Larry Csonka is one of the hardest working IWC columnists on the World Wide Web. He's currently the Co-Wrestling Editor for 411mania.com, my favorite wrestling news site, and regularly reviews television shows & pay-per-views from WWE and TNA, among others. I'm honored to report that Mr. Csonka has agreed to allow his PPV reviews to be displayed here at the Rollercoaster, to help continue to catalogue the history of professional wrestling. For more great reviews and columns, be sure to visit the site. You won't be disappointed.
411’s WWE Backlash Report 4.30.06|
Posted by Larry Csonka on 04.30.2006
HHH stands tall at Backlash…but is it with the title?
Feel free to send your thoughts on the show to me. Thumbs up, down, middle. Best and worst match and thoughts.
We get the normal PPV hype from the crew.
Goldust faced Rob Conway on HEAT. Rob Conway is following the Wellness plan. Goldust won with the short powerslam in about 5-minutes. Fun little match, one of Conway's better efforts as of recent, Goldy is still a fun worker when motivated.
A great video package highlighting the triple threat WWE Title feud closes the pre-show.
We first get an evil Vince video package, followed by the PPV opening video.
Jim Ross is back for the PPV with Lawler.
Chris Masters vs. Carlito
They jaw for a bit and Carlito slaps Masters and it is on. Carlito gets a basement dropkick after Masters attack and then some rights. They exchange rights and then Masters backdrops Carlito for 2. JR and King make GOD jokes as Carlito boots Masters, and gets a Masterlock of his own! Masters escapes and they jaw. Carlito dumps Masters ad then gets a sweet slingshot plancha. Back in, crowd is hot so far and Carlito with rights. Irish whip, elbow to Masters but he gets a powerbomb into the corner on Carlito for 2. Crowd all over Masters as he is in control. Leg drop by Masters for 2. Neck vice now by Masters. Carlito battles back and ff the ropes…and eats an elbow from Masters for 2. Masters with a neck breaker for 2. Eye rake by Carlito, but Masters with a clothesline and rights. Snake eyes by Masters. He calls for the Masterlock…Carlito escapes and gets a roll up for 2. Off the ropes and a springboard elbow by Carlito. Boot to Masters, Carlito gets he apple…tosses it up and then nails Masters. Rights to Masters and a clothesline by Carlito. Another and then a dropkick to Masters for 2. Masters clubs away at Carlito, sets him up top…follows and gets knocked off. MOONSAULT BY CARLITO gets 2. Masterlock try…but Carlito sends him to the corner…LUNG BLOWER! Carlito gets the feet on the ropes and wins!
Winner: Carlito via pin @ 10:00
Maria is with fans telling who will win the WWE Title match. Kids love Cena. Lita joins her and flicks her. She doesn't care what the fans think. The fans call her a ho and she kept her mouth shut. Maria says she heard Lita likes to keep her mouth wide open. She says that we can laugh all we want, but Edge will win. They won't have a live sex celebration, they will have a private one. Unlike these people she gets some.
Armando, Alehandro, Estrada is in the ring.
Umaga w/Armando vs. Ric Flair
They start on the floor and brawl. Into the ring and here we go. Umaga beats down Ric, but an eye poke and low blow even things up! Rights to Umaga and then chops. LOW BLOW again! Umaga chops him down and he tosses Ric to the corner. Umaga misses the running ass ram and Ric rolls to the floor. Chops by Ric and Umaga with some of his own. Umaga misses a charge and nails the steps. Back in the ring, chop block by Ric. Figure four try, shoved off and Umaga with a tree of woe on Ric. Diving head butt to Ric. Running ass ram connects this time. 2nd rope head butt by Umaga. SPIKE TIME! Nails it and then covers for the win?
Winner: Umaga via pin @ 3:00
Vince and Shane talks about beating God. He is insane. He spills water on the floor and walks on it. Clever. Now he has fish and bread, wow this is bad. Shane is like…ok. Now a bunch of bread and fish fly back on screen. Lawler and JR are speechless.
Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James ©
They lock up and Mickie with an arm bar. Takes Trish down, reversal by Trish and a cover for 2. They stare down, Matrish and a head scissors by Trish. Off the ropes and a clothesline by Trish. Dropkick and Trish stalks her…misses the kick and then connects with another and Mickie to the floor. Thez pres off the apron by Trish. Back in and a cover for 2 by Trish. Corner splash by Trish. Corner mount…punches, but Mickie dumps her to the floor. Boots by Mickie as she comes back in, cover for 2. Another cover for 2. The ref checks Trish's arm as Mickie targets it after the fall. Choke with the boot by Mickie now. She chokes Trish with the broken necklace and the ref DQ's her.
Winner: Trish via DQ @4:25
Trish is pissed.
Maria is back being Maria. She is with HBK now. She asks if God will show up tonight. He tries not to bible thump and God is always with me. He will call it what it is, a handicap match. 2 on 1. He knows Vince can't hang with him, so he had to get Shane to help. The results will be the same, and when he is done, maybe Vince will be calling out to God. If not he has 2 words for Vince…SUCK IT.
MITB/IC Match: Shelton Benjamin © vs. RVD (MITB)
They talk smack to begin and lock up. Shelton takes it to the mat and they stand off. Writ lock by v, RVD kips up and gets a wrist lock of his own. Kicks to Shelton's arm, Shelton springs off the ropes and escapes. They stand off and jaw at each other. Test of strength, but they back off. Knee y v, off he ropes and takes RVD down. Reversals now and a roll up by RVD with the legs for 2. Ricky Steamboat like arm drags and Shelton begs off. Lock up and to the corner they go…clean break. Shelton nails RVD with rights, off the ropes and a high kick by RVD ad Shelton goes to the floor. Shelton back with rights to RVD, forearms and off the ropes…counters and RVD with clotheslines. Slam and rolling thunder…stops as Shelton goes to the floor. PlANCHA by RVD! Back into the ring, knees by Shelton and sunset flip POWERBOMB to RVD onto the floor! Back into the ring and Shelton covers for 2. Shelton works the back now. JJ like back deal on he ropes by Shelton. Rear neck vice by Shelton now. RVD gets to his feet, escapes and Shelton nails him down again. Shelton chokes RVD on the ropes now, running knee by Shelton. Back in and a cover for 2. Shelton picks up RVD and gets a side back breaker. Knees and rights to RVD, camel clutch variation…HUMBLE him~! Boots by Shelton after the break, then a slam. Another and back to the rear neck vice. RVD battle out, escapes and gets a back elbow. ROLLING THUNDER COUNTERED INTO A SAMOAN DROP for 2! Shelton sets RVD up top…rights by Shelton now. Shelton up with him…RVD knocks him off but SHELTON LEAPS TO THE TOP AND GETS A SUPERPLEX for 2. Rear choke with a body scissors by Shelton now. RVD battles…to his feet and escapes. Off the ropes and Shelton misses a dropkick! To the corner and RVD tosses Shelton down. RVD in the corner, Shelton charges and misses the splash. Clotheslines by RVD. Irish whip…elbow by RVD and a springboard spin kick to Shelton. Leg lariat now. ROLLING THUNDER! Cover 1…2…NO! Slam by RVD…split legged moonsault! 1…2…NO! Shoulder blocks by RVD, monkey flip and Shelton to his feet. Spin kick by RVD. Up top…FROG SPLASH MISSES! SPIKE DDT by Shelton! Covers 1…2…NO! Cover for 2 by Shelton. RVD to the floor and Shelton to the floor as well. Drop toehold by RVD into the barrier. RVD back in the ring, Shelton grabs the briefcase now. RVD to the floor and a superkick by Shelton. Back in and Shelton up top…cross body, RVD rolls through and gets 2! Shelton misses the leg lariat…RANA by RVD! Ref bump… Shelton misses with the case…VAN DAMINATOR! RVD up top…FROG SPLASH! 1…2…3.
Winner: and NEW IC CHAMPION RVD via pin @ 19:00
Kane/Big Show video package runs.
Big Show with eye taped up is with Todd. Show says he did movies and he didn't go crazy. We all have problems. He doesn't know the deal with May 19th, but Kane crossed the line. Tonight, it's an eye for an eye.
Lillian is afraid to announce Kane. I shall console her.
Kane vs. The Big Show
They club each other but Show press slams Kane! Chops by Show in the corner. Boot by Kane, but Show starts to work the arm. He picks him up and slams him down by the arm. To the floor and they brawl. On the apron and Show is rammed to the post. Back in the ring now and Kane boots away at Show. Kane works the arm of Show now. In the corner and Kane toes his arm up and then gets a corner clothesline. Another clothesline takes him down and Kane covers for. Wrist lock by Show, slam and misses an elbow drop. He stomps the arm of Show and then a variation on a stump puller. Arm bar now as things are slow. Show battles to his feet, head butts by Show and GOOZLE. Kane escapes by nailing the arm and gets a top wrist lock. Show escapes but Kane goes up top…Show catches him and gets the fall away slam. Clotheslines and Show gets the corner splash. GOOZLE…but Kane counters into a SLOPPY DDT and gets 2. Rights by Kane, boot by Show and a leg drop gets 2. Powerslam by Show for 2. Show tries to poke Kane's eye out…but Kane rakes his eyes. Boot by Kane and Show falls to the floor. Oh God, red lights and we hear Kane's voices. Kane goes crazy and Show is in…he tries to be nice and check on him and then rolls out. Show gets a chair, and nails Kane. Show is upset, awwww. He leaves and that is it?
Winner: Um…No Contest @ 10:00
Kane sits up and looks mad and crazy.
Candace and Vince in the back, she wants healed. It's a chest cold and she wants him to grab her chest. She is healed apparently. Kill me now.
According to WWE doctors at the Rupp Arena in Lexington, KY, Trish Stratus dislocated her right shoulder during her match with Women's Champion Mickie James. Doctors managed to put the shoulder back in place. An MRI has been scheduled.
Vince/Shane/HBK/God video runs.
Vince on the mic…he is announcing God. "The holly roller, hipster from heaven, man upstairs…from the kingdom of heaven…God."
We get angelic music and lighting. A spotlight follows nothing to the ring. Vince says they will do things his way. He mocks the entrance and says to do the entrance WWE style. Funky music and Vince dancing ensues. God is, "In the ring" and Vince wants the ref to "check God." Vince then says to bring it. Vince says there is no DQ or count out so God can bring it. I feel so dirty. HBK comes out thankfully. Vince says that he knows that HBK hasn't been there but HBK and God will go to hell.
Shane and Vince vs. HBK and…God
BRAWL to begin. HBK backdrops Shane and then a PLANCHA to Vince. Back in and he works on Shane. Clothesline takes Shane to the floor. Suicide senton to Shane! HBK and Shane brawl up the ramp. Knees by Shane, jabs and HBK is down. Vince is back up there and HBK dispatches him. HBK kills Shane with a toss into the set and HBK gets a cross body to Vince and they fly off the stage! Vince is dead, he'll probably resurrect himself. HBK climbs back onto the stage and Shane KILLS him with a chair shot. Shane checks on Vince and Vince is moving as HBK is busted WIDE OPEN! Shane beats HBK down the ramp. Big blade job by HBK here. Shane rams him to the post. Jabs ad rights by Shane. Arm drag by Shane takes HBK into the barrier. In the ring and Shane keeps control. Back suplex by Shane, goes up top…Vince is on the apron… Shane MISSES a top rope elbow! They exchange rights and chops. Tornado DDT by Shane takes HBK down. Vince tags in and has his belt and whips HBK. Vince punches him with the belt wrapped around his hand repeatedly. Shane goes and finds a trashcan. Vince has it and nails HBK with it. Vince gets a mic and yells at "God." He challenges God and makes it out as if God is leaving. Wow this is so bad. Vince says HBK is still here and tries a superkick, blocked and HBK battles back. Nails Shane, forearm…kip up after a bit and Shane MISSES HBK and nails VINCE with a chair. HBK beats down Shane. Kip up and rights to Shane. Slam. HBK up top…flying elbow to Shane. Tunes it up…superkick to Shane. Crotch chop. HBK goes and gets a table. Into the ring it goes. He gets another. Into the ring it goes. HBK sets them up as the crowd chants for ladders as well. He puts Shane on table one, tosses Vince back in and puts him on a table. HBK goes for the big Jeff Hardy approved ladder after playing to the crowd. Sets it up…goes up top…Chioda is on the ladder and HBK DIVES TO THE FLOOR ONTO THE SPIRIT SQUAD that ran down! HBK back up and brawls with the SS. They beat him down on the floor now. HBK is down and they tend to Shane and Vince. They set a table up and move the ladder. HBK rolled into the ring and they do the toss on him through the table. They help Vince cover the ref counts 3 as JR says, "That's bullshit." Yes indeed JR, yes indeed.
Winner: Vince and Shane via pin @ about 20:00
The SS puts Vince and Shane on their shoulders and celebrate.
Todd is with John Cena. He gets booed. He smiles as Todd talks. Cena says good job watching the shows. Cena says tonight he doesn't have to get pinned to lose his title. He has seen and heard about everything. The fans are divided. He mocks Edge to boos. They cheer HHH's mention. He says the time is now and tonight, through it all one voice will stand tall when the bell tolls. And that's Lillian. When she announces your winner and WWE champion, John Cena.
Matt Striker comes out now. His class room is all set up and he says that he wasn't supposed to be here, but there is something accruing. A miracle. There is an intelligent person here in Kentucky. They are famous for KFC and illegally recruited basket ball players. He has good news for "y'all." He will be their teacher. As an added bonus I have found one of the smartest people from Kentucky. Eugene. Kill me. He mocks Eugene and says he will make an example out of him. He may be the smartest form Kentucky. He wants Eugene to spell his name for us. Eugene wrote "Loves poop" under Striker's name. They chant you love poop. I used to love life. Striker is pissed and Eugene picks his nose. Whoa he got a big on there. He tells him not to eat it. Eugene makes him eat it and gives him a stunner.
JR appears to be crying because this is so bad.
Edge vs. HHH vs. John Cena ©
They stall and Edge steps to the apron and tells them to have at it. HHH and Cena say ok and brawl. Shoulder block to HHH. Boot and a fisherman's to HHH gets 2 as Edge saves it. Edge on the floor still and HHH gets an atomic drop to Cena. Rights by HHH, Cena fires back but HHH gets the high knee for 2 as Edge saves the pin. Crowd for HHH easily here, Edge is on the apron and HHH and Cena pull him in and whoop his ass. Cena clothesline's Edge to the floor and follows. Rams Edge to the table as HHH comes to show him how it is done. They try to one up each other and Edge is getting FUBAR'D! HHH tosses Edge back in and HHH nails Cena. He tosses him to the floor and he and Edge go at it. Edge works over HHH and has him on the apron…Cena in and pulls HHH to the floor and back in after Edge. Cena up top…big splash by Cena gets 2. PROTO BOMB by Cena! 5-knuckle shuffle try, Lita pulls the rope down and Cena fall to the floor. HHH tosses Cena to the steps and then goes in and gets a knee crusher to Edge for 2. HHH works over Edge with rights, but Edge with a boot. Off the ropes…SPINEBUSTER by HHH gets 2. Edge counters a suplex and gets a cover for 2. Off the ropes and a sleeper by HHH. Edge escapes and gets a sleeper of his won. Cena in, picks them BOTH UP but Edge escapes and SPEARS CENA as he had HHH up for the FU! Edge and HHH brawl on the floor and catapults HHH into the steel post and he TAPS AN ARTERY! Edge puts HHH on the Spanish announce table, they brawl…IMPLANT DDT by Edge and the table DID NOT BREAK! Damn that is a LOT of blood. Edge with a missile dropkick on Cena gets 2. Edge with rights to Cena. Irish whip and Edge with a corner spear on Cena. Cena counters a DDT into the STFU! Edge fights…crawls…and HHH stops him from getting the ropes and NAILS Cena with the mic! HHH is in a pool of his own blood, gets a chair and absolutely KILLS EGDE! HHH back in the ring, STFU on HHH! HHH fights…my gawd the ultimate crimson mask! HHH is fading…the arm drops 1 time…2 times…NO! HHH LIVES! He fights to his knees and gets the ropes! Cena stalks him, FU countered…Pedigree countered and STFU AGAIN! HHH battles for his life as he bleeds all over the ring! Edge is up and goes up top…Cena up and nails him. REF BUMP! Cena and Edge up top…HHH over…TOWER OF DOOM! Edge rolls to the floor and the ref gets to his feet. Lita has a chair and is in the ring. Tries to hit HHH…SPINEBUSTER ON THE HO! HHH has the chair…but tosses it away. SLEDGY TIME! Back in the ring he goes, measures Cena…SPEAR BY EDGE ON HHH! Edge has sledgy…but Cena gets him…LOW BLOW by HHH! Pedigree countered into a jackknife roll up and Cena wins!
Winner: John Cena via pin @ 20:00
HHH nails Cena, the ref and Edge after the match with sledgy! CROTCH CHOPS BY HHH! He stands tall, but without the title.