They now brawl into a merchandize area and Umaga slams Jeff into a trashcan. They brawl past the ATM and now they brawl outside. Umaga slams Jeff into an equipment case. He then slams Jeff into a trailer, more rights follow and Umaga maintains control. Jeff fights back, slams Umaga to the door of the trailer and covers for 2. They now climb a ladder of a truck and Jeff kicks Umaga off. Jeff up top, SWANTON by Jeff, it was blocked where you would see the impact, but we now see Jeff covering for the win. I spot me a crash pad in the background. Creative camera work there I will say.
Winner: Jeff Hardy @ 9:27 via pin
-Earlier today Mick Foley explains the rules of the stretcher match.
-Shawn Merriman from the Chargers is in attendance.
Singapore Cane ON FOUR POLES Match: Tommy Dreamer vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Chavo Guerrero w/Bam Neeley vs. The Big Show (To crown a #1 Contender for the ECW Title)
IT IS A POLE MATCH! Four poles with canes, this is a Vince Russo wet dream come true! Hey Dreamer, white is NOT slimming buddy.
Big Show is WAY too happy coming to the ring. Like he knows something, or he just saw Dreamer's tights. I don't know. Everyone attacks Show, Morrison tried for a can but Show fights everyone off. Head butt to Dreamer, slams Chavo down and then Morrison. He elbow drops both of them and slams Dreamer down. Punk with kicks, Morrison as well and they work Show to the mat. DDT by Dreamer on Show, Chavo up top and FROG SPLASH to Show! Everyone but Show has a cane, and they all attack! Show battles back, Punk and Dreamer clothesline him to the floor. This allows Chavo and Morrison to beat them down with the canes. Punk and Chavo to the floor, they brawl by the announce tables, Punk moves and Chavo HITS SHAWN MERRIMAN from the Chargers! Punk then gives Merriman the cane and he LEVELS Chavo! He and Punk hug and Punk goes back to the ring. Show and Morrison brawl on the floor, the Miz is out and attacks Show. Show tosses him down, grabs the steps but Morrison trips him and he falls onto the steps he was holding. Chavo and Punk in, snap slam by Punk for 2. Dreamer and Morrison in, Pump handle with the cane on Morrison! DREAMER chants now! Punk in, GTS countered and Dreamer gets the cloverleaf! Cane shot by Morrison to stop that, Show is busted open BADLY from the steps. A big gash. Chavo tosses Morrison off of the top rope, Punk runs up, slips, gets up, Morrison over and the TOWER OF DOOM wipes Dreamer out. Show is up and PISSED OFF! He takes out Bam, cane shots to him and Miz. He destroys a cane! Gets another, nails Morrison as he flies to the floor! There is a trashcan of canes and Show brings them into the ring! Show starts killing everyone! Dreamer up, has a cane and attacks, caught and Show chokeslams him. Show grabs Dreamer, who is the only one left in the ring, to the corner and gets a cane. Kills Dreamer again with a cane shot, stands on him with one foot and that is all.
Winner: The Big Show @ 8:35 via pin
-JR and the King discuss the million dollars, and we head backstage to Todd Grisham and Vince McMahon. Vince says everyone is excited and asking about the money. He says it is real, he promises. It is McMahon's Million Dollar Mania. He says details will be given out on Raw tomorrow. Ron Simmons arrives…DAMN.
First Blood Match: JBL vs. John Cena
JBL starts to undo a turnbuckle at the bell. Cena rips one off as well. Cena calls him on and they start to throw punches. Boots by JBL, rights as well. Off the ropes and a clothesline by Cena. To the floor they go, slams JBL to the announce table, back in the ring and more rights by Cena. JBL tosses Cena to the floor, elbow drops and rights follow. Back in the ring we go, to the corner and Cena battles back but eats a back elbow. Cena on the apron, rights by JBL and Cena is rocked. A boot by JBL, another and Cena falls to the floor. To the steel barriers on the ramp now and JBL tries to grind Cena's face on it, ouch. Cena fires back with rights, eye poke by JBL and then another boot levels Cena. JBL gets a chair, has Cena against the ring post and misses as Cena gets away. Rights by Cena, but JBL hits him with something he found ringside. It was a mic. More mic shots by JBL, JBL talks shit and Cena battles back. Shoulder blocks by Cena, proto bomb as well. 5-knuckle shuffle by Cena. FU countered and JBL stun guns Cena off of the ropes. To the floor now, clubbing shots by JBL and then tosses Cena to the post. JBL now gets the steps, misses and then slams Cena to the barrier. He rips off the padding and slams Cena onto it. To the steps, DDT countered by Cena and JBL hits back first. Cena gets a mi c and lays out JBL with it. Cena grinds JBL's face on the steps, but no blood. Cena has a chair now, in the ring but JBL goes low. Tosses Cena to the exposed buckle and Cena hits hard. JBL thinks he won, but no blood. Clothesline from hell countered and Cena bulldogs JBL onto a chair. JBL gets a chain from his towel, nails Cena in the gut and he is down. JBL wraps it around his first, misses, FU by Cena! Cena clutches his ribs as both men work to their feet. Big boot by JBL and Cena is caught in the ropes Andre style! JBL goes under the ring and has a whip? Yeah, a whip. Cena kicks him low, escapes and gets the chain. STFU with the chain applied! JBL is busted in the mouth and that is all.
Winner: John Cena @ 14:30 via first blood
-Big Dave meditates backstage. Orton appears and says HBK deserves what he gets. They discuss Evolution, and say that they are on top and can take out HBK and HHH all in one night. Orton brings up the draft, and says they should get the band back together, a new band. They would be the leaders, and bigger and better than DX ever was. Dave stares him down and walks away.
-One of the paparazzi fell on the ramp, hahaha!
I Quit Match: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix
They talk trash, a shove and boot by Melina. Beth gets a bear hug right away but Melina gets a guillotine. Beth powers her off, cross body by Melina caught, and a back breaker by Beth. A side back breaker now by Beth, bends her over her knee but Melina kicks away at her and escapes. Beth tosses her down, whops her to a corner, a clothesline and then forearms to the back by Beth. Melina battles back, to the 2nd rope and gets a face buster on Beth. She locks in the Muta Lock. Beth now drags herself to the ropes to break the hold as they fall to the floor. Back in they go, but Beth slams her to the corner, sets her up top and pulls her off, I think she was supposed to get caught but Melina fell out. Canadian back breaker by Beth, Melina fights but gets slammed to the mat. Beth into the arm bar now, and then slams her down. She gets a neck crank and then slams Melina down by the hair. Melina fights back, to the corner and Beth catches her, but Melina slams Beth to the corner. She then kicks her to the steel post. Melina works the arm in the ropes, single arm DDT by Melina. Beth fights back, but Melina gets a tilt a whirl into an arm bar submission. Nice. Beth fights to escape, presses up and Melina transitions into a cross arm breaker. Beth to her feet, powers Melina up and powerbombs her down. That folded her inside out. Beth now gets an implant buster and into the double chicken wing. Melina is refusing to quit, and Beth now bends her in half with the arm locked in front of Melina, and she quits.
Winner: Beth Phoenix @ 9:14 via making the other quit
-Mickie meets with John backstage, and gets the doctor to leave for some private time. They talk girl on girl submission, wanting to practice it, and Adamle walks out of the bathroom and stinks up the joint. Adamle has plans and say he and Gemini from Gladiators are going out tonight, but he is staying here with Mickie. Adamle gives Cena some of JBL's MAMAJUANA drink. He leaves, they discuss submissions some more. Sexual Innuendo!
-The fans picked HBK to win the stretcher match via text message with 59%.
-We get a video package for HBK vs. Big Dave.
Stretcher Match: HBK vs. Batista
HBK flies onto Batista, but gets tossed off. Clothesline by Batista that didn't look good and almost killed HBK follows, and then tosses HBK to the floor. Batista presses HBK onto the stretcher, but HBK battles back and whips Batista into the steps. HBK then tosses Batista into the post, slams the back of his head off of it and then gets an Enziguri. HBK gets the steps separated, rights to Batista and then slams the stretcher into the chest of Batista. He then slams the stretcher to the head of Batista, picks him up and puts him on the stretcher. Batista fights back, knees to HBK and then a boot. Batista bomb try, but HBK gets a guillotine. Batista slams him to the ring apron, to the stretcher and HBK still has the hold and Batista appears to be out. He lays him on the stretcher and tries to wheel it to the "finish line." Batista kicks away at HBK and stops that. Batista whips HBK to the steel post HARD and HBK bounced off of it. Batista with a spinebuster to the ring apron and then to the barrier. Back in the ring, clothesline by Batista and HBK flip sells nicely. Irish whip, corner clothesline by Batista and HBK is down. HBK sidesteps a spear and Batista hits the post. Off the ropes, flying forearm by HBK. Kip up, up top and ELBOW drop connects! He tunes up the Christian rock band, but runs into a clothesline. Batista bomb (which was headed to the floor) countered, a SUPERKICK by HBK, and Batista falls out of the ring onto a stretcher. HBK tries to drag the stretcher, Batista holds onto the apron and HBK breaks that. He pulls the stretcher and Batista falls off. They battle, knees by Batista but HBK slams the stretcher into the gut of Batista. He does it again, tries another but Batista grabs the stretcher and catapults it into the face of HBK and then slams it into his face with a bit of a charge. Back into the ring, Batista sets…SPEAR to HBK! Batista bomb connects! Batista drags HBK to the floor and a stretcher. Chris Jericho is out and talks to HBK, telling him he has heart and to fight back. A ref tries to remove Jericho, he does and Batista rolls HBK back into the ring. HBK crawls towards Batista, pulls himself up and gets a very weak superkick and falls flat on his face. Batista picks him up and says, "Just so you know, I don't love you and I am not sorry!" BATISTA BOMB AGAIN! Batista gets him on a stretcher, wheels him, Jericho is back and stops Batista! He tells HBK to show Batista what he has but HBK just falls off of the stretcher. Batista now goes back ringside and gets part of the steps. He grabs HBK and spinebusters him onto the steps. He puts him on the stretcher and pushes him past the line and wins.
Winner: Batista @ 17:00 via stretcher job
-SUPER SPECIAL RING ANNOUNCING~!
WWE Title Last Man Standing Match: HHH © vs. Randy Orton
They circle a bit, a boot by Orton and then tosses HHH to the floor. He follows and they brawl ringside, HHH reverses a whip and sends Orton to the steps. Rights by HHH, he has control and slams Orton to the announce table. Back in the ring and HHH lays the boots to Orton. HHH fishhooks Orton and then slams him to the steel post. Lots of rights by HHH and a knee drop to the back of the head follows. Off the ropes, a reversal and a dropkick by Orton. HHH comes back and tosses Orton to the floor, follows and takes apart the ECW announce table. HHH beats on Orton on the table, goes for a pedigree but Orton counters, almost had an RKO but he battles back and drags HHH off of the table for a hangman's DDT. That had to suck. The ref counts on HHH, and pulls himself up at 9. Orton unloads with rights, and now decides to pull the pads off of the floor. THAT'S CEMENT BAH GAWD! Orton goes for an RKO, but HHH slams him into the post. HHH rolls into the ring, Orton in as well and clotheslines HHH in the back of the head. Garvin stomp now, to the floor and gets the steps. He tosses them in, and then grabs them and slams them into the head of HHH. The ref counts, Orton looks for toys under the ring, gets an extension cord, but HHH battles back. Orton is able to get the choke with the cable though, gets HHH down and backs off to let the ref count. Orton is stalking HHH as the ref counts, but the RKO try is countered as HHH tosses him to the floor, and Orton did NOT land well. HHH to the floor and slams Orton to the barrier. Orton is holding his collarbone, it sounded like he told the ref he broke it, so either he is selling big time or he really hurt himself. HHH gets the sledgehammer, and nails Orton with it. The ref counts, HHH celebrates in the ring and that is all.
I will call he got hurt there, as it looked as if they rushed to get to an ending. That fall didn't look good at all though. Yeah, agents and refs are down to check on Orton, lets hope for the best.
Winner: HHH @ 13:15
-They have the stretcher out for Orton now and a lot of people checking on him. Big props for Orton gutting through a finish there, yes, from the look of it he broke the collarbone, you can see the indentation. People are talking shit to him and he is giving it right back. This would not be the time to fuck with this man. He walks out on his own power and doesn't look happy at all, it has to hurt like a bitch right now.
-I went back and when he landed he yelled, "I broke my (fucking) collarbone." Either that or he can do a great party trick making the bone look all nasty and shit.
-SUPER SPECIAL RING ANNOUNCING~!
Vacant World Title Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match (If the Undertaker Loses he is Banished from the WWE): The Undertaker vs. Edge
And so it begins with a big boot by Taker. Rights and head butts in the corner to Edge, an Irish whip and clothesline by Taker. Rights and head butts again by Taker, and now chokes out Edge in the corner. Old school connects early for Taker, a big boot and Taker goes for a ladder. As he gets it, Edge dropkicks it into his face. Edge sets up some tables on the floor and stacks them. Taker them slams Edge in the face with a ladder shot two times and follow sit up with boots. They brawl around ringside, Taker sets up some more tables, beside the stacked ones Edge set up. Drop toeholds Taker into the steps, goes for a ladder and begins to climb. Taker back in and pulls Edge off. Taker sets a ladder in the corner, sticking into the ring, not laid there, but gets slammed into it by Edge. Edge sets another ladder the same way in the opposite corner, but he gets whipped into it. That had to suck. Taker gets another ladder, sets it up and looks to climb. He does, Edge climbs as well and they brawl, and Taker tosses Edge off onto one of the ladders, he falls back, knocks over the ladder and Taker falls onto the other ladder. Both men work to their feet, Edge gets a ladder and as he lays it across the top rope, Taker snags him up and gets snake eyes. He then kicks the ladder into the chest of Edge, and he falls to the floor. Taker follows and lays out Edge with some chair shots.
About 10-minutes in now and Taker tosses Edge onto the apron, boot to the head, to the apron and Taker goes for the apron leg drop, but Edge crotches him with the chair! Edge gets another chair shot, and then lays a big ass ladder from the apron to the barrier. Taker fights back, but Edge gets a LOW BLOW, the great equalizer. Jesus Edge just killed Taker with a baseball bat swing of the chair! Taker up and Edge nails him AGAIN! Edge lays Taker in a table, set up in front of the Smackdown announce table and then splashes off of the SD table with a splash! Edge in with a ladder, starts to climb but Taker is back up and in. Edge tossed off, lands on his feet and SPEARS Taker! Edge places Taker's leg in the ladder and nails it three times with chair shots. Edge now gets the BIG ASS™ ladder and sets it up. He gets a chair and nails Taker two times and he is down. Edge gets another chair, goes for a conchairto but Taker punches him in the balls. Taker MANS UP and gets to his feet, to the apron with Edge and goozles him…CHOKESLAM ONTO THE LADDER that was previously set up! Taker collapses and he now tries to get to the ladder and climb. The RMY is out now to stop him. They beat him down, and bring a table into the ring. They get another and beat on Taker more. They lay Taker on a table, put another table on top of him and Hawkins goes up top. Taker fights back and TOSSES HAWKINS THROUGH A TABLE ON THE FLOOR HEAD FIRST! CHOKESLAM TO RYDER THROUGH ANOTHER TABLE ON THE FLOOR! Edge is back in, and SPEARS Taker off of the apron to the barrier. Edge stacks tables in the corner, Taker is alive and Edge climbs the ladder. Taker's back in and goes up, grabs Edge…LAST RIDE THROUGH THE STACKED TABLES!
We are 20-minutes in now and Taker climbs. Bam Neeley and Chavo are in and they attack Taker. Conchairto fails, Taker has a chair and LEVELS Neeley and Chavo! They are out and Taker climbs yet again. Edge is up and pushes the ladder over and TAKER GOES THROUGH THE FOUR STACKED TABLES ON THE FLOOR! Edge now climbs the ladder as Taker is in the debris of the tables on the floor. Edge makes it up and grabs the title, winning the match and BANISHING the Undertaker!
Winner and NEW CHAMPION EDGE @ 23:50
-La Familia celebrates and Vickie WALKS out, she is HEALED! They hug and all leave.
-We see Taker laying on the floor, and he tries to pull himself up. He cut up his arm on the fall there as he is bleeding. He sits up and rolls to his knees, and then to his feet and starts to limp to the back as the lights drop down. He pauses at the top of the ramp, looks back to the crowd, who is cheering, gives a slight nod as he looks emotional for him, and then walks to the back…
Remember to send your thoughts on the show. Include the MATCH and TRASH of the night, and score the PPV from 1-10!