GCWA Friday Night Inferno

*After a few seconds of silence, a fire begins blazing from the bottom of the shot, eventually overtaking everything. With a rush, a hard rock theme begins to blast through your speakers, as the inferno gets even higher. Inside the flames, various images start to appear, displaying the different wrestlers of the company. We switch rapidly from shot to shot, as the music reaches an epic climax, the final shot showing Derek Mobley, standing in the middle of his Roman Empire allies. He is smiling, with the GCWA World Heavyweight Title sitting comfortably on his shoulder. The screen explodes into flaming shards, letting us into the GCWA Arena! As the usual pyrotechnics go off, we scan the crowd, showing the many frantic fans of the Global Championship Wrestling Association. The reaction is still fierce, but it almost seems a little reduced this time, as the fans are working on coping with their emotions following the recent announcement about the GCWA. One person’s sign in the front row simply says “Say it ain’t so, Ace!” We head to the announce table.*

Jones: Hello, everyone, and welcome to another great edition of Friday Night Inferno! It’s been a rather somber week, as word came down from on high that the GCWA may very well be closing at the end of August, after GCWA Heat Wave goes down.

Rockwell: Yeah, and I blame TGO! It’s all his fault for messing with the stockholders!

Hood: You can’t blame TGO! It’s Ace who has screwed things up so badly that we’re heading towards the end!

Rockwell: … How about we blame Lurrr?

Hood: Yeah, that works! *Bleeping* Lurrr!

Rockwell: Asshole!

Jones: I don’t see how you can blame this on Lurrr…

Hood: Shaddup!! We have to blame this on someone, damnit!

Rockwell: Hey, what about you, Jones?? How could you have prevented this??

Jones: Me??? I… I couldn’t have done anything!

Rockwell: A likely story…

Jones: LOOK… whatever the reasons behind it, we just have to deal with it happening and move on. We’ve still got some great wrestling action left in us, and tonight’s going to prove that! Later tonight, we’ll be featuring some of the greatest talent in the world putting on some tremendous matches for our viewers at home!

Hood: Yep, starting off with Lorenzo Demarco making a foot of that drug addict, Arachne!

Jones: Actually, Arachne’s turned over a new leaf, thanks to a visit to a church this week.

Hood: So, what, he’s on the rebound? That won’t last… addicts always fall again!

Rockwell: After that, we’ve got a real classic set as Liam Shayde will be taking on El Linchador!

Jones: That one will probably be epic, even without El Linchador’s Intercontinental Heavyweight Title on the line. Later on, we have a rematch between two strong-willed individuals, as Jaiden Rishel will face off against The Lost Soul in a “Falls Count Anywhere” Match!

Hood: Which will be three victories in a row for the NFB!! And then, we’ll wrap up our perfect night with The Great One destroying Arachne in that Lumberjack Match!

Rockwell: Or TGO could finally get some comeuppance for everything he’s done around here!

Hood: Fat chance of that!

Jones: Speaking of the Lumberjack Match, guys, I have intrepid GCWA reporter Cynthia Hall in the backstage area. She’s been doing some investigative work on the fact that no lumberjacks have been officially announced for the match! Cynthia?

*We cut to the back, seeing a shot of Cynthia Hall standing in the hallway. She’s wearing a very nice-looking low-cut t-shirt and jeans, showing that she’s ready to keep moving tonight.*

Cynthia Hall: Hi, guys! Well, I’ve been asking around to my usual sources in the GCWA Staff, but so far, none of them have had much to say. It seems like none of the crew actually knows who the lumberjacks are going to be. But I know there have to be a group of wrestlers who are going to be surrounding the ring for Ataxia and The Great One, and I’m going to do everything I can to find out who they will be!

*Cynthia nods to the camera and moves off, even as we go back to the ring.*

Jones: Thanks, Cynthia.

Hood: I hadn’t really thought about it… but it IS pretty strange that we don’t know who any of the lumberjacks are going to be, isn’t it?

Rockwell: Yeah, usually word would have leaked out by now, no matter how hard they were trying to keep it a secret.

Jones: Well, I guess we’re just going to have to keep waiting, and hope that Cynthia can dig up the dirt before the match. For now, we’ve got other contests to take care of!

Minos: The next match is scheduled for one fall, with a 10-minute time limit. Making his way to the ring at this time, he is the former GCWA Tag Team Champion, from Japan: Arachne!

*A recording of the Solesmes monks from France chanting Iudica Me Deus from the Graduale Romanum beings playing over the speakers in the arena. The fans, shocked and slightly disturbed by the music, all turn to see Arachne walk out wearing a white robe (alb) with lace down each side at his legs in the shape of a cross. He walks out with his hands folded in front of him and a look of serenity on his face. When he gets to the ring he walks up the steps and climbs between the ropes with delicacy and precision.*

Hood: This is just freaking weird…

Rockwell: I can’t believe it, but I totally agree…

Jones: I will throw my hat in too… Weird doesn’t begin to describe this.

*Arachne bows to Minos and gently takes the microphone from him and holds it up to his mouth. *

Arachne: Dominus vobiscum.

*The fans react to Arachne with silence. *

Jones: I’m being told in my headset that in Latin that means the Lord be with you.

Arachne: My friends and brothers and sisters, I’m just so glad to be here today to entertain you. I’m so happy every morning that I can get out of bed and share what talents the Lord has given me with the world. I once was lost, but now I’m found. And as for those of you who are worried that I might hurt Lorenzo Demarco, I give you my word that I won’t. I’m here for an athletic competition and to win, but I don’t win by hurting someone. I win by my mind and by talent and by fair treatment. Then tonight after the show, Lorenzo, I hope we can go out and have a nice glass of wine or a nice milkshake and be friends. This sport is going to become a gentlemen’s sport again! Derek Mobley, everyone from you to the bottom of the roster needs to learn to become a gentleman. God bless you all, and the next time I say Dominus vobiscum, the correct response is to tell me that you wish the Lord to be with my spirit too! So you should say ‘et cum spiritu tuo.” Let’s try it! Dominus Vobiscum!

*The fans react with a weak “et cum spiritu tuo” but are almost interrupted by Lorenzo Demarco’s music, "Things Done Change" by Notorious B.I.G., as it blares over the speakers. *

Minos: Please welcome one half of the World Tag Team Champions, weighing in at 240lbs and from Brooklyn New York: LORENZO DEMARCO!

Hood: Good! Demarco will put a stop to all this!

Jones: Like he did all those midgets, Hood?

Hood: Those dwarves got what they deserved! Demarco paid little Ace good money, and he tried to extort us! I’m glad they got run over!

Rockwell: They’re calling it The Midget Massacre of 2010.

Jones: Will Demarco treat Arachne the same way?

Rockwell: Of course not! Arachne’s no midget!

*Lorenzo makes his way to the ring, looking at the man in the laced robe in the ring and shaking his head. He slides into the ring and stands up where Arachne moves towards him with open arms. *

Jones: Arachne is going for a hug…

Hood: Kill him, Lorenzo!

*Lorenzo looks at Arachne and shakes his head. Arachne continues moving at him with his arms wide open while shouting “let’s be friends!” Lorenzo swings his arm back and connects with a hard closed-fist punch. Arachne hits the mat like a sack of potatoes. *

Jones: Normally I wouldn’t condone that, but Arachne had it coming to him…

Rockwell: Yeah, I’m not sure I’m down with this “new” Arachne.

Hood: Kill him, Lorenzo!

*The bell rings, despite the fact that Arachne is out on the floor. Lorenzo scoops him up to his feet and Irish whips him towards the ropes. Arachne nails the ropes and comes running back to Lorenzo who nails him with a hard clothesline. Arachne hits the mat hard and Lorenzo lifts his arms in the air and the crowd begins booing. Lorenzo hits the ropes lightly to give him momentum and then drops a knee across Arachne’s lower back. Arachne screams out in pain but Lorenzo gets back up and drops a second knee, and then back up to deliver a third knee. Again he stands, but this time he comes down with an elbow drop to the lower back of Arachne. *

Jones: This is looking pretty rough for Arachne… Hugs, it seems, are not a good way to start a match.

Hood: It was an attempted hug. He didn’t succeed.

*Lorenzo gets back to his feet and stands behind Arachne as he struggles to get to his feet. Arachne grabs onto the ropes and pulls himself groggily to his feet, favoring his lower back. Lorenzo sees this and runs up behind him, throwing his knee into the air and slamming it into Arachne’s lower back. Arachne grabs onto the ropes to keep himself from falling over, but Lorenzo throws his knee up again and slams it into Arachne’s lower back. Screaming in pain, Arachne tries to get away, but Lorenzo wraps his arms around Arachne’s neck and locks on a sleeper hold. Arachne struggles to try and grab the ropes again, but Demarco pulls him into the center of the ring. The referee moves in to check on Arachne. *

Jones: Well, this doesn’t look good for Arachne…

Hood: Kill him! Choke him out!

Rockwell: Yeah, I’m not sure this “change” was the best thing for Arachne.

*Arachne gets a sudden burst of momentum and moves forward, grabbing the ropes. The referee asks Demarco to break the hold, but instead he pulls him away from the ropes. Arachne’s grasp on the ropes is broken and the two men struggle around in the middle of the ring. Arachne manages to get to the ropes on the other side of the ring and again the referee moves forward and begins trying to break the hold. Lorenzo continues trying to pull Arachne away from the ropes, but the referee begins counting and immediately Demarco lets go, not wanting to be DQ’d. *

Jones: Smart move by Demarco.

Hood: Smarter move would have been to rip his head off! Get him Lorenzo!

*Demarco moves to the center of the ring and Arachne turns and walks to him with an outstretched hand, asking for Lorenzo to shake his hand. *

Rockwell: Oh God not more of this…

Jones: What is Arachne thinking?

Hood: Rip his hand off!

*Lorenzo looks at Arachne with a “are you kidding me?” sort of look until Arachne gets to the center of the ring where Lorenzo slaps his hand away, kicks him in the stomach and drops him with a DDT. Lorenzo makes the cover… 1… 2… Kickout! Both men get to their feet and Lorenzo Irish whips Arachne to the ropes, Arachne hits the ropes and comes running back where he gets hit with a neckbreaker. Both men are quickly back up to their feet though and Lorenzo scores with a second DDT! He makes the cover again… 1… 2… Kickout! *

Jones: Another near-fall! Arachne hasn’t done anything yet in this fight.

Rockwell: Except trying to hug and shake his opponent’s hand.

*Arachne gets to his feet where Lorenzo swings at him with an open fist. Arachne ducks under the punch and grabs Lorenzo’s non-punching hand and tries to shake it. Lorenzo, however, capitalizes on this by grabbing Arachne’s hand and holding it to the side allowing him another hard boot to Arachne’s midsection. With Arachne leaning over in pain, Lorenzo sets him up and piledrives Arachne’s head into the canvas. He makes the cover… 1…2…. KICKOUT! *

Jones: This has got to be frustrating for Lorenzo Demarco…

*Lorenzo rolls Arachne over onto his stomach and locks on an STF, and the crowd begins booing. Arachne fights, trying to drag his body across the canvas towards the ropes, but his weight combined with that of Lorenzo’s is too difficult for him to move. After a few moments, though, it appears Lorenzo gets frustrated and releases the hold but grabs Arachne’s head and slams it against the canvas. Demarco gets back to his feet and waits behind Arachne as he slowly gets to his feet. When Arachne, fully standing, turns around to face Lorenzo, he is met by a headbutt. Arachne, dazed from the hard hit, walks towards the ropes. Lorenzo runs up behind him and tosses him over the top rope as though he was a sack of potatoes. Arachne hits the ground outside hard. *

Jones: Taking it to the outside, is Lorenzo Demarco…

*Lorenzo steps through the middle rope and steps down off the ring apron. He walks up behind Arachne and grabs him, bringing him over to the ring post and slamming his head against it. Arachne falls to the ground outside. Lorenzo stands over him and delivers several hard boots to the back of his head and the lower-back he worked on earlier in the match. The crowd boos and Lorenzo slides back into the ring. The referee begins making the count-out count… 1…2… 3… 4… 5… 6… Arachne stirs… 7… 8… Arachne gets to his feet and slides into the ring where he is met by several boots to the back from Lorenzo. Arachne pulls to his feet and Irish whips Lorenzo. Lorenzo hits the ropes and goes running back to be met by a bearhug from Arachne… however, it’s not really a bearhug, Arachne is just hugging the guy and yelling “peace be with you, brother.” *

Jones: Oh dear God…

Rockwell: Ace… could you please suspend Arachne?


*Lorenzo goes nuts, nailing Arachne with many punches and blows to get him to release the peaceful hug. Arachne tries to block the shots but gets hit with many of them. Lorenzo sends Arachne running with an Irish whip. Arachne hits the ropes and runs back into a spinebuster from Lorenzo. Lorenzo dives up and mounts Arachne’s chest and begins delivering closed-fist-punch after closed-fist-punch to the face of Arachne – insane with anger over the hug. The referee begins counting the illegal punches… 1… 2… 3… 4… The referee, seeing that Lorenzo will not stop, tackles Demarco with a running start. Lorenzo, knocked off Arachne by the referee, begins yelling about the referee abusing him. The referee and Lorenzo both get to their feet and are shouting at one another. Lorenzo makes a fist and looks at the referee. However, Arachne gets to his feet and walks over to the two men, puts a hand on each of their elbows and says in a loud voice “can’t we all just get along?” Lorenzo turns and nails Arachne with another hard closed-fist-punch. *

Jones: Well… at least he’s a nice guy…

Rockwell: He’s a really weird guy.

Hood: He’s dead. KILL HIM!

Rockwell: Damn, Hood, I’m getting tired of you yelling that in my ear. Once more, and you’ll regret it.

*Arachne’s crawling to the ropes now, holding his mouth, with Demarco shrugging off the warning of the referee and following him. He starts dropping axehandles onto Arachne’s back, knocking him to the ground again and again. Amazingly, Arachne’s still struggling to get up, showing his newfound inner strength. It seems to be driving Lorenzo crazy, as he can’t understand why Arachne keeps getting up to get hit. Demarco steps back and heads to the side, apparently deciding just to end things. He lines up the Paid In Full… and then stops, as “Let Me Hold You (Little Man)” by Dewey Cox begins to play over the speakers!!*

Jones: I… huh??

Hood: Whose music is that?? I don’t recognize it!

Rockwell: I do… but it couldn’t be… could it?

Jones: Wait… at the entryway… it is!!

Hood: Who the *bleep* is that??

*The fans begin to recognize the figure walking out to the edge of the ramp, as Lorenzo turns and looks that way, confused. His eyes suddenly spark with realization of who it is, as well as why he must be here.*

Jones: That’s… that’s The Little Guy!!!

Rockwell: We haven’t seen him here in ages! I thought he went back to the CWF!

Jones: Yeah, but remember what happened with Demarco this week?? He put a bunch of little people in the hospital!

Hood: Someone explain to me what’s going on??

*The Little Guy stays on the entry ramp, staring down towards the ring and locking eyes with Demarco. TLG doesn’t look to be a particularly forgiving mood. Demarco doesn’t seem nervous about him, although his attention has definitely been diverted. Demarco shakes his head for a second, then waves TLG on, telling him to get this over with!! But TLG doesn’t move… even as Arachne, back on his feet, comes at Demarco from behind, wrapping around him with another hug!!! Demarco, shocked, shoves backwards on instinct, causing the battered Arachne to fall back… and take Demarco over for a pinning combination!! Demarco’s frantically kicking as the referee drops… 1… 2…. NO!!! Just barely, Demarco escapes!*

Hood: No!!! No?? Whew!!!

Jones: That couldn’t have been closer!! Arachne nearly took the victory!

Rockwell: And Demarco’s decision to beat up a bunch of midgets has come back to haunt him!

Hood: Someone get that little turd out of here!

*Both wrestlers are back on their feet, with Demarco checking for a second with the ref to make sure he escaped. Meanwhile, Arachne is dusting himself off, only to see The Little Guy now standing next to the ring, looking up at the two men! Demarco, seeing where Arachne is looking, turns as well, angrily cursing at TLG. Arachne, though, shakes his head, and then steps over and gets between the top and middle ropes to try and have TLG come in for an ‘intervention’. Quickly seeing that he’s too high, though, Arachne goes lower, raising up the middle rope and pushing down the lowest one. He’s enticing TLG to come in… but Demarco, seeing Arachne’s position, suddenly turns and runs at him… nailing him in the head with the Paid In Full!!!! Arachne, having been completely vulnerable, falls to the mat, with Demarco dropping on top of him… 1… 2… 3!!!!*

Minos: Here is your winner… Lorenzo Demarco!

Jones: Demarco takes advantage of one more ‘faith’ maneuver by Arachne to knock him out!

Rockwell: Arachne, Arachne, Arachne….

Hood: Woo, way to go, Demarco! You didn’t kill him, but you made him think… or, I guess, not think, considering how his head just got rattled around.

*Demarco gets his hand raised by the ref, smiling as he does so. He looks down at the unconscious Arachne… then turns, sensing something behind him. The Little Guy is standing there, facing him from the corner! Demarco steps back, positioning himself for an attack, but TLG doesn’t move towards him. Instead, TLG smiles, then points to Demarco. He then runs a finger across his throat, very similar to what Slim Tomkins did at the accident site. TLG then laughs, even as a weird cloud of green smoke spews from the corner!*

Jones: What’s that?

Hood: I’m betting it’s toxic! Hold your breath, Demarco!

*Demarco steps away, not wanting to breathe any of it in. But the smoke disperses quickly, with The Little Guy disappearing from the ring! Demarco looks around, confused, as the fans give a “TLG” chant.*

Hood: Where did he go??

Jones: A guy that small? He could go anywhere, relatively quickly…


Rockwell: Damnit, Hood!! That was me!! And you screamed in my ear again!!

*Scuffling between Hood and Rockwell can be heard, as we see the ringside area again, where Demarco is carefully exiting the ring. He’s watching out for himself, intending to get himself and his half of the World Tag-Team Titles back to the NFB locker room. We cut away from the ring and head to the back, where we see a shot of a nervous-looking Dangerous Dan moving down the hallway. The crowd can be heard giving a cheer for the Danger Boi, as he stops in front of a specific locker room door.*

Dangerous Dan: Ok, Dan, you can do this. Just because you’ve been summoned, it doesn’t mean that anything’s wrong. I mean, it’s not like it’s the President, right? He’d just want you to fight Bifford again. It wasn’t TGO and his *bleep*heads. So this will be fine. Right? Right.

*Dan shakes his head, mustering up some courage. He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. It slowly swings open.*

Lurrr: ‘Bout time you got here, Dan. Come on in.

*Lurrr steps back, showing that he’s waiting in the room along with the GCWA World Heavyweight Champion, Derek Mobley! Dan nods to Mobley and steps in, still unsure of what’s going on. The cameraman tries to follow, but Lurrr blocks his way.*

Lurrr: I don’t recall a cameraman being requested. You can go now, Joe.

*After what’s happened to other GCWA employees who have gotten on Lurrr’s bad side, the cameraman is quick to step out of the room. Lurrr shuts the door, showing the nameplate of the Commissioner. We slowly fade out.*

*We come back to GCWA television with a shot of Cynthia Hall in the back. She’s standing by with a rather-large man waiting next to her.*

Cynthia Hall: Cynthia Hall here, about to get some words with one of the participants of tonight’s Lumberjack Match… The Great One. TGO, thank you for meeting with me.

*The camera zooms out to get The Great One in the shot, who appears to be engrossed in reading a newspaper. He suddenly realizes that it’s gotten quiet around him.*

The Great One: … Oh. Cynthia. Didn’t realize you were there.

*TGO flips to the next page of the paper, as Cynthia looks on in bewilderment, before speaking again.*

Cynthia Hall: Excuse me, TGO, but you SAID you were willing to answer a few questions…

*With a sigh, TGO folds up the paper and turns.*

The Great One: Better make them good ones, then.

Cynthia Hall: Well, first off, the NFB won last week’s highly anticipated War Games match, mostly due to your own involvement in the contest.

The Great One: Is that a question, or just praise?

Cynthia Hall: The question is, how are your guys treating how things happened last week?

The Great One: They won the match… so they’re happy, of course. I thought I said GOOD questions…

Cynthia Hall: Have you found out any word on who the men were who attacked you after the match was over?

*This one, at least, strikes a chord, as The Great One’s eyes darken slightly.*

The Great One: Whoever they are, they’re playing with fire. And I guarantee to you, they’re going to get burned soon enough.

Cynthia Hall: Ok. Well, tonight you’re taking on Ataxia in a Lumberjack Match. The speculation has been that both sides will be represented, except for the fact that Ataxia doesn’t really have a side. Are NFB members going to be involved?

The Great One: Quite frankly, no, Cynthia. Because those biased bastards Ace and Lurrr decided to ban NFB from ringside. So no, none of my guys will be lumberjacks. That being said, I’m not worried. Whoever they have out there, they won’t be friends of Ataxia. He has no friends.

Cynthia Hall: So what about…

The Great One: You got your chance to ask questions of The Great One, babe. Your time is up. I have a match to get ready for.

*TGO walks away, not looking back, as Cynthia sputters for a moment. She flushes, angry at being called “babe”.*

Cynthia Hall: … Back to you guys.

*Cynthia walks off, as we go back to ringside.*

Jones: So, really, we just got some big news, as not only will NFB members not be Lumberjacks… they’ve actually been banned from ringside!

Hood: That makes no sense! It’s a lumberjack match! We deserve equal protection!

Rockwell: Apparently not the way this match is set up, Hood.

Jones: So if the NFB are out, who are the lumberjacks? The Roman Empire? The President’s Cabinet?

Hood: This is looking more and more rigged…

Jones: Well, it looks like we’re about ready for our next contest, so let’s head back down to the ring!*

Minos: The next match is a Non-Title Bout scheduled for one fall with a 10-minute time limit. Coming down to the ring, he is one of the young stars of the GCWA, representing Nobody's F'n Better, standing 6'1" and weighs 227 lbs, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, here is Liam Shayde!

*"I'm Bad" by The Last Vegas plays, with Shadye making his way out of the back with a good strut in his step. He makes his way quickly to the ring, not messing around with any of the fans at ringside (although he does seem to be keeping his eye open for anyone suspicious, say, maybe a circus performer?).*

Jones: It was a wild adventure for Shayde and The Great One this past week, but thankfully, both came back alive, albeit with a few less pieces of clothing.

Rockwell: I, for one, did not need to see The Great One's, er, littler one.

Hood: Little? Weren't you paying attention? Did you not see the size of...

Jones: Er, guys, PG show here.

Hood: I thought we were PG-13 now?

Jones: I don't even know anymore. The way we have blood and cursing every week, maybe we should be rated higher.

Minos: His opponent is a legendary veteran in the business, who continues to impress with his wrestling abilities... standing 6'1" and weighing 199 lbs, from La Coruna, Spain, representing the Roman Empire, here is the GCWA Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion, El Linchador!

*El Linchador comes out to "Hey Ladies" by the Beastie Boys, earning the massive cheers of the crowd in attendance. He appears to have a serious look on his face, especially when he sees a person in the crowd with a picture of him throwing a fit inside a car. El Linchador shakes his head sadly and continues on.*

Jones: Did you get a chance to check out the show this week that El Linchador was on?

Rockwell: Yep. He's got a lot of problems, doesn't he?

Jones: I don't know, Adrian. From what I saw, they used a bunch of pictures and videos from throughout El Linchador's life, and usually they used them out of context.

Hood: I was wondering. He sure seemed to look younger under different lights.

*The Bell Rings.*

*The bell rings and El Linchador comes in fast with a double ax handle smash. Shayde sidesteps and waits for the bounce back off the ropes by El Linchador. Linchy bounces off the ropes but doesn't turn around instead running backwards and leaping going for a flying back elbow. Shayde ducks it and rolls. El Linchador bounces off the ropes again only this time to get caught by Shayde doing a leaping uppercut!*

Jones: He could have taken Linchy's head off!

Hood: It wouldn't change anything he hasn't used his head since nineteen ninety two.

Rockwell: I was going to say eighty five.

Jones: Lame lines think alike.

Hood: Yeah...HEY!

Rockwell: Is it just me or is Jones getting more ballsy?

*Shayde quickly goes to work on the more charismatic El Linchador with a arm drag takedown working on the shoulder of the spanish superstar. He starts to work the arm as Linchy puts his foot on the ropes and Mitchell tells Shayde to break the hold. Shayde lifts the arm up and slams it hard before he lets it go forcing Linchy to grab his arm. Shayde kicks him hard in the back of the head before he picks him up and throws him into the ropes. He waits for the bouceback and does hits a hiptoss on Linchy sending him to the mat. Elbowdrop to the already worked on shoulder of El Linchador. Shayde pulls up Linchy and then puts that injured arm into a hammerlock.*

Jones: Shayde going for a more technical approach.

Hood: Of course. It's a smart move to take down the high flyer and put him down hard.

Rockwell: Yeah to bad he can't put away his germ phobia.

Hood: Why would that come into play?

Rockwell: Well...Linchy is a sweaty spanish guy. He's probably got more bacteria on him than old meat.

Hood: Oh I hope Shayde doesn't listen. He might panic!

Jones: Ugh. I hate it when you two get along more than when you fight.

*El Linchador is in obvious pain as Shayde keeps the hammerlock on. Wait a reversal by El Linchador only to be reversed again by Shayde! El Linchador puts his leg behind Shayde's and leans forward putting Shayde off balance enough to flip him onto the mat! Shayde gets up quickly and Linchy is still holding onto that arm. Dropkick to the shoulder by Shayde. El Linchador hits the mat hard and tries to get back up but can't from the pain. Shayde gets over top of him when El Linchador suddenly kicks Shayde's legs out from under him sending him to the mat. *

Jones: Still some fight left in El Linchador!

Hood: Not for long if Shayde has anything to do with it.

Rockwell: This match is such a snoozefest.

Jones: You're just mad because Ace's faction isn't involved in this.

Hood: Yeah this makes it a great match because Ace is not anywhere to be seen.

Rockwell: You mean he'd doing his job instead of getting in matches?

Jones: Ohh burn.

*Linchy gets up and takes his boot and slams it hard into the thigh of Shayde. Shayde grabs his leg and holds it as Linchy tires to work the soreness out of his arm. He stands and waits to Shayde to get back up and comes at him with a running dropkick to the knee. Shayde sidesteps and Linchy misses landing on the mat. Shayde comes down with a elbowdrop but misses as Linchy rolls out of the way. Both men get up at the same time and Linchy shoves Shayde. Shayde returns the gesture with a punch and the brawl is on as both men start trading punches on after another after another. The fans start getting in on this clearly on the side of El Linchador but a few are actually cheering on Shayde as he ducks a punch from El Linchador and comes up again with a uppercut.*

Jones: That move is slowly becoming a favorite of his.

Hood: Any move worth doing once is worth doing again.

Rockwell: Yup hence why I greet you everyday with my one fingered salute.

Hood: I thought I was number one? Wait you were...

Jones: Oh Christ! Call the match you twits.

*Linchy shakes off the punch as Shayde goes down and tackles Linchy to the mat. He quickly punches that worked on shoulder again and gets off of Linchy. Shayde goes ballistic and hits a stomp onto Linchy's sternum. He keeps his calm and reaches down to pick him up. Linchy brings up a knee to Shadye's gut but can't capitalize from the assualt. Shayde rares back and ax handle smashes Linchy's arm and hits him down to the mat. He calls for it! Cat's Cradle!*

Jones: The submission hold of Liam Shayde has been executed!

Hood: Only a matter of time now.

Rockwell: Till I fall asleep from this technical snoozefest?

Hood: You just don't appreciate good technical wrestling.

Rockwell: No I don't appreciate boring wrestling!

Jones: Call the damn wrestling!

*Linchy tries to wiggle around the ring but placement by Shayde put him dead center. He's got no where to move and that shoulder injury is putting even more pressure on him to tap out. Mitchell asks him if he wants to quit and Linchy says No! Shayde twists and turns the hold trying to make it hurt even more. Linchy tries to break the hold but can't get enough strength. This hold is taking a long time to attempt to break out of and the crowd is on it's feet cheering him on and on and on. After about two minutes Linchy's face contorts after a turn from Shayde makes him tap out! He taps! Mitchell calls for the bell!*

Minos: Here is your winner by submission...Liam Shayde!

Jones: The Cat's Cradle wins the match for Shayde and the EMT's have run down the ramp to check on Linchy.

Hood: I told you he'd win by technical tenacity!

Rockwell: You mean by boring us to death.

Jones: Guys this looks serious. They're calling out the stretcher.

Hood: Only serious because it's disturbing the great win of Liam Shayde!

Rockwell: Yeah and making this longer till we get out of here.

*The Emt's bring the stretcher out as Linchy gets up and starts to get out of the ring. He refuses to be taken out on the stretcher as he heads back to the back with the doctor. We cut to the backstage area, where The Big Bifford is pacing around in front of the custom-built desk that Ludwig the Seal (“Vice President of GCWA”) is sitting. Bifford shakes his head with frustration while the seal’s eyes follow the big man from side to side as he paces.*

The Big Bifford: You know what really pisses me off, Ludwig? No, not that I can’t challenge Derek the Mobley for the World Title again… what really pisses me off is that El Linchador has been in this promotion for a long time now but he’s never come to me and thanked me for all that I did for him in OCW. Do you know what I did for him in OCW? I made him the Oceanic Champion! He was the CHAMPION of the OCEAN! That’s a huge deal, Ludwig. Do you know that the OCEANS take up more space in the world than land? That makes that belt way more important than the Intercontinental title. Because, I mean, if you combine the land mass of two continents you don’t get nearly as much space as you do in the OCEANS! But do I get thanked? No. My work is a thankless work, Ludwig. You know how I feel…

*Bifford stops pacing and looks at the monitor in Ludwig’s office, seeing the end of the El Linchador match played on instant replay.*

The Big Bifford: And now I don’t know what to do at the Pay Per View. Ace says that I’ve beaten Dangerous Dan too many times so I can’t fight him again… I can’t challenge for the World Title. I’m not allowed to wrestle Arachne. It’s like there are all these rules and I just don’t understand why there has to be so many rules!

*Bifford shakes his head in disgust.*

The Big Bifford: You know what, Ludwig? We should go out and get some food. That will help me think of who I want to fight at the Pay Per View! Let’s go to Waffle House and I can get some waffles stuffed with bacon…. Or wait, maybe I’d rather have a pancake. Let’s go to DENNY’S! I can get the Grand Slam Breakfast!

*Bifford starts walking towards the door, forgetting that the seal is strapped into his chair and can’t get out of the desk by itself without the assistance of at least three crewmen. Then suddenly he stops in his tracks and turns toward Ludwig.*

The Big Bifford: Ludwig, are you thinking what I’m thinking?! GRAND SLAM! Has Lurrr ever been Tag Team Champion? NO! Has Draco ever been X-Division Champion? NO! Has Stevie Donovan ever been X-Division Champion? NO! Has The Lost Soul ever been World Champion? NO! Are any of them challenging for those prospective titles at Heatwave? NO! I must challenge El Linchador and I must become INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION! And I must become the first GRAND SLAM CHAMPION of MODERN GCWA!

*Bifford’s walk towards the door becomes a run as he swings it open. The big man runs down the hallway to the curtain that separates the backstage area from the arena. Just as he arrives there, El Linchador walks through the curtain, obviously tired from his match. The doctor is right next to him, making sure that he can continue on his own. Bifford runs up to him.*

The Big Bifford: Hey El Linchador! Remember when you were Oceanic Champion? CHAMPION of the OCEAN? Why didn’t you ever thank me for that?

El Linchador: I earned it.

*El Linchador gives Bifford, who looks like a lunatic and is breathing extremely heavy after running down the hallway, a dirty look and brushes past him, aching. Bifford gets a look of angry rage in his eyes and grabs a steel chair that is set up beside the curtain for performers who come backstage and are hurt. He folds it up, walks up behind Linchy and nails him in the back of the head with a hard chair shot! El Linchador goes down to one knee, dropping the Intercontinental title belt on the floor.*

The Big Bifford: You earned nothing! I gave you that belt!

*Bifford swings the chair again and it connects with Linchador’s back. El Linchador cries out in pain and tries to get back to his feet but Bifford swings the chair a third time and nails him in the back of the head. El Linchador goes down face first against the cold, hard floor. The doctor tries to jump in, pleading for mercy, but Bifford simply takes him out as well. Bifford pulls Linchador quickly to his feet and runs with his head towards the wall. Bifford tries to slam Linchador’s head against the wall, but Linchy fights back and slams Bifford against the wall. The wall (a cheap and poorly made wall, apparently) gives way and Bifford falls through into a storage room. El Linchador takes a look and then runs back a few steps before running towards the giant Bifford-shaped hole in the wall. Linchador dives through the wall, attempting a splash on what he assumes to be a downed-Bifford. However once he goes through the wall he finds Bifford has already gotten to his feet and catches El Linchador in his arms. Bifford runs with Linchador and jumps amazingly through the damaged wall and delivers a powerslam onto the hard, cold ground. Linchador screams out in pain and favors his back as Bifford is slow to get back to his feet. Once on his feet, Bifford grabs the Intercontinental Title and stands over El Linchador’s body.*

The Big Bifford: See this belt? This is the only thing that stands between me and the title of Grand Slam Champion. And since you're holding it, you're also in my way. It has to be mine... It is mine. Or it will be at Heatwave, you stupid fool. You’ll pay for your sins and for your ungratefulness at Heatwave.

*Bifford drops the title down on El Linchador and walks away, huffing and puffing and favoring his ribs after the move that sent him through that wall. We fade out.*

*We come back to a shot of Cynthia Hall standing in front of another doorway. She’s waiting patiently for the signal from the cameraman.*

Cynthia Hall: Oh, hello again, everyone, Cynthia Hall here again, out in front of the Roman Empire locker room. Let’s see if we can get some answers, shall we?

*Cynthia knocks on the doorway and waits… and waits… and waits…*

Cynthia Hall: Hmmm… I know they’re in there, I heard Warrick laughing earlier…

*Cynthia raises her hand to hammer again, but suddenly the door swings open, causing her to fall off-balance into the room. Warrick steps in and catches her, grinning. Behind him, we can see a television showing exactly what’s happening, and revealing that Warrick knew she was the one knocking.*

Warrick Hill: Gotta love it when girls fall for you.

*Cynthia pulls herself from Warrick’s arms and straightens herself up, looking a tad embarrassed. She clears her throat and raises up the mic to Warrick.*

Cynthia Hall: Warrick… so I see you’re the only one in your locker room right now?

Warrick Hill: No, I mean, there’s you. And the cameraman. And you. And, uh, me.

*Cynthia looks to the side, seeing something sitting in an ashtray next to the chair. Warrick, seeing what she’s looking at, quickly moves and grabs the ashtray, dashing the contents to the side.*

Warrick Hill: So, uh, what can I do for you? Or what can you do for me?

Cynthia Hall: Well, Warrick, for one thing, viewers are curious about why Dangerous Dan was meeting with Lurrr earlier tonight.

Warrick Hill: They had a meeting? Far out!

Cynthia Hall: Yes, but would you know what the meeting was about?

Warrick Hill: Who am I, Lurrr’s travel secretary or something? Ask him, he’s the big old Commissioner now.

Cynthia Hall: Hmmm… well, how about this… later on tonight, we’re set to have the Lumberjack Match between Ataxia and The Great One. We’ve already heard that NFB won’t be participating. Does that mean that The Roman Empire will fill in as the Lumberjacks?

Warrick Hill: Do I look like someone who works all night and sleeps all day? I definitely don’t wear women’s undergarments… no matter what Derek says.

Cynthia Hall: So, you guys aren’t Lumberjacks, either?

Warrick Hill: Hell, only reason I’m here tonight is to get a paycheck for showing up! I get paid for doing nothing! I love this job!

Cynthia Hall: Ok, well, there you have it, guys. We’re running out of possibilities for the Lumberjack Match.

Warrick Hill: Hey, Cynthia, if you want, stay a while. I just got a new delivery in. This stuff’s primo!

Cynthia Hall: Camera’s still rolling, Warrick.

Warrick Hill: … Well, that’s ok… because I was… talking about… ummm… oh, hell, just get out, you’re ruining my buzz!

*The cameraman and Cynthia both leave, as Warrick shuts the door behind them. We go back to Jones, Hood, & Rockwell.*

Jones: So the lumberjacks aren’t NFB or the Roman Empire. Does that mean that the Lumberjacks are all going to be the President’s Cabinet?

Hood: That would be horrible… and, really, strange. I mean, I thought Ace and Ataxia didn’t get along?

Rockwell: They don’t… but at the same time, Ace DOES have a grudge to settle with TGO.

Jones: I don’t know. It seems strange to me, but if that’s the way it is, then TGO will just have to deal with it.

Hood: Or he can just say screw it and not come out. It’s not like they can fire him or anything.

Rockwell: No, but Ace or Lurrr could strip him and Demarco of the World Tag-Team Titles, Hood.

Hood: … Damn.

Jones: We’re definitely getting our main event match tonight, guys. But first, we have another match to take care of, one that grew out of last week’s double countout between these two! Minos?

Minos: This next match is a Falls Count Anywhere match scheduled for one fall!! Introducing first, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, standing six feet tall and weighing in at 221 lbs…Jaiden Rishel!!

* “The Broken” by Coheed and Cambria begins to play as Jaiden Rishel makes his way down to ringside. A few people are shown at ringside raising a sign that says “Hey, Jaiden, Can You Spare A Hundred?”*

Jones: Rishel surprisingly donated a lot of money this week to a homeless man in his neighborhood, helping to get the man back on his feet.

Hood: The guy’s an idiot, Jonesy. All that money went right to drugs and women. I mean, that’s a great place to put the money, but it definitely didn’t go to bettering his life.

Rockwell: You can’t assume all homeless people are drug-addicts, Hood. He might just be an alcoholic.

Jones: Whatever the reason, it was a nice gesture from a man that used to be universally hated. It seems that Rishel’s working to turn over a new leaf.

Minos: And, his opponent, from Parts Unknown, standing 6’4” and weighing in at 235 lbs….The Lost Soul!!

*TLS emerges from behind the curtain as “The Friday the 13th Theme” echoes throughout the arena. The crowd is still extremely torn on him, but the boos definitely outnumber the cheers. We again are shown that sad-looking little boy in the front row, still defiantly wearing The Lost Soul’s facepaint. Nearby, though, the fans aren’t so forgiving, with a sign showing the lynching of TLS next to the other members of NFB.*

Jones: TLS’ movie career is seemingly taking a beating this week, due to concerns about his overall health.

Hood: I don’t know why he’s even worried about that. The guy’s getting paid plenty to be The Great One’s enforcer!

Rockwell: For all wrestlers, there comes an end, Hood. Some guys don’t have the financial security that others do, and are looking for career prospects after the closure of the GCWA.

*The Lost Soul reaches the ring and looks up at Rishel, who is standing inside the ring. TLS remains on the outside of the ring, staring up at Rishel.*

Jones: Mind games here, early on, with The Lost Soul.

Rockwell: Is he going to get in the ring or not?

Hood: NOT! Man I miss that catch phrase.

Rockwell: It didn’t even apply there, man.

Hood: You reacted, didn’t you?

Rockwell: Only because you screamed it in my ear.

Jones: Falls count anywhere…here we goooooo!!

*The ref calls for the bell as TLS is still standing on the outside. Rishel shakes his head, as he gives in and slides to the outside. As he does, TLS lunges for Rishel with a vicious right hand, Rishel, however, uses his superior quickness and ducks TLS’ attempt. TLS staggers off balance, turns around and is nailed with some lefts and rights from Rishel! TLS staggers back against the ring apron. Rishel then lifts a knee into the gut of TLS…TLS doubles over in pain. Rishel then hooks the head of TLS and drops him with a DDT on the outside!*

Jones: Whoa! TLS wanted to start this match on the outside but it’s Rishel who’s gained the upper hand!

Rockwell: Yea, that really blew up in Soul’s face.

Hood: That’s what he gets for coming out to the Friday the 13th theme.

Rockwell: How do you figure that?

Hood: Have you SEEN those movies?? They suck! That hockey masked dude just wonders around super slow and always winds up being murdered by some teenager. Not much of a badass, if you ask me.

Rockwell: And that pertains to this how?

Hood: They both shared the same music…weren’t you listening?

Jones: Guys! Guys! The match, please!

*Rishel pulls TLS to his feet and goes to toss TLS back into the ring, TLS, however, responds with a thumb into the eye of Rishel. Rishel grabs his face in pain. TLS takes a few steps back and then lunges forward, drilling Rishel with a lariat! Rishel lands on the ground hard, suffering a bit of whiplash. TLS gets to his feet and walks over to Minos. He reaches down to grab the chair Minos is sitting in. Minos glares at TLS and gets to his feet. Mythos approaches TLS and they engage in a staredown.*

Jones: I think TLS is finding out that you don’t frick with Minos.

Rockwell: Frick?

Hood: Yea, Jonesy, you don’t have to censor it just because we’re around.

Jones: I’m not keeping it clean for the two of you, I’m keeping it clean for the chillens watching back at home…that and, well, I don’t have a potty mouth.

Rockwell: Potty Mouth!

Hood: Ahh, gotta love a grown man displaying the vocabulary of a twelve year old girl.

Jones: *Bleep* you guys.

*TLS and Minos continue their stare down as TLS has a grip on the chair Minos was seated in. Minos has a grip on it as well. The crowd rises as, from behind, we see Rishel fly into the picture! He leaps at TLS, TLS moves out of the way and Rishel nails Minos!! Minos staggers back into the guardrail. TLS now has full possession of Minos’ chair. TLS lifts it up and goes to drill Rishel as Rishel’s back is to him. Rishel moves, though, and TLS drills Minos in the head with the chair. Minos, however, shows no sign of pain as he glares at TLS with rage in his eyes.*

Jones: Uhhhh…

Rockwell: What the heck??

Hood: Minos is a zombie!

Rockwell: No, he’s a Greek God.

Jones: No, you morons, it’s a really pretty butterfly.

*Actually, they’re all wrong, Minos was the mythical king of Crete, son of Zeus and Europa…but I digress. Minos reaches out and grabs TLS by the throat, choking him. He then reaches out with his other hand, grasping Rishel by the throat, choking him as well. Rishel and TLS look at each other and, simultaneously nod. Together, they deliver a kick right into the groin of Minos!! Minos doubles over in pain and falls to the ground, curled up in the fetal position.*

Jones: Well, so much for that invincible aura.

Hood: Don’t hate, Jonesy, that’s a low blow and there’s a reason they call it that…because that blow is…

Rockwell: Lowwwwwwww

Jones: What are you two, some kind of duet?

Rockwell: No, but we will kick your mother sucking ass if you smart off one more time.

Hood: Boosh!

*Rishel and TLS’ unity is short lived as Rishel goes for a spinning heel kick, TLS reacts by lifting up the chair he had taken from Minos. Rishel’s leg cracks against the chair and he holds it in pain. TLS then lifts the chair high, above his head, and sends it crashing down into the back of Rishel! Rishel arches his back in pain…TLS then walks towards the announce table and begins to yell something at Jones.*

Jones: What?? I…I…don’t understand?

Hood: Speak English, TLS!

Rockwell: Yea, he doesn’t speak Voorhees!

Jones: Guys, quiet!

Hood: I guess it’s true…soul’s have no voice.

Rockwell: Then how is your conscience supposed to be your guide?

Hood: That isn’t a soul, fool!


Rockwell: Who’s Pete?

Hood: He’s gay! I knew it!!

*TLS hands Jones his chair and motions for Jones to use it as TLS holds Rishel in front of it. Jones stands there, nervously, with the chair in his hands. TLS drags Rishel towards the announce table and holds Rishel there…he, aggressively, motions for Jones to use the chair. Jones does, however, he swings it with such a lack-of-authority, that Rishel grabs it, yanks it out of Jones’ hands, turns around and drills TLS in the gut with it!! TLS backs away, bent over in pain…Rishel then, holding the chair close to the ground, lifts it up at a high rate of speed and upper cuts TLS with the chair!! TLS falls backwards, holding his face in pain as Rishel tosses the chair aside, he turns around and gives Jones a ‘Thumbs up’.*

Rockwell: So much for professionalism, Jones.

Hood: Yea, whatever happened to being unbiased? Huh??

Jones: That was an accident…I didn’t mean to…

Rockwell: Riiiight…we heard you ragging on TLS earlier. It’s all clear now…

Hood: Yea, don’t even try to back out of those inappropriate remarks you made earlier about his entrance music.

Rockwell: Yea and then you ‘acted’ like you couldn’t understand what he was saying…get real, Jones.

Jones: Stop painting me as biased…you two are the most biased sons of bitches I’ve ever seen!!!

Hood: If by biased you mean I like women instead of men, then yes…I shall agree.

Rockwell: However, Jones…if by biased you mean blatantly taking the side of one opponent over another when you’re job description specifically specifies that you must remain neutral to any and all parties inside the square circle…then…we are…not.

Jones: I liked this job a whole lot more when there was only one of you guys.

*Rishel, after congratulating Jones, goes for a pin. The ref slides into view to make the count. 1! 2! Kick Out!!! TLS kicks out and Rishel shakes his head, realizing he’s got more work to do. He gets to his feet and pulls TLS back to his. He nails TLS with a few forearm uppercuts, softening him up some more. In the background, we see a very attractive female approach the announce table with two drinks in either hand, she sets them down in front of Rockwell and Hood.*

Rockwell: Ahh, thanks, babe.

Hood: Sweet! I haven’t had one of these in forever!

Jones: Wha…wha…what the heck are those?

Rockwell: A shot we tried the other night while partying at this really cool local establishment. Warrick Hill drinks them, they are called ‘Myers Shot’.

Hood: Yup, Blue Curacao, Pineapple Juice, Peach Schnapps, Crown and Amaretto.

Jones: And you guys call ME unprofessional!

*Rishel continues to work TLS over, dragging him towards the announce table. He lays TLS on top of the announce table as Hood and Rockwell work to protect their drinks. Rishel sees this and he lunges over the table, snagging Rockwell’s shot. Rishel downs it and hurls the empty glass into the crowd. He looks at Rockwell with surprise in his eyes and says “Not bad”…he then rushes back towards the ring, leaving TLS lying on the table.*

Rockwell: BASTARD!!

Hood: Ahahahahaha…sucks to be you, Rockwell!

Rockwell: I know, I paid for that round…mother *bleeper*!

Jones: Serves you right, drinking on the job.

Rockwell: Shut up, you biased asshole.

*Rishel climbs to the top turnbuckle, perched high above…he looks down at TLS with Hood not paying any attention as he laughs at Rockwell. Rishel leaps off with a frog splash!!! He drills TLS through the table with the frog splash from the ring to the outside!! Hood’s drink spills everywhere all over him!! The fans go nuts as Rishel gets to his feet, holding his midsection in pain.*

Jones: Black Rainbow!! Black Rainbow!!! What a move!!

Hood: Are…you…freaking…kidding me!!!

Rockwell: Who’s laughing now, asshole.

Hood: That little prick took both our drinks!! Screw him!

Rockwell: Yea!

Hood: TLS!

Rockwell: TLS!!!

*TLS is motionless as Rishel yanks him to his feet. Rishel rolls TLS back into the ring. Rishel gets on the apron as TLS is lying, on his back, near the center of the ring. Rishel climbs to the top turnbuckle and he leaps off with a 360 Shooting Star Press!! He nails it perfectly! Rishel goes for the pin and the ref makes the count. 1! 2! 3!!!! The bell rings.*

Jones: Rishel did it!! He hit No World For Tomorrow and picked up the big win!!

Hood: Well, that sucks!

Rockwell: There’s no justice in this world…

Hood: Somebody find me a kitten.

Jones: Why?

Hood: So I can kick the *bleeping* thing.

Rockwell: Well said, Hood.

*Minos limps into the ring, not looking very happy. He glares at Rishel, Rishel sees an angry Minos and decides to exit the ring. Minos, with a mic in his hand, speaks.*

Minos: Here is your winner….Rishel….

*The Lost Soul is already pulling himself up, trying to ignore the pain he’s in, as Jaiden Rishel turns and walks away. He looks pleased with himself, although he’s not in much better shape. We cut away and go backstage, where we’re in front of what’s apparently a contentious area. On one side of the room, TGO is standing with Liam Shayde, Landon Chase, & Lorenzo Demarco. On the other, The Accelerator is backed up by Chris Cortez, Bucky Johnson, & Johnny Vegas.*

The Accelerator: I don’t see why we’re even discussing this. Chris Cortez is the new #1 Contender to Mobley’s World Title, and that’s final!

The Great One: Cortez doesn’t deserve squat! You guys got two shots to keep Mobley from the belt, and you blew it! So why should you get another opportunity, when I’ve got a young, hungry wrestler here who wants his turn? Shayde is your future World Champion!

The Accelerator: Shayde? He’s the #1 Contender to the Unified X Division Title, remember? So he’s booked!

The Great One: No, he’s not! Shayde gave that title shot to Chase! He’s clear!

*Shayde looks up, then glances at Chase, seemingly surprised by the announcement. Chase, for his part, breaks into a wide grin.*

The Accelerator: What has Shayde done to earn this title shot? Cortez here is a former champion who never got a chance to defend his belt, BECAUSE of you guys! He’s clearly deserving of the title shot!

The Great One: Cortez? The guy whose team lost to us at Wargames? Explain to me again how that logic works!

*The two sides inch closer to each other, with war seemingly imminent. A second later, though, both teams are thrown for a loop, as the door opens, with Commissioner Lurrr and the Roman Empire coming into the office!*

The Accelerator: Private meeting, Lurrr, and you weren’t invited.

Lurrr: Not invited, huh? Good thing that I’m a notorious party crasher.

The Great One: So what the hell do you want, Lurrr? Men are talking here.

*Lurrr smirks at both men, as Mobley and Hill stand behind him. After a second, Lurrr pulls out a piece of paper and tosses it to the President, who barely catches it.*

Lurrr: Just wanted to let you guys know that while you’ve been pissing on each other’s boots, I was taking care of business.

The Accelerator: What’s this?

Lurrr: That, ‘boss’, is a World Heavyweight Title contract, signed by Derek Mobley… and Dangerous Dan.

*Immediately, the yelling starts, shouting back and forth across the room.*

The Accelerator: Dangerous Dan? What the *bleep*??

The Great One: What kind of pussy move is this, Mobley? Scared of the NFB??

The Accelerator: No… no, you can’t do this, Lurrr. Maybe TGO and I are dead-even on who can be chosen for Heat Wave… but I KNOW you don’t have the power to book a PPV Main Event!! Not the way we’ve rewritten your contract!

The Great One: Yeah, that’s right… so take this contract and stick it in Hill’s ass if it’ll make you feel better. It’s not going to work.

*Lurrr, still smiling, starts to leave, with Hill and Mobley walking behind him. Strangely, they’re both smiling as well. At the doorway, Lurrr turns and looks back.*

Lurrr: Who said anything about Heat Wave? I’m talking about next week. See you, boys.

*Ace gasps, going back to read the small print on the contract, as the Roman Empire departs. The crowd can be heard, roaring, at the thought of a World Title Match taking place next week. We head to our final commercial break.*

*We come back to the backstage area, where the Accelerator is seen standing next to Cortez, Johnson, and Vegas. Apparently, TGO and the NFB departed the room already. Ace is pacing back and forth, in a bad mood after Lurrr’s announcement.*

The Accelerator: This is absolute horse*bleep*. Where does Lurrr get off, finding a loophole to book World Championship matches??

*As Ace continues to go back and forth, the door opens behind him, and Cynthia Hall appears, stepping in. She stops, considering his mood, but sucks up her courage and moves forward anyway like the strong reporter she is. She’s got a story to get, and she hasn’t made near as much progress as she was wanting to.*

Cynthia Hall: Excuse me, Ace, but I…

The Accelerator: What do you want?? Just barging in here like that… I ought to suspend your ass!

Cynthia Hall: You wouldn’t do that, Ace.

The Accelerator: And why not?

Cynthia Hall: Because it’s a very cute ass.

Johnny Vegas: She’s got a point, boss.

The Accelerator: Shut up… ok, Cynthia, you’ve caught my attention. What do you need?

*With everyone now staring at her ass, Cynthia clears her throat and goes back to being a professional.*

Cynthia Hall: Well, Ace, the big question I have for you is the one no one else can seem to answer: who are the lumberjacks going to be in the Ataxia / TGO Match? Will it be the members of your Cabinet?

The Accelerator: Lumberjack match? Hell, I don’t know, Cynthia. That’s Ataxia’s business to arrange for there to be lumberjacks.

Cynthia Hall: Wait, so even you don’t know if there are even going to be guys around the ring tonight?

The Accelerator: Like I said, it was up to Ataxia to arrange that. He didn’t ask any of you guys, right?

*The guys in the room all shrug, showing that none of them were asked.*

The Accelerator: I will say this… Ataxia better damn well deliver on what he promised. He said a “Lumberjack” Match with The Great One would allow us to see the guys hurt each other unmercifully. No lumberjacks means a boring main event, and I hate boring main events.

Bucky Johnson: I hate them, too.

The Accelerator: Yeah, I know you do, Bucky… which is why I’m still annoyed at you for taking the pin last week.

Bucky Johnson: I said I was sorry!

Johnny Vegas: Sorry doesn’t cut it sometimes, Johnson. And I haven’t forgotten or forgiven yet.

The Accelerator: Breathe deep, boyos. No need for confrontation right now, not when we get to watch Ataxia and The Great One beat the *bleep* out of each other. Is that it, Cynthia?

Cynthia Hall: I suppose so, Mr. President. So after all my work today… all the people I talked to… nobody knows about the Lumberjacks. I guess it’s a mystery that’ll have to be solved when the match starts. Back to you guys.

*We go back to the ring.*

Jones: Ok, so it’s not going to be the NFB. It’s not going to be the Roman Empire. And it’s not going to be the President’s Cabinet. I’m stumped.

Rockwell: Did anyone ask Xtreme? Maybe he’s a one-man lumberjack!

Hood: Y’know, he kind of DOES look like a lumberjack, doesn’t he? He wears that plaid shirt every so often…

Jones: It’s rather useless to speculate at this point, when we’re only a few moments away from finding out. Let’s head to Minos and get the official announcement to kick things off!

Minos: The next match is scheduled for one fall, and will be a “Lumberjack” Match! Introducing first, he is no stranger to controversy, as he continues to be the most mysterious wrestler in the GCWA… standing 5’11” and weighing 215 lbs… from parts unknown, here is Ataxia!

*As “Die Die Die My Darling” by Metallica plays, Ataxia comes out of the back to the cheers of the crowd. Their reaction, though, doesn’t seem to matter to the masked man, who approaches the ring at a good pace.*

Jones: Ataxia got himself a new assistant this week, apparently, although she doesn’t seem to be out here for this match.

Rockwell: Would you bring a girl out, when lumberjacks are going to be all out there with her? I mean, in these kinds of matches, anything can happen!

Jones: Good point.

Rockwell: Hey, you think that girl’s found out Ataxia’s true identity yet? Maybe, y’know, we could pool our money, see if she’s open to a bribe.

Hood: I’ve got… three dollars and twenty-eight, no, twenty-nine cents.

Jones: I have to save my cash for grocery day.

Rockwell: You cheap *bleepers*.

Minos: His opponent is a legend in the business, and is a former OCW World Heavyweight Champion… he is also the leader of Nobody’s F’n Better… standing 7’0” and weighing 310 lbs… from Dallas, Texas… here is The Great One!

*Despite the ‘home field advantage’, The Great One is still getting heavily booed as he comes out to “Here We Are Juggernaut” by Coheed & Cambria. He laughs at the reaction, even as he struts confidently towards the ring. He doesn’t seem hesitant at all, seemingly not caring who the lumberjacks are going to be.*

Hood: Everyone bow to the man!

Rockwell: I only bow to the big guy, Hood, and definitely not The Great One!

Jones: TGO had a wild road trip this past week with Liam Shayde, whom we saw earlier. My only question is, what will TGO do now that carnies all over the world are thinking about going after him?

Hood: A lot of people hate what they can’t be, Jonesy. The Great One is untouchable!

Rockwell: Oh, trust me, Hood. He’s about to get ‘touched’.

Jones: You almost sound like you’re rooting for Ataxia, Adrian.

Rockwell: I know, and it’s not a good feeling. But since there’s no way in *bleeping* hell I’m going to cheer for TGO, I kind of have no choice.

Hood: You can say all you want, Adrian, but I know you’re a closet NFB fan. So get off your ass and come out of the closet!

Rockwell: …

Jones: Yeah, let’s just get to the match.

*The Bell Rings.*

Rockwell: Ok, we’ve got our two wrestlers. We’ve got Head Referee Bell in there, as senile as he is. So where’s the lumberjacks?

Jones: Well, Cynthia was trying all night to find lumberjacks, but no one confessed to being part of this one.

Rockwell: Hah! That’d be hilarious if Ataxia couldn’t manage to get ONE guy to sign up to be a lumberjack for him!

Hood: Y’know, this WAS Ataxia’s idea… maybe the lumberjacks are only in his mind?

Jones: That would make this definitely the most bizarre lumberjack match in history, I think.

*The Great One looks around the ringside area, obviously pleased with the fact that no one’s there. Ataxia doesn’t seem bothered by it, leaning comfortably on the turnbuckle and watching. TGO steps forward, shrugging his shoulders, and starts to taunt Ataxia, telling him that it looks like he’s unloved. Ataxia doesn’t move, still quietly staying in the corner. TGO is laughing now, trying to control himself with little success. Meanwhile, though, there seems to be something going on. People are getting pushed aside all around the front rows, moving out of the way as others come through. Individuals start jumping over the railing, with GCWA Security not making any move to stop them.*

Jones: What on Earth is going on?

Hood: We’re being invaded!

Rockwell: Damn, who are these fools?

Jones: It’s impossible to tell, Adrian… because they’re ALL wearing Ataxia masks!!

Hood: Oh my god…. I dreamed about this last week… please, God, wake me up screaming again!!

Jones: Sorry, Hood, but I don’t think this is a dream!

*The Great One’s laughter has stuck in his throat, as he’s now glancing at all the people suddenly surrounding the ring. All of them are, indeed, wearing Ataxia masks, keeping their identities secret. Some are men, some are women, but all look to be in extremely good shape. The fans are cheering loudly at the appearance of the Ataxia Army, as Ataxia himself continues to stay in the corner, nodding his head. He turns back towards The Great One and raises a hand towards him, as if to say, “You were saying?” The Great One does not look pleased.*

Hood: Damnit, are all of these guys aligned with Ataxia? This is completely unfair!

Jones: Ataxia got the match created, Hood, so he had the right to choose the lumberjacks. Of course, I’m sure Ace and Lurrr had no objections to it, either.

Rockwell: Nope, I’m sure they didn’t.

Hood: This isn’t worth the fight, TGO. Just get out of there!

Jones: And how would he do that, Hood? The ring’s surrounded!

*Cursing heavily, The Great One again surveys the crowd around the ring… but then turns and charges, taking a heavy swing at Ataxia! But Ataxia steps around it, causing TGO to go into the corner instead. As TGO spins around, Ataxia’s there, immediately snapping off several boots to TGO’s stomach, driving him down with the Learn Your Lesson!! The fans are loving it, even as Ataxia backs off a few steps, but then runs back in, getting a running knee to the chest of the big man!! The Great One struggles to get up, holding painfully onto his side as if having bruised ribs. He uses the ropes to get up, shaking his head, and then turns… with Ataxia coming in with a scorching dropkick that knocks TGO up and over the ropes and to the outside!! Immediately, the masked lumberjacks move in, attacking TGO, who managed to land on his feet. TGO is already moving, though, shoving several back and diving back under the ropes, even as they cling to his legs… with Ataxia immediately dropping an elbow on the back of TGO’s head!!*

Hood: Son of a… this just isn’t right!!

Jones: TGO’s got the odds stacked against him, no question. He’s got to find a way to put Ataxia away, but he’s also got to watch his back from all the guys on the outside.

Rockwell: I wonder how much money Ataxia had to pay these freaks to be here tonight.

Jones: How do you know he needed to pay them?

Rockwell: You kidding? You think a bunch of them would volunteer to wear those ugly masks?

Hood: That’s it, I’m calling my Congressman! He’ll help!

*Inside the ring, The Great One’s taken several elbow drops, but is still fighting his way back to his feet. He shoves Ataxia away, trying to get a moment to catch his bearings. As he does so, a hand appears next to him, apparently reaching for his feet. TGO quickly stomps on the outstretched hand, driving the lumberjack back. This, though, once again gives Ataxia the opportunity, as he bounces off the ropes and comes back with a flying forearm!! TGO’s down, with Ataxia dashing to the ropes and coming off with the Revivifier!!! He lands perfectly on TGO and makes the cover, trying to hold the big man down… 1… 2… but The Great One kicks out in time! Ataxia doesn’t even bother to argue with Head Referee Bell, instead pulling up TGO for more violence.*

Jones: So far, TGO just hasn’t been able to get started, thanks to all the distractions from the outside.

Rockwell: Explain to me why people cheer for Ataxia again? He’s a masked freak who’s willing to cheat and deceive to win! I don’t get it!

Hood: No, damnit, don’t put me on hold again!!! ARRRRGGGHHH!!!

Jones: Congressman call not going well, Hood?

Hood: This is an emergency, damnit! TGO needs help!

*The fans chant along as Ataxia slams The Great One’s head into the top turnbuckle pad, getting it to a 10 count. The Great One is dazed now, trying to pull himself back together, as Ataxia turns and points out to the lumberjacks once more. The crowd erupts, eagerly wanting to see TGO in a 20-on-1 battle. Ataxia nods with them and turns, grabbing TGO by the arm and whipping him towards the ropes, no, TGO puts on the brakes and stops it, before then yanking Ataxia in towards him and twisting him over with a gutwrench suplex!! Ataxia’s down, as The Great One takes a moment to recover. He pulls himself up, wiping a hand across his mouth while stepping over to his masked foe. As Ataxia tries to get to his feet, TGO’s there, grabbing Ataxia by the throat and throwing him down with a chokeslam!!! The wind goes out of everyone in the arena, as TGO makes the cover… 1… 2… but Ataxia gets out of the pin attempt!*

Jones: Here comes the fight from TGO, as his power is truly something to be respected!

Hood: Nevermind, bitch. TGO doesn’t need help from anyone! *click*

Rockwell: Did you just call a congressman a bitch?

Hood: Nah, just his secretary.

Rockwell: Ahhh, ok… so Ace should be expecting a call tonight?

Hood: Probably so.

Jones: *shaking head*

*The Great One has Ataxia back up now, locking an arm between Ataxia’s legs. Before Ataxia can fight free, TGO lifts him into the air and takes him down hard with a pumphandle slam!! Once again, TGO covers the masked wrestler, glaring out at the others outside the ring. Head Referee Bell comes in… 1… 2… but Ataxia manages to kick free again. The Great One, annoyed, gets behind Ataxia and paintbrushes the back of his head, showing his disdain for the man. As Ataxia struggles to get up, TGO waits, sizing him up. He steps in, grabbing the rising Ataxia and lifting him over his head in a gorilla press!! With a dark smile, TGO then turns… and launches Ataxia over the top rope, into the crowd of masked men!!! However, the lumberjacks hold their ground, shockingly catching Ataxia in mid-air!! They lower him gently to the ground, clearly having no plans to attack him!! TGO, pissed, kicks at the ropes and turns to Head Referee Bell, bitterly complaining to him about what’s happening. All Bell can do is shrug his shoulders, having no power to make lumberjack changes.*

Jones: We pretty much expected that these lumberjacks wouldn’t be “impartial”, but it’s definitely been confirmed now!

Rockwell: Nope, Ataxia definitely stacked the deck in his favor.

Hood: This is a true travesty of justice! But if TGO has to crush each and every one of these masked frauds, he’ll do it! You’ll see!

Jones: Speaking of seeing… anyone know which one out there is the real Ataxia?

Rockwell: Ummm… I don’t know… I took my eyes off of him, and now… I mean, he’s the sweaty one, right?

Hood: They’re all sweaty!

Jones: TGO just got a new problem to deal with!

*The Great One has also noticed that Ataxia’s not exactly standing out in the crowd for once. He’s peering carefully at all of the masks, trying to discern the tiny difference that will tell him where his foe is. Head Referee Bell looks unsure as well, scratching his head and debating a countout, but knowing that one isn’t legal in a lumberjack match. Suddenly, one of the masked men jumps up on the apron, with TGO immediately turning and taking a swing at him. The man drops back down, out of range, as a second masked person, this one a woman, hopping up on the other side. TGO spins towards her and takes a step, but quickly realizes that there’s no chance on her. He turns back, flinging an elbow at a third man up on the apron. This one connects, sending the man flying. TGO laughs, thinking maybe he got the right one… not realizing that another man is now in the ring. As TGO turns, the man gives him a kick in the stomach, then drops with a double-arm DDT, hammering him in!! The man, obviously Ataxia, then makes the cover, with Bell hesitating before making the count… 1… 2… TGO barely gets out in time!*

Hood: Whew!

Jones: The mind games continue, and they nearly ended up causing this match to be decided, guys!

Rockwell: The lumberjacks are always a major part of these matches, but I can’t remember seeing one look this one-sided towards one individual!

Jones: And amazingly as it is, guys, I think it’s about to get worse! More lumberjacks are on the way!

Hood: Oh no!

*The camera pans up to the entryway, as several individuals have appeared, all wearing their own Ataxia masks. The four men don’t waste any time, as they run down the aisle towards the ring.*

Rockwell: So why are we getting new guys now? Hey, wait a minute…

Hood: What now?

Rockwell: That guy on the right… the black one… that’s gotta be Lorenzo Demarco!

Jones: Hey, and I think I see some face-paint underneath the one’s mask on the left... could that be The Lost Soul?!?!

Hood: … Nope, I think you’re wrong, I think those are just more lumberjacks…

Rockwell: Damnit, that’s the NFB and you know it, Hood! They’re getting involved in this match even though they’ve been banned!

Hood: Prove that it’s them, then, Adrian! Everyone’s wearing masks!! Ha ha ha!

*A section of the other lumberjacks, obviously not fooled, move up the aisle to meet the newcomers, as a wild, Ataxia-filled brawl breaks out!! Even as the fighting continues out there, in the ring, we see the real Ataxia (at least, most likely the real one) has climbed to the top turnbuckle. He balances himself, looking down at The Great One on the mat. Ataxia is ignoring the activity outside, as he leaps off, spinning into the Fall of Angels!! But The Great One rolls to the side, avoiding the strike, with Ataxia smashing hard into the canvas!! TGO, sensing his chance, rolls over and gets a handful of tights, trying to hang on as Head Referee Bell slides in… 1… 2… but Ataxia still manages to escape! TGO gets back to his feet, shaking his head, before reaching down to pull the man up. On the outside, the fighting continues, although it’s impossible to tell who is winning and who is losing.*

Jones: It’s absolute chaos out here with the lumberjacks brawling with each other!

Rockwell: I see at least half a dozen fights going on… which means that some of Ataxia’s own guys are probably brawling with each other in the confusion!

Hood: When you don’t know which mask to trust, you attack them all! Wooo!

*As the wild brawl continues outside, The Great One is back up now, hoisting Ataxia into position for his Tombstone Powerbomb!! It looks to be over… except that Ataxia blocks being lifted, managing to score a low blow!! TGO stumbles away, gasping, as he leans on the ropes. Suddenly, though, two lumberjacks jump on either side of him, hanging onto his arms!! The Great One struggles to pull himself free, even as another lumberjack on the far side slides a steel chair into the ring!! Ataxia, seeing it, immediately picks it up, before turning and coming at the helpless TGO!! He swings… and the two lumberjacks immediately shove TGO aside and duck out of the way, as Ataxia hits the ropes instead, causing the chair to rebound into his face!!!*

Jones: Damn!!! That must have hurt!!

Rockwell: Those two… that must have been Shayde and Chase!! Somehow, they snuck free due to being able to blend in better than Demarco and TLS!!

Hood: Once again, Adrian… prove it!! Without proof, there’s nothing that can be done!

Jones: This looks bad for Ataxia!

*Ataxia is struggling to get up in the ring now, rubbing where the chair impacted him. He looks dazed, as he struggles to pull himself together. One of the two lumberjacks is near him now, trying to get into the ring, only to be stopped by Head Referee Bell. The other one tries to come in the back way, grabbing Ataxia from behind, but Ataxia manages to shove him away, turning and getting a forearm shot that drives him back. Ataxia then turns… and The Great One blasts him with the chair!!! The steel virtually folds up from the impact, as Ataxia collapses to the mat!! TGO then repositions the chair and turns, pulling Ataxia up… and dropping him onto the chair with Greatness Personified!!! The fans are booing heavily, even as The Great One turns Ataxia over and makes the cover. Bell, finally free of the lumberjack, turns and drops for the count… 1… 2… 3!!!!!*

Minos: Here is your winner… The Great One!

Hood: YES!!!! Another victory for TGO!!!

Jones: Ataxia seemed to have everything in his favor, but once again, TGO and the NFB changed the game mid-way through!

Rockwell: Damn, can NFB win ANYTHING without cheating?

Hood: And, what, all the lumberjacks being on Ataxia’s side wasn’t cheating? You hypocrites!

Jones: So The Great One stays undefeated in the GCWA, at least for now. The NFB stands strong again…

*Outside the ring, most of the Ataxia-wearing lumberjacks are either down or departing. To the side, two Lumberjacks can be seen laughing, possibly being Chase and Shayde. Of course, it’s nearly impossible to be sure, which is clearly what the NFB were counting on once they found out about the lumberjacks. In the ring, The Great One has his hands raised in the air, feeling triumphant. Behind him, though, another Ataxia-masked individual has entered the ring, via the turnbuckle!! The masked figure leaps off, smashing TGO in the back with a surprise missile dropkick!!!*

Jones: So we’re… Whoa!!

Hood: HEY!!! The Match Is Over!!

Rockwell: Apparently not for this guy!!

*As The Great One tries to get up, the masked wrestler picks up the steel chair from the ground and tosses it hard at the man. TGO turns, taking the hit off of his back and falling back to his knees. The masked man moves in, wanting to do more damage, but now the other members of the NFB are sliding into the ring! The black masked man (Demarco) is the first to grab at the wrestler, trying to hold onto him. He fights back, swinging at all the members of the NFB, then darts for the ropes to escape. But he’s soon tackled and held down, as they gang up on him.*

Jones: Whoever it is, he tried to escape but was caught!

Hood: Good!! Take the guy out and shoot him for daring to put his hands on TGO!

Rockwell: Is this one of the guys who attacked him last week??

Hood: Hey… yeah… yeah!! It’s got to be!! Oh, man, murderize this guy!

*The Great One gets back up, a large welt on his back from where the chair hit. The masked man is still fighting against the NFB, struggling to get free. However, as he shoves away from one of them, TGO steps in and grabs at the mask, yanking it off… and revealing Jaiden Rishel!!!*

Jones: It’s Rishel!!! The former member of the NFB who got kicked out!

Rockwell: Aw, hell, we should have known!

Hood: The punk just signed his own suicide note!

* The crowd cheers as they seen Rishel revealed, standing defiantly in the middle of the ring. The rest of the NFB, along with TGO, surround the man, preparing to deliver a serious beating to the man. Suddenly, though, someone lands right next to Rishel!!! It’s the other masked man, who quickly grabs hold of Rishel and flies back upwards, using a guide line to head back towards the roof before the NFB can grab them!!*

Jones: Whoa!!! Where’d he come from?

Rockwell: From above, man!! Open your damn eyes!

Hood: *Bleep!* Just when we had him!!

Jones: So wait, Rishel’s one of the masked men then from last week… but who’s the other??

Hood: Crap! More mysteries!!

*The Great One is angrily gesturing to the rest of the NFB, telling them to head out and try and cut off the two men from their escape. They rush towards the back, as, far above, we can see Rishel and the other masked man making their way across the scaffolding along the ceiling. Rishel stops for a moment to look down, apparently flipping double birds towards TGO and the rest. They keep moving, as the picture slowly fades out.*

OOC: Although there were some worries with this one, it looks like we've pulled through (*whew*). Another card down, as we continue to build towards Heat Wave! Thanks to match-writers Ataxia, Bifford, & Mobley, who made the workload a lot easier to manage this week. As for segments... well, I wrote most of them, so yeah *l*.

Here's the card for next week:

Friday Night Inferno, August 13th, 2010

- Desayuno vs. Xtreme

- Jaiden Rishel vs. Arachne

- Ataxia vs. The Lost Soul

- Bucky Johnson vs. El Linchador vs. Lorenzo Demarco, Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion Triple Threat Match

- Chris Cortez vs. Liam Shayde, GCWA World Title #1 Contenders Match

- Derek Mobley(c) vs. Dangerous Dan, GCWA World Heavyweight Title Match

*Notice - Chance of a dark match, depending on roleplaying.*

Roleplaying will be from Friday, August 6thto Wednesday, August 11th, giving you 6 days to post your roleplays, 1 per day, 150-line limit. Remember, each must be in before 12:00am CST to count.

Good luck to all!