Larry Csonka is one of the hardest working IWC columnists on the World Wide Web. He's currently the Co-Wrestling Editor for 411mania.com, my favorite wrestling news site, and regularly reviews television shows & pay-per-views from WWE and TNA, among others. I'm honored to report that Mr. Csonka has agreed to allow his PPV reviews to be displayed here at the Rollercoaster, to help continue to catalogue the history of professional wrestling. For more great reviews and columns, be sure to visit the site. You won't be disappointed.
411’s WWE Armageddon Report 12.16.07|
Posted by Larry Csonka on 12.16.2007
It took three of him, but Edge wins the World Title!
WWE ARMAGEDDON Begins Now!
-LIVE from my hometown of Pittsburgh PA~!
-411's Leonard Hayhurst is in attendance!
WWE United States Championship Match: MVP © vs. Rey Mysterio
MVP shoots for a leg, and Mysterio escapes. MVP tries another takedown and Mysterio escapes. Off the ropes and a tilt a whirl head scissors by Mysterio, roll up for 2 follows that. Kicks by Mysterio, an arm drag and MVP to the floor. The ref stops a baseball slide, because MVP had his hand on the ropes. Mysterio then gets a corkscrew plancha over the ref onto MVP. Back in, MVP misses the Kawada kick, goes for a RANA and MVP dump him onto the turnbuckle, and covers for 2. MVP with cross face shots to Mysterio and then a cover for 2. MVP works the chinlock/cravate, Mysterio escapes but MVP then gets a boot to the head and Mysterio is down. MVP drags him center and covers for 2. Half nelson applied by MVP, Mysterio fights to his feet and elbows out. MVP with a jawbreaker to Mysterio gets 2. MVP back working on the neck, kicks by Mysterio and he escapes. Mysterio is about to run the ropes and MVP slams him down and covers for 2. MVP now tries a press slam, Mysterio to his feet and gets a RANA! Mysterio with leg kicks now, forearm shots and then a springboard cross body gets 2. Mysterio to the apron, slips on a springboard and lands badly. Mysterio then gets a split legged moonsault for 2. Mysterio off the ropes and eats a clothesline. To the corner, MVP and Mysterio up top… Mysterio fights and MVP knocks Mysterio off. He pull shim back up, Mysterio fights again and then gets a SPRINGBOARD SUPER RANA for 2! Mysterio off the ropes, KAWADA kick and MVP covers for 2. Mysterio counters and manages a reverse DDT and covers for 2. MVP knocked into the ropes, 619 countered and MVP to the floor. Mysterio off the apron with a RANA to MVP. Mysterio back in and MVP drops to the floor and tales the count out. That sucked.
Winner: Rey Mysterio @ 11:35 via Count Out **½
-After the match Mysterio attacks MVP, gets the 619 and MVP escapes.
-JR and King hype the rest of the show. We see clips from Survivor Series and HHH and Hardy surviving.
-Todd is with Hardy. He says that this is the biggest match of his career. He knows HHH is an 11-time world champion and he respects HHH. He fears nothing and tonight is the night for him to rock onto the next level.
CM Punk & Kane vs. Big Daddy V & Mark Henry w/Matt Striker
Punk and Henry to begin. Henry tosses Punk back, they lock up and Punk with leg kicks. Punk shoots for a single leg and is tossed off. Punk trips up Henry, rights land, knees and a tag to Kane. Uppercuts by Kane, he lays the boots to Henry and then rights. Henry fires back and clubs away at Kane. Off the ropes and a basement dropkick by Kane. Tag to Punk, who gets a dropkick and then off the rope and a clothesline by Henry. Rights by Henry, ITS CLUBBERIN TIME! V tags in, chops to Punk, Punk back with chops and then off the ropes and eats a clothesline. Punk tossed to the floor and Striker kicks him in the gut. V tosses him back in, gets a press slam on Punk and tags in Henry. Henry chokes out Punk in the corner, and then delivers clubbing shots to the back. Corner splash by Henry misses, tag to Kane and he unloads with rights on Henry. A corner clothesline connects and then another one. Kane up top…clothesline connects. V in and Kane nails him, Henry slams Kane to their corner and he has to fight out. V in and a goozle by Kane. V escapes and gets the V BOMB on Kane for 2 as Punk makes the save. V with a clothesline, splashes down, rides Kane and gets forearm shots to Kane. Tag to Henry, corner splash by V and then the bear hug by Henry. Kane fights, looks for a tag and Henry slams him to the corner. Corner splash by Henry, V with chops to Kane and then a clothesline. Henry tags in, beats down Kane but then Kane comes back with a DDT. Tag to Punk and V. Punk runs wild and then lays the leg kick sin. Knee of doom. Another. Leaping Enziguri by Punk. More kicks, Kane in and they beat down Henry. They toss him to the floor and Kane follows. Punk up top, Kane takes out Striker but Punk leaps into the Samoan Drop (HE'S NOT EVEN SAMOAN) and V gets the pin.
Winners: Mark Henry and Big Daddy V @ 10:45 via pin *½
-Vicky is backstage blowing up balloons and Edge arrives. She is preparing for Edge's victory tonight. She says all of her pain will go away when Edge becomes champion. Edge promises to make her feel as good as she makes him feel. He has the strength of three men because of her. Edge is a romantic and kisses her hand.
-Kennedy on the mic, he says a bunch of stuff doesn't matter; only that he beats HBK. Because he is Mr. Kennedy…Kennedy.
Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy
They circle a bit, knees by Kennedy and then rights. Off the ropes and a back elbow by Kennedy gets 1. Kennedy with boots, more rights and a slam. He gets an elbow drop, side back breaker and a cover for 2. Rights by Kennedy in the corner, slams HBK to another and HBK fires up and retaliates with chops. Irish whip, counter and HBK does the corner flip and Kennedy tries the kamikaze roll, HBK escapes and mounts Kennedy and lands rights. HBK tries a suplex, the back in hurting so he can't and he settles for a single arm DDT. HBK with shoulder rams, a single arm takedown and slides into a hammerlock. HBK continues to hold on and work the arm, forearms by Kennedy to escape, but HBK holds on and keeps the work of the arm alive. Kennedy takes both of them to the floor off of a spear. HBK slams Kennedy to the barrier, HBK back to the apron and HBK stomps on his hand. That had to suck. HBK grabs the arm and drags Kennedy back in and stomps on the arm. Wristlock and then a knee drop to the elbow by HBK. HBK takes him back down with the arm lock, stomps on the hand again and then rips at the fingers. HBK back with a wristlock, Kennedy fires back and finally breaks. They go to the apron and brawl, with Kennedy finally slamming HBK back first off of the steel post. Back in and Kennedy continually slams HBK to the corner. HBK fires back with a kick to the injured hand of Kennedy, but Kennedy connects with the corner ole kick for 2. Kennedy lands a side back breaker and covers for 2. Kennedy lands another back breaker and then stretches HBK over his knee. Kennedy releases him and gets a series of elbow drops and covers for 2. A slam by Kennedy, he goes to the 2nd rope and leaps, almost catches a boot to the face, stops that, gets an elbow drop and covers for 2. Kennedy now works the chinlock, and then delivers kidney shots. HBK fires back, gets a back elbow and then backdrops Kennedy to the floor. Kennedy makes it back in, rights by HBK and then chops. Off the ropes and a flying forearm by HBK. Kip up. Atomic drop, rights, atomic drop and then more rights. A slam by HBK, and he goes up top. ELBOW DROP connects. HBK tunes up the Christian rock band, misses a superkick and Kennedy gets a roll up for a close 2! Kennedy goes for the kamikaze roll, HBK escapes and gets a roll up and gets 2. Kennedy catapults HBK to the corner, he hits the post and Kennedy gets the kamikaze roll for 2! Kennedy talks shit to HBK, picks him up and misses the flatliner as HBK grabs the ropes. Kennedy lands a left, that's the hurt hand and this allows HBK to get the superkick for the win.
Winner: HBK @ 15:25 via pin ***½
-We get a wacky Royal Rumble commercial, with them fighting on a subway. HBK superkicks Michael Buffer.
-Todd is with Randy Orton. Orton is offended that Todd alluded that he may lose. He plans to shut down the 2nd coming of Y2J. He says Y2J is full of empty promises. Orton doesn't care about being entertaining as long as he leaves with the title. He beat HHH, HBK and Cena and isn't afraid of Y2J's hype.
#1 Contender's "Non-Title" Match: HHH vs. Jeff Hardy ©
They shake, and then HHH shoves him away. No loving embrace for Jeff. Lock up, off the ropes and a shoulder block by HHH. They lock up again, work some counter holds and HHH knocks him on his ass again. Off the ropes, flip counter by Hardy and HHH kills him with a clothesline. An Irish whip and Jeff fires back, off the ropes and arm drags by Hardy. HHH bails to the floor and avoids a baseball slide, they brawl on the floor and Hardy fucks up running the railing and eats a clothesline for messing up. Back in the ring, Hardy holds back on a right hand and HHH slaps the shit out of him and yells at him to FIGHT! FUCK YEAH! They lock up, to a corner and HHH with rights, Hardy escapes and gets rights to HHH. Knees by HHH, off the ropes and an atomic drop by Hardy, sack leg drop and dropkick. He slaps HHH, who smiles and is now happy. Hardy tossed to the floor, and then slammed to the steps. Back in they go, elbow drops by HHH and then a hard Irish whip that drops Hardy. Hardy fights back, goes up top and HHH tosses him off to the floor. That had to suck. HHH lets the ref count, Hardy makes his way back in and HHH gets an elbow off the 2nd rope to the back of the head. HHH in control and a cover for 2. Abdominal stretch by HHH, he uses the ropes for leverage and gets caught and breaks. Hardy escapes a suplex and gets an Enziguri. Knee buster and a clothesline by HHH follows and a cover for 2. Off the ropes and a sleeper by HHH. Hardy slams HHH to the corner, escapes and then gets a 2nd rope dropkick. Off the ropes and a clothesline by Hardy. They trade rights, off the rope again and Hardy with a flying clothesline. Corner mounted punches by Hardy, wacky dropkick in the corner misses by Hardy and HHH covers for 2. A boot by Jeff, and a clothesline takes HHH to the floor. Baseball slide dropkick and then a plancha by Hardy. Back in and Hardy up top…gets a cross body for 2. Whisper in the wind by Hardy gets 2. Hardy goes for the TOF, but HHH gets a DDT counter for 2. Hardy goes for a crucifix, but HHH drops down and covers for 2, and Hardy turns it into a cradle for 2. Rights by HHH in the corner, lays the boots to Hardy and then the Irish whip, counter and reverse kick by Hardy and then the wacky corner dropkick. Hardy up top, MISSES the swanton and HHH covers for 2. HHH goes for the pedigree, counter, TOF countered and a spinebuster by HHH. HHH goes for the pedigree again, Hardy counters into a roll up for the pin!
Winner: Jeff Hardy @ 15:30 via pin ****
-Jeff goes and celebrates in the crowd.
-Khali talks in Khali-ese. He's mad at Finlay and will destroy him tonight. Sorry, my Punjab is a bit rusty. Oh Runjin is there, but I like to ignore him.
Finlay w/Hornswoggle vs. The Great Khali w/Runjin
Khali slams Finlay down, picks him up and tosses him to the corner and lays the boots to him. Chops by Khali, and then a big boot off the ropes. Khali tosses Finlay to the floor, follows and slams him around the ringside area. Khali misses and eats the steel post. Boots by Finlay, but Khali JUDO CHOPS Finlay from the floor. Back in and a head butt by Khali. Vulcan Neck Pinch by Khali. Finlay escapes, but takes the slowest spin wheel kick ever. Back to the Vulcan Neck Pinch, for a long time. Finlay makes the ropes and Khali has to break. Khali pulls Hornswoggle in the ring and then tosses him out. Chops to Finlay, a body slam as well and Khali celebrates. Khali tries to take apart the corner pad, Finlay gets the SHACKALACKI from Runjin, but Khali goozles Finlay and Hornswoggle has another one for Finlay, SHACKALACKI SHOTS and FINLAY WINS!
Winner: Finlay @ 6:10 via pin *
-We get a video package for Jericho vs. Orton.
WWE Championship Match: Randy Orton © vs. Chris Jericho
They lock up and shove off to begin. Arm drag by Jericho, and Orton backs off. Lock up, to the corner and Orton doesn't break clean and lands some shots to the ribs. Jericho back with arm drags and gets control with the arm bar. Forearms by Orton, but Jericho back and gets a gut buster suplex onto the ropes to Orton and then stiff kicks to the gut. Jericho works the ribs, but Orton with a knee shot. Off the ropes and Jericho with a spin kick and Orton backs off to the apron. Jericho avoids the springboard dropkick, so Jericho then gets a cross body from the top to the floor. As they go back in, Orton tries the hangman's DDT, but Jericho gets in and tries the Walls, but Jericho escapes. DDT by Orton, and he covers for 2. Orton stomp now, and then works the chinlock/body scissors combo. Jericho fights to his feet, off the ropes and eats a sweet dropkick by Orton for 2. Back to the chinlock/body scissors combo. Jericho fights to his feet, works to escape and does. Off the ropes and they collide and are down. They get to their feet, trade shots and chops by Jericho. Off the ropes and a forearm by Jericho. Off the ropes and a shoulder tackle and then a clothesline by Jericho gets 2. Uppercuts by Jericho, to the 2nd rope and a dropkick by Jericho gets 2. More chops by Jericho, off the ropes and a snap slam by Orton gets 2. Orton now slams v to the steel post, RKO try countered into a backslide by Jericho for 2. Orton then slams him to the steel post yet again and Jericho is down. They fight up top now, Jericho fights and Orton gets a superplex. Orton now covers for 2. Off the ropes and Orton misses a dropkick and Jericho goes for the Walls, but Orton rolls him up for 2. Running Enziguri by Jericho and he gets the bulldog. LIONSAULT eats knees. 3.0 back breaker to Jericho, and Orton stalks Jericho. RKO countered. LIONSAULT! 1…2…NO! Jericho tossed to the floor by Orton, he follows him out and they brawl. Jericho charges Orton and he sidesteps him and tosses Jericho into JBL. JBL is pissed off by this, and Jericho shoves JBL out of his way. Stun gun by Jericho, up top and a forearm smash off the top to Orton! Code Breaker try, countered as Orton slams Jericho to the corner. Orton looks for the concussion kick…misses and Jericho gets a roll up into the walls of Jericho! Orton fights…Jericho pulls him center! But JBL is in to boot Jericho in the head for the DQ finish. BULL SHIT!
Winner: Chris Jericho @ 15:10 via DQ ***
-JBL leaves the ring and Orton lands the RKO.
-Jillian comes to the ring to spread Christmas cheer. She says her album is a hot download, which is scarily enough is. People cover their ears as she sings. Tremendous. Mickie is out to save the day.
WWE Women's Championship Match: Beth Phoenix © vs. Mickie James
Lock up and Beth tosses Mickie down. Mickie tossed off again and then eats a shoulder block. Kicks by Mickie, but Beth tosses her to the corner. Mickie tries the head scissors and Beth powerbombs her down. Beth covers for 2. Beth chokes out Mickie in the ropes, snap mare now and a dragon sleeper by Beth. Knees by Mickie, kicks now and Beth slams her down. A slam to the corner by Beth and into the tree of woe, Mickie escapes and gets a roll up for 2. Off the ropes and a double chicken wing by Beth. Mickie escapes and elbows out, kick to Beth and Mickie counters a suplex and gets a boot and back elbow. Head scissors by Mickie, Thesz press and rights now. Stiff kicks by Mickie, another Thesz press and rights. A basement dropkick by Mickie gets 2. More kicks, chops and a neck breaker by Mickie. Mickie up to and gets a missile dropkick and cover for 2. A boot and Primal DDT try, tossed off and Beth gets the Fisherwoman's Buster for the win.
Winner: Beth Phoenix @ 4:50 via pin *¾
-Tazz replaces JBL for commentary since he left.
-We get a video package for Edge vs. Batista vs. Taker.
World Heavyweight Championship - Triple Threat Match: Batista © vs. Edge vs. Undertaker
Edge to the floor as Taker tries to go after him. Batista and Taker to begin, lock up and Batista tosses Taker to the floor and he chases Edge. Taker and Batista fight over beating up Edge and they then brawl on the floor. Taker slams Batista to the barrier, and then gets attacked by Edge as he slides back in. Edge bails and Batista attacks Taker. Rights by Batista, slams Taker to the corner and then gets a boot. Taker is pissed and Batista clotheslines him to the floor. He goes after Edge and he runs, so Taker nails Batista. He slams him to the steps, rolls him back in and lays the boots to Edge that was on the floor. Apron leg drop by Taker to Batista. Batista slams Taker to the steel post and then Edge slams Batista to the post. He slides him in and covers for 2. Edge spears Taker off of the apron, but walks into a Bossman slam by Batista for 2. Off the ropes and a clothesline by Batista, shoulder rams in the corner and then a whip, and Edge drop toe holds Batista into the corner. Edge sets for the spear…but eats a knee. Powerslam by Batista gets 2 as Taker pulls him to the floor and whips him to the steps. Taker rolls Batista into the ring, and then nails Edge with a right. Taker with a boot to Edge, and then the apron leg drop is stopped by a Batista clothesline. Batista and Edge in the ring, off the ropes and a boot and spinebuster to Edge. Batista bomb try, LOW BLOW by Edge and apparently there is NO DQ. Implant DDT by Edge gets 2 as Taker pulls the ref to the floor. Taker in now, he and Edge brawl and Taker is pissed off. He lights up Edge, Irish whip and to the corner and a corner clothesline to Edge. Snake Eyes and a big boot by Taker! Taker goes old school and connects. Taker goes for the last ride, but Batista spears Taker, tosses Edge to the floor and Taker gets a triangle choke on Batista. Edge rings the bell to trick them, sneaks around the ring as Taker is pissed and EDGE SPEARS him and gets a 2 count. Edge sets and spears Batista for 2. Edge now gets some chairs, Taker tosses Edge to the floor and Batista levels Taker with the clothesline. Batista up top…and Taker crotches him. Rights by Taker, Taker up top and gets a SUPER PLEX on Batista! Edge watches on from the floor, Taker goes for old school on Batista, leaps and Batista gets a spinebuster! Batista spears Edge! Batista bomb onto Taker is stopped and Taker backdrops Batista. There are now three Edges! Taker chokeslams Batista, fake Edge in and eats a chokeslam! Batista and Taker brawl, snake eye to Batista, but Batista back with a clothesline. Batista covers for 2. Taker gets a tombstone on Batista! REAL Edge is in and NAILS Taker with a chair shot! Nails him again and covers Batista for the win!
Winner: Edge @ 13:06 via pin ***
-Edge celebrates with the title as the fake Edges crawl past him.