WWE Saturday Night's Main Event #34
June 2nd, 2007

I love free wrestling events, which means I've always been a fan of Saturday Night's Main Event. While it may not be the greatest matches of all time, you can always count on something to move along the storylines towards the next PPV. Of course, in this case, the PPV is tommorrow night (make that tonight, due to me writing this during the graveyard shift), so it's also the last chance to push the storylines. Honestly, I hadn't planned on writing a review of this one, but when I found out Larry Csonka didn't do a review (he's set to do One Night Stand tonight), I thought maybe I could at least throw together a review of what went down. While the match-ups won't be completely laid out, you'll get the gist of how things ended up. After all, it's never easy to find SNME shows for sale, now, is it? Let's get to it.

WWE Satuday Night's Main Event #34
Posted by the Accelerator, June 3rd, 2007

- We're in Toronto, where the crowd is always so spectularly unpredictable. We had an interesting combination of announcers: Michael Cole from Smackdown and Jerry "The King" Lawler from Raw. Strange that Jim Ross took the night off. Stranger still that, the night before the "ECW" PPV, neither Joey Styles nor Tazz were in attendance. Then again, I think all of us EC-DUB fans have already resigned ourselves to the fact that this ain't the original One Night Stand line-up.

- Just as another note, there were different ring announcers for each match, as if all of the divas needed time on television. Some were ok on the mic, and some struggled. What's wrong with Lillian again?

The Great Khali won a "Non-Title" Match over the WWE Champion, John Cena

Apparently it was decided in the back that the Great Khali wasn't a big enough threat for Cena in the eyes of the fans, so Khali got to completely dominate the champion throughout this one. He blocked the STFU, avoided the FU, and even pinned Cena with one foot after a karate chop to the head and a chokebomb. Afterwards, Khali got on the mic (*sigh*), and, with his interpretor's help, says that he can beat Cena anywhere, and will do it tommorrow night at the PPV to win the WWE Championship.

Bobby Lashley went to a No-Contest in an Arm-Wrestling Match against Mark Henry

We were scheduled to have Lashley and the ECW World Heavyweight Champion, Vince McMahon, testing their strength, but plans soon changed. McMahon stalled for a while, not locking up with Lashley, and just as it was about to finally happen, Mark Henry's music hit, and McMahon revealed that the World's Strongest Man was his replacement in the Arm-Wrestling competition. Lashley accepted the challenge, and, after falling behind early on, seemed to be coming back on Henry, who promptly hit Lashley to break up the contest. The two fought for a while, with Lashley getting back in control with a Spear on the big man. But Vince then gave Lashley a chair shot, then left in celebration. Vince gets the early psychological advantage before One Night Stand the next day.

- Edge gave an interview with Maria, and, of course, the Toronto fans were completely behind him. I don't have a transcript, but it was Edge's basic speech about having beat both the Undertaker and Batista to stay the World Champion.

Batista & Chris Benoit defeated Edge & MVP

Suffice to say, MVP was really the odd man out here, as he took a lot of abuse from both Batista and Benoit. At one point, the heels got control and worked over Benoit, but Benoit eventually managed to tag in Batista, who cleaned house. While Batista was working over MVP, Edge started to come in, only to back off from a glare from the Animal. Edge walked away from the match and headed up the ramp, as MVP suffered a Spinebuster and a Flying Headbutt, before getting pinned by Benoit. Edge still is showing his fear of Batista (the fear he vehemently denies), while MVP's US Title looks to be in trouble against the threat of the Rabid Wolverine.

Finlay & Hornswoggle defeated the Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman

It was your typical big man/midget tag-team match. We had the bigger man start off, then the little guys get themselves tagged in for another showdown. In another funny moment, Little Boogeyman nearly pinned Finlay with a roll-up at one point. At the end of the match, the Boogeyman got distracted chasing Hornswoggle, leaving Little Boogeyman to get beat up and pinned by Finlay. I really think that Hornswoggle may be reaching the top spot in WWE: the most famous midget wrestler in the company's history. Little Boogeyman just doesn't measure up.

- The Extreme Expose came out to dance. Yep, I don't understand why, either. Meanwhile, in the back, Hornswoggle was being chased by Little Boogeyman. He also almost gets caught by the big Boogeyman, but Finlay stops that with a shillelagh shot. Finlay then mocks the Boogeyman's dance, which was pretty funny. The midgets ran out into Extreme Expose, with each getting on the shoulders of one of the dancers to fight it out before running back up the ramp. Cute, but it's sure sending a strange message to new fans of WWE. Things have really changed, haven't they?

Doink the Clown, Eugene, & Kane defeated Kevin Thorn, Umaga, & Viscera

Yes, you heard right. The main event of the show involved Doink, Eugene, Thorn, and Viscera. At least Kane and Umaga have some credibility. Somehow I suspect that the ratings might peak after the Cena/Khali match, and that's saying something. Anyhow, I don't know as of now who played Doink. If I find out, I'll throw in an edit. It must have been strange for Nick "Eugene" Dinsmore, who played Doink himself once upon a time early in his WWE career. Eugene had his own stuff going on, as he was dressed like a superhero. Now we just need Rosie to return to help teach Eugene about flying. The basic set-up of the match was that Doink and Eugene goofed around, the heel monsters dominated them, then Kane came in and cleaned house, eventually Chokeslamming Viscera for the victory.

Ace Thoughts: Realistically, you have to weigh tonight's show on a different scale than the usual Pay-Per-Views. For one, it's a free show, so you can't expect them to give away tremendous match-ups. They mainly spent their time joking around, for the most part, which is enjoyable in its own way. Secondly, it's the night before a major PPV, in which every match is going to be Extreme in its own way. You don't want to hit people with serious matches right before a night like that. Thirdly, I did find myself laughing during the show, I have to admit. That Hornswoggle, he's a gold mine. And while I wouldn't have gone with Cena getting decimated the way he was, it sure makes people wonder how he's going to beat the Great Khali at the PPV (we know he WILL do it, but how will he manage it?). All-in-all, not a bad show to set up One Night Stand.

The Accelerator