*As the ordering screen fades away, you settle back, ready for the action. You could be in a bar showing this great event for a minimum cover charge. You could be with a group of friends, watching at someone’s house. Or you could be on your own, not wanting to miss a minute of the action. The picture comes up on a strange shot for a wrestling show: snow falling on an empty field. As always, the voice of the GCWA is heard, speaking in its wonderfully deep tones.*

Voice: It is the time of Christmas. A time of giving, a time of joy, a time of fellowship towards your fellow man.

*The snow continues to fall as the camera starts to move forward, focusing around the empty field. Strange lumps can be seen, sticking out of the ground, completely covered by the winter storm.*

Voice: It is also a time of reflection, considering what has happened in the past year of one’s life. In the life of the GCWA, it has been a monumental year, full of controversy and collisions, fame and glory, shooting stars and falling heroes. Not all have successfully made the journey.

*Snow slides off of the strange objects, revealing that they are tombstones. It appears that the empty field is actually a graveyard. The camera moves in to focus on some of the names: Makorpal. The Payne Killers. Joshua Curtis. Rogie Nocturne. Seth Eldritch.*

Voice: Some have fallen, only to rise again, recovering like phoenix’s in the darkness.

*The camera focuses on one grave marker in particular, showing the name of “Twiztid”. The grave appears to be empty.*

Voices: Others have not fallen at all, achieving what they could only once dream of: championship glory in the GCWA.

*Visions begin to appear throughout the ‘field’: visions of Draco climbing up a ladder towards the championship hanging above him, of Lurrr standing triumphant after the Righteous Rumble, of other stars like Harvey Danger and Robert Santana wearing their championships proudly. We see a shot of the Danger Boiz flying in tandem across the ring, and another shot of The Big Bifford and Arachne both grinning with wide-open eyes towards the camera, a scary sight. Other wrestlers are pictured, continuing their battles, some of them just now starting to make their climb to the heights that others have achieved.*

Voice: It is the finish of 2009, but the start of greater travels in the months to come. It is a time to remember, a time to celebrate… and a time for destruction…

*Suddenly, fire seems to appear as if from underground, roasting the snow and causing it to evaporate. The tombstones explode, full of flames, as the place takes on the look and feel of the Apocalypse. Evil laughter can be heard, echoing across the plains, as a steel structure begins to take shape.*

Voice: For though this is a time of celebration… it’s also a time for Hell… Hell in a Cell!

*The cell appears more visible, glowing red-hot in front of the camera. The door seems to beckon, a threat to all those who enter within. The camera darts towards it, as flames erupt all around, consuming the shot. As it fades, we suddenly hear the roars of the live crowd in the Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, North Carolina, exploding through your speakers. The video cuts away, taking us to live footage of the Coliseum, with the fans all going wild as the pyro explodes, starting off the night for GCWA Wreck The Halls 2010!!*

*The camera swings around the crowd, all of whom look extremely psyched to be at the last live event of the GCWA in 2009! As usual, signs are focused on, showing everything from “I want whatever Bifford’s on!” to “D & D = Domination & Destruction!!” We also see all manner of fans, wearing different versions of GCWA memorabilia (which can all be purchased in your favorite retailers for good prices). We leave the fans behind to head to the special broadcast position, where Edward Jones & Anthony “Lightning” Logan are again in attendance.*

Jones: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our last Pay-per-view of the year, Wreck The Halls!! We’re set for a tremendous night of action, Anthony!

Logan: Can you believe it’s been one year since the Accelerator re-opened the doors of the GCWA?

Jones: It’s amazing how we’ve already had 50 shows since our return! This past year we’ve seen the emergence of new superstars like Marcus Ka’Derrion and the Danger Boiz, and we’ve also seen the vets like Draco, Lurrr, and Derek Mobley with gold around their waist. It seemed like only yesterday Ace was announcing the re-opening of the GCWA.

Logan : Tell me about it. Time sure flies when we’re having fun.

Jones: Speaking of flying what is that?

*The crowd is still on its feet from the opening, but now they’re cheering for a different reason. A chant grows throughout the audience, one familiar to all Christmas lovers: “Santa, Santa, Santa!” From above, descending from the rafters, a man wearing the distinctive red suit and beard comes down, with a big bag of presents on his back.*

Logan : Looks like Santa Claus is coming to town Jonesy!

Jones: I sure hope I get what I want this year. Last year, well, let’s not even talk about last year…

*Santa lands in the middle of the ring. The crowd is still on their feet as Santa retrieves a microphone and waits for the crowd to simmer down.*



Santa Claus: It’s that special time of year again boys and girls. Santa has his bag of goodies and I’m going to be spreading the Christmas cheer to the GCWA.

*Santa reaches into his bag and pulls out two presents.*

Santa Claus: The first two people I have gifts for are Edward Jones and Anthony Logan. These two young men have done a great job this year announcing the GCWA events. Come up here and get your presents guys.

Jones: Santa brought us presents? I can’t believe this.

Logan: There’s something funny about this Santa Claus…

Jones: C’mon, Logan, you want the presents or not?

*Of course Anthony does, so the two leave the announce table and walk to the ring. Santa hands Jones his present first. Jones eagerly unwraps the box. He pulls out a pair of platform shoes. Logan is giggling as Jones is a bit embarrassed by the gift.*

Logan: Hahaha. Maybe you can actually reach the toilet seat now with those on.

*The crowd roars with laughter.*

Jones: Yeah, well let’s see what Santa has for you.

*Logan reluctantly tears open his present and retrieves what appears at first to be a sheet of paper. He stares at it blankly.*

Jones: well, go on Logan, put it on.

Logan: Are you serious?


*Logan reluctantly puts it on his head and Jones is hysterical with laughter.*

Jones: I knew it! I knew you were Ace’s son. Look at the resemblance!

Logan: This is ridiculous; I look nothing like him, even with this bald head on.

*Jones points to the jumbotron and Logan sees himself with the bald head on. He quickly pulls it off. *

Jones: That was the best gift ever!

Logan: Yeah… why do you put your shoes on and walk back to the announce table?

Jones: Thank you for the presents Santa, we can’t wait to see what you have for everyone else.

Logan : (puts the bald head back on) Thank you Santa. Merry Christmas.

*Jones puts on his platform shoes on, but he’s still an inch or two shorter than Logan. The two men exit the ring as Santa hooks himself back up to the cable. On his way up Santa starts throwing down candy canes and small GCWA figures as the crowd scrambles to get them.*

Jones: I guess we can be glad that Santa was, at least, thoughtful, huh, Anthony?

Logan: Thoughtful? In giving you platform shoes and me a skin cap? I don’t know about that, Jonesy. But hell, it’s Christmas, and it made the fans laugh, so who cares, right?

Jones: Tis the season. That being said, while it was great to have Santa here, we’ve got a lot more to cover tonight, and we need to get started! First off, we need to discuss a match that happened earlier tonight, before we hit the air.

Logan: Yeah, we had two great wrestlers in Scott Caine and Marcus Ka’Derrion going at it, although it had an ending that, I’m sure, few people expected.

*We switch to footage from earlier in the night, as we see the entrances of first Scott Caine, then Marcus Ka’Derrion. Clearly, Ka’Derrion got the bigger reception from the fans, who want to see him make a big return in the new year. The two wrestlers went at it, displaying their finely honed craft of wrestling maneuvers. Both had close falls, but neither seemed to be able to put the other wrestler away. Things turned nasty after the dark match referee was knocked down, allowing Caine to start pulling out his cheating ways. Ka’Derrion answered, though, with some questionable moves of his own, including taking Caine over the top rope with a Cactus clothesline! The two men began fighting down the aisle and towards the back, not stopping for any reason. As the referee came back into the fray and counted both men out, the fighting continued, ending the match. Afterwards, the two fought to the back, showing that neither has fully resolved their issues with the other.*

Jones: You would have thought that, between those two, we could have had a solid winner, but it just didn’t happen tonight.

Logan: Nope, the two men seemed more intent on hurting their opponent than getting a win. Sometimes, when both men are like that, there are no winners. From what I hear, these two are still fighting somewhere in the back!

Jones: Hopefully, we’ll get an update on that later on in the show. For now, we’ve got more matches to get to!

Logan: Hell yes! We’ve got three great title matches tonight, including Hell In A Cell, and I don’t want to miss any of them!

Jones: Then let’s get started, Anthony! Minos, as you have done for all of 2009, get us started, will you?

*We go to a video shot before the match, showing the debuts of three wrestlers: Aaron Styles, Grimm, and Bucky Johnson. Each is shown making an impact on the GCWA, from Styles scoring multiple surprise wins, Grimm immediately earning the hatred of the GCWA fans, and Johnson making a sizable impression while debuting at the Righteous Rumble. All three men are shown fighting each other, with the announcement later coming out that they would be facing off at the pay-per-view in a #1 Contenders match. We switch back to the live feed, where Minos is ready to get us going.*

Minos: The next match of the evening is scheduled for one fall. The winner of this match will go on to become the #1 Contender to the GCWA Television Title in 2010! First, coming to the ring, he has made a strong impression since debuting at the 2009 Righteous Rumble, standing 6’4” and weighing 250 lbs, from Boston, Massachusetts, here is “The Retarded Beast” Bucky Johnson!

*Johnson walks out all smiles as the crowd gives him a cheer. One fan is shown to his side, holding up a sign that says “Congrats To Mr. & Mrs. Johnson!” Bucky walks down the aisle to “Crack A Bottle” by Eminem, nodding to the fans. He turns towards the camera for a second, blowing a kiss (assumedly towards his new wife), before getting into the ring.*

Jones: It was a great week for Bucky, as he married his sweetheart, Darcy!

Logan: Yeah, all too often wrestlers have to deal with dark and tragic moments. It was great to hear about someone actually celebrating instead of mourning!

Jones: All that Bucky needs to complete this ‘perfect’ week is a victory here tonight. After that, I suppose he can go back to his honeymoon.

Logan: Oo la la!

Minos: Our second entrant earned numerous championships in the ICW, and is now looking to make a move in the GCWA. Standing 6’4” and weighing 226 lbs, from Fort Worth, Texas, here is “The Great One” Grimm!

*The cheers turn to boos as soon as “Soul Survivor” by Young Jeezy begins to play. Grimm walks out on his own, looking around at the crowd with a smirk on his face. It’s unclear where the rest of the Hitmen are. Grimm walks down the aisle on his own, heading towards the ring.*

Jones: Grimm did a lot this past week, including apparently bombing Bucky Johnson’s wedding reception!

Logan: Is it confirmed that he did that? I mean, we never actually saw Bucky. Wouldn’t it be funny if he bombed the wrong wedding reception?

Jones: Uh, no, Anthony, that wouldn’t be funny at all.

Logan: Well, it’d be a little funny. Just picture the preacher with cake running down his face. You have to chuckle!

Jones: *sigh*

Minos: And finally, our third participant… he has racked up several impressive wins on his way through the GCWA, standing 6’8” and weighing in at 285 lbs, from Westerville, Ohio, here is Aaron Styles!

*The crowd gives some cheers for Styles, who walks out to “New Divide” by Linkin Park. He’s easily the largest man in the competition, as the camera has to lean upwards to catch all of him. The big man walks quickly down the aisle, ready for a brawl.*

Jones: Styles once again trained heavily for this one, putting in time at the gym to prepare for this one.

Logan: Yeah, he also headed home to his old high school, greeting the people he grew up with and promising a victory here tonight. Styles believes that he’s going to be the first GCWA Television Champion from Westerville.

Jones: I haven’t gone back to check the books, but I’d say that if he wins the belt, it’s a safe bet he’s the first one from there.

*The Bell Rings.*

Jones: Alright, time to decide a #1 Contender!

Logan: These three have been chomping at the bit to go at it here tonight. All three think that they will win, but only one earns that coveted title shot!

*Johnson immediately starts to move forward, jawing with Grimm, who responds with insults of his own. The two men are arguing as Styles watches from the corner, judging when to make his move. Referee Trixie is staying back, out of the way, knowing that she’s going to have to be on her toes for this one. Just before the fight starts, though, all three men are stopped in their tracks as “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor hits the speakers! The fans cheer as Peter “The Janitor” Vaughn walks out of the back, mic in hand!*

Jones: What the hell is the Janitor doing here?

Logan: I don’t know, Jonesy. I guess maybe he felt left out?

*Vaughn continues to walk towards the ring, even as he talks on the mic.*

Peter Vaughn: They almost got away with it… the biggest travesty in GCWA history! You fans know what I’m talking about.. the end of the Janitor’s Streak!!

*A small roar goes up from the fans as Vaughn continues to come towards the ring. Styles still has his eyes on his competition, while Grimm and Johnson are watching the Janitor’s approach.*

Peter Vaughn: I have been at every pay-per-view since May, ever since I was chosen by the President to fight for Ultimate Survival! I have punished, crescendo’ed, heated, rushed, and rumbled with the best of them, and tonight, it’s no different! The Janitor’s gotten the okie-dokie to be in this one, so watch your backs, because I’m cleaning up this ring and taking that contendership for myself!!

*Another cheer is heard as Vaughn throws away the mic and enters the ring, flexing his, well, muscles, for lack of a better term, at the other wrestlers inside.*

Jones: Oh, man, we have a surprise fourth entrant for contendership!

Logan: I don’t know how legal this is, but hell, if it means we get to watch the Janitor get pummeled, I’m all for it!

Jones: We’ve got a Fatal Fourway instead of a Triple Threat!

*Vaughn moves towards Grimm, pointing a finger at him as if calling him out for the first challenge. Grimm responds by knocking Vaughn’s hand away, then stepping into him, scoring a right hand that puts Vaughn on his back! Grimm laughs, then turns, only to get nailed by a side punch from Johnson! Grimm shakes it off and returns with one of his own, with the two men throwing shots back and forth between them! Neither man is going down, but both reel after landing hard shots simultaneously, staggering them. As soon as they’re off-balance, Styles enters the fray, running in from the corner and landing a double clothesline on both men!! The crowd pops for Styles as he reaches down and hauls Grimm up, deciding to go after the most hated wrestler in the match, even as Johnson and Vaughn concentrate on recovering.*

Jones: The action’s underway, and it’s already turning wild, with Styles taking advantage of the personal grudge growing between Johnson and Grimm!

Logan: Yeah, those two really don’t like each other, especially after Grimm’s antics at the church. That being said, in a match like this, personal grudges can easily cause you to lose focus and allow someone else to pick up the victory.

Jones: It’s clearly helping Styles at this point, as he’s taken control!

*Styles uses his big boot to choke Grimm in the corner, working him over, even as Bucky gets back to his feet. He considers going after Styles, but then sees Vaughn pulling himself up and heads that direction instead, attacking the smaller wrestler. He punches Vaughn back into the corner, landing some heavy body blows on the Janitor. Meanwhile, on the other side, Styles started to climb up the ‘buckle to do more damage, but was stopped as Grimm went to the eyes, blinding him. Grimm pushes Styles down, then turns him into the corner, putting the boots to his midsection. Grimm then looks back towards Bucky, a strange communication going on between them. The two men each grab an arm, with Johnson whipping Vaughn towards the center, while Grimm did the same to Styles. However, Styles reacts, reaching out and grabbing a running Vaughn and heaving him over his head!! Vaughn, his arms flailing in panic, luckily manages to land on Grimm with a splash, taking the man down!! Styles, meanwhile, continues on, crashing into a surprised Johnson and squashing him in the corner!! Johnson slumps to the side as Styles looks back towards Vaughn, who gets himself up, smiling towards the big man.*

Jones: Nice teamwork from Styles and Vaughn there, with reversals that took Johnson and Grimm completely by surprise!

Logan: Yeah, you never know when partnerships are going to form in matches like this. Unfortunately, though, it doesn’t matter how well you work as a team, because only one man will get the victory in the end.

*Styles moves over to Johnson, pulling him up, with Vaughn coming over to help. Styles gives him a hard stare, with Vaughn lifting his hands up to make sure that Styles knows he isn’t going to backstab him. He nods towards Johnson, wanting them to do a double suplex, although Styles seems skeptical, due to the major size difference. As expected, while Vaughn tries to help, it’s mostly Styles lifting, snapping Johnson over with a one-armed suplex! With Johnson down, Vaughn points over towards Grimm, who is getting up in the corner. Vaughn points to himself, with Styles nodding and grabbing Vaughn’s arm, snapping him towards the recovering wrestler. But Grimm, seeing Vaughn coming, grabs hold of the ropes and pushes himself up, getting both feet in the air to kick the Janitor in the face!! Vaughn slides to a stop underneath Grimm, who immediately drops back down and charges, putting all his weight forward in order to ram a shoulder into Styles, knocking him back!! Styles falls into the corner, with Grimm getting up and dusting himself off quickly before continuing his attack.*

Logan: Grimm’s back in the fight!

Jones: Even without his henchmen there to take part on his behalf, Grimm is still a dangerous threat on his own. He most likely has the most experience of all the competitors in this one.

*Grimm continues to work over Styles in the corner, wrapping both hands around Styles’ throat to choke him! Referee Trixie quickly moves in to stop that, threatening a DQ and giving a quick 5 count, forcing Grimm to break. Grimm glares at Trixie, but then seems to study her again, liking what he sees. He nods to her as if to say, I’ll see you later, then turns back to Styles, landing a hard right to the jaw that bends the big man back over the ‘buckle for a second. Grimm rears back to swing again, but then suddenly moves, dodging to the side, sensing the incoming presence of Bucky! Johnson smashes into Styles instead with a running avalanche, crushing Styles into the corner! Johnson then turns, with Grimm popping a thumb into his eye, blinding him! Grimm moves in, confident, grabbing Johnson by the head and preparing for a bulldog. However, before he can move, Vaughn, back up, comes after him, only to have Grimm drop a shoulder, flipping Vaughn over top! The Janitor crashes behind them, with Grimm then starting to move, but the distraction costs him, as Johnson suddenly picks Grimm up, dropping him backwards with an atomic suplex!! Johnson then rolls himself on top for a cover… 1… 2.. and Grimm manages to kick out!*

Jones: For a second there, I thought Grimm was taking down everyone, but Bucky had just enough time to recover and make a comeback!

Logan: Yeah, and very nearly won away the contendership as well! Even with four men in the ring, the pins can come at just the right time, when the rest of your opposition is unable to intervene. If Grimm hadn’t gotten out of that attempt, we’d have a new #1 contender!

*With referee Trixie moving back out of the way, Johnson is back up, dusting himself off. He reaches down to grab Grimm, but suddenly is grabbed himself from behind by Styles! The big man lifts Johnson in the air, then throws him back down, slamming him down onto Grimm!! Both men roll in pain, with Styles standing over them. He drops, trying a pin on Johnson… 1… 2… and Johnson kicks out. Styles immediately moves to his right, dropping onto Grimm… 1… 2… and Grimm gets his arm up as well! Styles, annoyed, stands back up, grabbing at Grimm and taking him over to the corner and slamming him head-first into it. Meanwhile, Vaughn is back up, watching. He’s debating heavily about attacking Styles from behind, considering that he liked working with him earlier in the match. Instead, Vaughn goes towards a recovering Johnson, grabbing him from behind and trying to roll him up! In typical Janitor fashion, it doesn’t quite work, with Vaughn unable to hang onto the legs. He still lands on top, though, for a cover… 1… 2… Johnson shoves Vaughn off, saving both himself and the match.*

Jones: That would have left the crowd speechless, Anthony, if the Janitor had gotten the win!

Logan: Yeah, considering he wasn’t previously announced in this contest. But hey, that’s the GCWA for you… anything can happen!

*In the corner, Styles lands a few more shots to Grimm, leaving him sagging on the ropes. The big man then turns back, considering Vaughn, who has put on a modified leg choke on Johnson, trying to wear the Retarded Beast down. Styles starts that direction, possibly to break it up in case of submission, but that’s all stopped with Grimm kicking out from behind and scoring a low blow!! Trixie, completely occupied with Johnson and Vaughn, missed it, as Styles crumples forward, devastated. Grimm follows it up by pulling Styles up and twisting him around, dropping him with an impressive version of the Grimm Reaper!!! Styles is down and hurting badly, with Grimm taking a moment to yell over to Trixie before making the cover. The referee hurries over to make the count, dropping next to them… 1… 2… and the Janitor comes flying in, barely getting there in time to make the save!!*

Logan: At the last second, Vaughn breaks it up!

Jones: If he hadn’t, I think this one would be over, as Styles is barely moving right now! Grimm just had victory yanked away from him!

Logan: Yeah, and I don’t think he’s very happy about it!

*Styles slowly rolls towards the apron, out of range, while Grimm pulls himself up, glaring at the Janitor. Vaughn, for his part, takes up a Karate Kid-like pose, waiting. Grimm’s in no mood for the joke, as he comes in, blocking Vaughn’s silly attempt at a crane kick and leveling him with a clothesline! The Janitor’s down, stunned, with Grimm reaching down to haul him up. He shoots Vaughn into the ropes, then, as he comes back, Grimm catches him and spins around, landing his second Grimm Reaper of the match!!!! The Janitor flattens out, not moving, his match basically over. Grimm gets up, once again showing off his physique towards the audience. However, before Grimm can go down for a cover on the downed man, he gets nailed from behind by a charging Bucky Johsnon, who sends Grimm over the top rope!!! With Grimm out, Johnson, a bit unsteady on his feet, nonetheless heads for the turnbuckle, climbing up and immediately taking flight with the Bucking Bronco frogsplash!! He crashes down onto the Janitor, with Trixie there to make the count… 1… 2… 3!!!!*

Minos: Here is your winner, and the new #1 Contender for the GCWA Television Championship, “The Retarded Beast” Bucky Johnson!

Jones: And Johnson manages to take the victory, pinning the Janitor!

Logan: Man, I thought Grimm had this one all locked up, too! But he let his eyes off the prize right at the end, and Bucky was able to take him out of the match long enough to score the pin!

Jones: Too bad for Grimm, but a great night for Bucky, as he gets his first GCWA pay-per-view win, possibly setting him up for a great run in 2010!

*Johnson gets his hand raised by Trixie, smiling out at the crowd. Meanwhile, Grimm, on the outside, looks furious, cursing loudly at Johnson ‘stealing’ his win. Styles is already up on the other side, not exactly looking to be in a good mood himself. The Janitor is still down, seeing stars, unicorns, and whatever else wrestlers see when they’re knocked senseless. The action switches to the backstage area, more specifically to a hallway of locker rooms. The usual hustle and bustle of the live events seems to be more than double as this was not only a Pay-Per-View event, but the last of the year. The World Champion, Draco, is seen walking down this hallway. Draco walked stiffly showing signs of some damage even before his match. There are bandages on his wrist and his face. He’s also wearing a pair of sunglasses.*

*Draco stopped and looked at one of the doors. He dropped his duffel bag and glared at one particular door. It was the door of the number one contender. Draco reached up and padded the thick bandage covering the wound that Lurrr had started at the last Inferno. Draco reached toward the door, but before he could grab the door there was a voice behind him.*

Reed M. Shin: I wouldn’t do that.

*Draco spun around to see the Head of Security and half a dozen security guards. Draco took a step toward the man in charge. There was no love lost between these two.*

Draco: Listen, I don’t give a shit who you think you are, but I am going to do whatever the hell I want.

*Neither man backed down. Draco dropped his sunglasses. There was an intensity in his eyes as he glared at the taller man. The other security members were worried about what would happen.*

Reed M. Shin: The boss wants to have a word with you.

*Draco looked over his shoulder at Lurrr’s locker room and nearly growled in disgust. He grabbed his duffel bag and walked straight through the Head of Security. Draco sent his shoulder hard into the staff member. Draco continued walking, making his way to the President’s office.*

Reed M. Shin: I want two of you men standing at this door until this match. I doubt that bastard is done. The rest of you, come with me. We’ve got some planning to wrap up.

*Draco turned the corner as the security team moved on a bit lighter as they left two sentries at Lurrr’s door. We cut away from this shot to another backstage, where Cynthia Hall and the camera crew are literally running through the halls.*

Cynthia Hall: Here we are backstage where we were told a huge announcement will be made! We have no idea what this could be, but at such an exciting event like Wreck the Halls, it has to be huge!

*Cynthia rounds the corner and we see Harvey Danger standing in front of a large artificial Christmas tree. The tree is sort of lopsided, with most of the ornaments to one side as if it was decorated by a third grader. The star at the top hangs off to one side and the entire tree leans off to the right. Scattered across the floor at the base of the tree are various shapes and sizes of Christmas presents. Harvey smiles underneath his floppy Santa Claus hat. Cynthia stops in her tracks and even turns to leave.*

Cynthia Hall: Ugh, it’s just Harvey. Let’s go.

Harvey Danger: No, Cynthia, wait! You’re at the right place, this is the big announcement!

*Cynthia shoots daggers in Harvey’s direction and Harvey just smiles. Sighing, she resigns herself to do her job and cover this “story.”*

Cynthia Hall: Fine… Ok ladies and gentlemen, I’m here with Harvey Danger. Harvey … take it away.

*She hands Harvey the microphone and starts walking off, but Harvey grabs hold of her wrist to prevent her from leaving. Cynthia looks terrified.*

Harvey Danger: Not so fast there, Miss Hall! As a matter of fact, there is a reason I asked for you to be the one to show up here! I’ve noticed something around here. This is December! It’s just days before Christmas, and yet, I’ve noticed nothing about the Christmas spirit! The only sort of spirit I’ve found around here is anger, apathy, depression, and revenge! Have you ever been to a Christmas party at a co-workers house, where not everyone gets along? And you just keep telling your date “Go get your coat now, honey… this is going to break into a major fight?” Well, that’s how it is around here.

*Cynthia is working to get her hand free, although she’s somewhat captivated by what Harvey has to say. Captivated, that is, as in she wants him to finish so that she can leave.*

Harvey Danger: All I see here is just rage, carnage and all around pathetic-ness. But have no worries! Harvey Danger has come up with a plan to save Christmas!

*Harvey pauses, expecting Cynthia to react with overwhelming joy. Instead, she rolls her eyes and yanks her arm free from his grip.*

Harvey Danger: Oh, um, well… I’ve taken it upon myself, to be everyone’s Secret Santa this year! I’ve always wanted to do a Secret Santa! Its fun just to SAY Secret Santa, plus it’s secret and that’s cool, like James Bond and junk! And the reason I’ve asked you to be here, Cynthia, is that you are FIRST on my list! So… here you go!

*Cynthia looks skeptical, but Harvey hands over a horribly wrapped package; more tape and ribbons than wrapping paper. Cynthia eyes it curious before smiling, unable to resist the excitement of receiving a present. It proves Harvey ’s point, anyway. She tears open the package only to find a Chia pet. The Chia pet’s box is battered and busted; looking like someone had kicked it down the hallway. Cynthia’s face falls and she looks up at Harvey, who is beaming.*

Harvey Danger: Do you like it? I’m sorry it’s so beat up, I had to buy it at the dollar store… you know, we have quite a bit of people so I had to stay on the thrifty side. But I immediately thought of you when I saw this one!

Cynthia Hall: You… thought of me… from a Chia pet shaped like a turtle?!

Harvey Danger: (A bit uneasy now) Uh… yes? I, er, noticed how lonely you are all of the time, chasing after men at the bars and clubs and everything after we finish taping the shows every week, and well, I, uh… thought you could use a friend.

*Cynthia drops her microphone and walks off camera. Harvey smiles after her, pleased with his first Secret Santa experience. He cups his hands to his mouth and calls after her:*

Harvey Danger: I named him for you already! It’s Charlie Chia! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, Cynthia!!

*Harvey hoists up a big black Hefty garbage bag full of “presents” and heads off in the opposite direction. We go back to ringside.*

Logan: A Chia pet? Yeah, Harvey has no idea how to handle the ladies, Jonesy.

Jones: Even I know better than to get a woman a gift like that!

Logan: Well, it wouldn’t be a GCWA pay-per-view without the antics of Harvey Danger, now, would it?

Jones: We’ve got a whole lot of gift-giving going on, but we’ve also got more fighting in our future! Let’s get to our next bout! This one goes back nearly a decade, showing that feuds can last forever in the world of professional wrestling!

*We switch to a quick video clip, showing much younger versions of “Twiztid” Arryk Rage and the Accelerator, from video borrowed from the Insane Championship Wrestling Federation. The Accelerator, as the ICWF World Heavyweight Champion, is shown battling Twiztid, with Ace coming out victorious in a match from the year 2000. We fast-forward to 2009, showing the re-birth of the GCWA, and the strange relationship between the two wrestlers throughout the year. We see shots of Arryk stealing the X Division Title and Ace’s efforts, through Titan 3, to get it back. We also see shots of Arryk’s transformations, including his run as Twiztid and his subsequent being Buried Alive, with the Accelerator apparently happy with the result. Finally, we see footage from recent events, as Rage tried to retire after losing the X Division Title, with the Accelerator keeping him from doing so, forcing him to continue to wrestle. Rage responded by going “On Strike”, allowing several wrestlers to pin him without fighting back, leading to tonight’s confrontation between the two men. We go back to Minos at ringside.*

Minos: The next match is scheduled as an “I Quit” Match! The only way to gain a victory is by making your opponent submit! Introducing first, he is a former GCWA X Division Champion, and is here tonight seeking redemption, standing 5’10” and weighing in at 212 lbs, from Detroit, Michigan, here is Arryk Rage!

*Rage walks out of the back to “Sound of Madness” by Shinedown, still wearing his “On Strike” t-shirt. He walks forward, hearing the mixed reaction from the crowd and loving it. He turns towards them, pointing towards his shirt, then suddenly ripping it off, revealing another black shirt underneath, this one an Arryk Rage special! The crowd starts cheering at the demise of the “Strike” shirt, even as Arryk continues on his way.*

Jones: This is one for the books, as it’s a rematch from many years ago, in another federation! It’s also the first time we’ve seen the Accelerator in a wrestling match since his unfortunate “Steel Cage” Match with Lurrr back in June.

Logan: Yeah. We know that there have been problems between Arryk and Ace for years, but I honestly didn’t expect to see this match. Almost a decade after these two last met, can Arryk avenge a loss that has always haunted him?

Minos: His opponent is a former ICWF World Heavyweight Champion, among many other reigns, and is currently the President of the GCWA… standing 6’6” and weighing in at 280 lbs, now calling Dallas, Texas, home, here is the Accelerator!

*The fans erupt as “Leave You Far Behind” by Lunatic Calm reaches the speakers. The Accelerator, back in his old wrestling gear (but thankfully wearing a shirt on top), walks out of the back, moving his still-impressive biceps back and forth to limber up. He walks down the aisle, but not before snapping his fingers behind him. After a few seconds, several attendants come out of the entryway, each pushing a cart full of weapons forward behind the President!! Ace has a smile on his face and looks pretty relaxed, considering what’s to come.*

Logan: The fans should love this, as they’re going to see a man who’s rarely in action anymore going at it!

Jones: The President had to deal with some ‘personnel’ issues earlier this week, but with that resolved, he can now concentrate on the task at hand: putting Arryk Rage in his place!

Logan: So I take it you’re playing favorites in this one, Jonesy?

Jones: I just happen to think that the President is going to win, Anthony. It’s my own personal opinion, not influenced at all by the Accelerator’s ability to give out raises to his announcers.

Logan: Sure… glad I saved my money from the ICWF, because I don’t plan on kissing any ass during this one!

*The Bell Rings.*

*The Accelerator immediately leaves the ring as the bell sounds, going towards one of the bins he had brought out. After a second’s contemplation, he chooses one of his personal favorites, a large kendo stick, and turns, reentering the ring. Rage is just standing there, waiting, apparently, for the President to return. Ace raises the stick, daring Rage to come after him, but Arryk continues to just stand there, a small smile forming on his face. The President looks annoyed, waving for Arryk to get things started. He points to the crowd, apparently pointing out that they paid to see a fight. Ace then starts towards Rage, ready to get things going himself. But Arryk suddenly drops and rolls out of the ring, out of range! The fans start to boo as Rage moves around the ring, with the exasperated Accelerator watching him from in the ring.*

Jones: What is Arryk doing?

Logan: I don’t know, Jonesy. I mean, this was the fight he wanted, right? A rematch with the Accelerator, at a pay-per-view, giving him a chance to get some revenge on the man who wouldn’t let him out of his contract?

Jones: Very strange…

*The Accelerator turns to Head Referee Bell, bitterly exchanging some words with him. Bell seems nervous, but still does his duty, pointing out to Ace that, in an I Quit match, there isn’t a countout or a disqualification option. It has to end with a submission. The Accelerator looks back out of the ring towards Arryk, who has found himself a microphone, bringing it up to his lips.*

Arryk Rage: So, Ace, when I left that note, telling you that we could meet tonight and finish this, what were you expecting? I would show up here and wrestle you as per my contract? I would give a world-renowned battle between Twiztid and the Accelerator that would blow the roof off here and make you even more money? Is that what you thought?

*The Accelerator can be seen in the ring, looking frustrated. He’s still absent-mindedly swinging the kendo stick back and forth, with Head Referee Bell making sure to stay out of range.*

Arryk Rage: You haven’t understood what I’m trying to do at all, have you, Ace? So here’s another lesson.

*Rage suddenly reaches down and pulls off the second shirt he was wearing, revealing a brand-new “On Strike” shirt underneath! This causes both cheers and boos from the crowd, showing how polarized they are regarding Arryk’s actions.*

Arryk Rage: Ref, listen up, because this is something you won’t ever hear again… I quit!

*Rage drops the mic, grinning, as the Accelerator, in shock, drops the kendo stick. He looks towards Head Referee Bell, who shrugs, having no choice but to turn and signal for the bell!*

Jones: Oh, man, I don’t believe it!

Logan: Arryk Rage just threw another match, and this one is a PPV one! That’s going to burn the Accelerator for sure!

Minos: … Here is your… winner… the President of the GCWA, the Accelerator!

*Ace is holding his head with one hand, apparently having another headache. Arryk, meanwhile, is on his way up the ramp.*

Jones: This is truly shocking. I mean, I know a lot of people were looking forward to this one!

Logan: Yeah, I mean, I never saw it coming… oh, hell, I didn’t see that either!

Jones: Whoa!!

*As Arryk reaches the stage, still looking back towards the Accelerator with a sly grin on his face, he suddenly gets nailed from behind by the GCWA Head of Security, Reed M. Shin!! Rage falls to his knees, then starts to get back up to fight, but Shin is joined by three other security guards, all of them pounding away on the man!!! The fans are booing, although some “Take Arryk Out!” chants are heard from the pro-Ace members in the crowd. Rage is struggling to fight back, knocking down one security guard with a double-fisted shot, but more security shows up, and Arryk basically has no chance!!*

Jones: It’s an ambush!!

Logan: Man, why is security out here doing this? Do you think Ace ordered this?

Jones: The President, ordering a hit? I don’t know, Anthony…

Logan: Well, something’s up, because he’s sure not doing anything to stop it!

*In fact, the Accelerator is leaning on the ropes, watching the action with a smile now on his face. The bell is ringing, for what purpose no one knows, as security isn’t exactly going to come to Arryk’s aid. Shin lands another heavy shot, knocking Rage down. Meanwhile, other security has gone to the bins Ace had brought out, pulling out various weapons and using them on the still-fighting-back wrestler!! Ace himself tosses the kendo stick towards the crowd, with Shin catching it and using it to beat away on the man!! Rage is laid out, flat on his back, not moving, with security still surrounding him. The President finally leaves the ring, coming down towards the group. He looks down at Arryk, who is completely out cold. Ace shakes his head, as if pitying the man, then turns and signals to security, who lifts Arryk up and carries him towards the back, with Ace leading the way!*

Logan: Hell, where are they taking him?

Jones: I don’t know, Anthony, but the Strike has definitely turned nasty!

*Ace heads out the back, apparently ready to head back to work, while security carries Arryk off . The fans don’t know what to make of it, although they’re not exactly pleased with the President of the GCWA nor his security staff. We leave this area behind and switch to the backstage area, where we see Martin Ka'Berryon and Bifford standing and feeding Ludwig the Seal some Cocoa Puffs.*

Martin Ka’Berryon: So... think we're going to win tonight?

The Big Bifford: Meh, who really knows... I hope so.

Martin Ka’Berryon: Ever think you're getting too old to wrestle?

*Bifford just stares down Martin.*

The Big Bifford: I'm as youthful as ever.. just because I don't sit around listening to the ROCK and/or ROLL music like Dangerous Dan doesn't mean I'm not young and hip.

Martin Ka’Berryon: Oh yeah, weren't you going to reveal to the world the shocking reason why you hate Dangerous Dan tonight?

The Big Bifford: Oh yeah.. Well, let me give you a little backstory first.. I was at this convenience store buying some beef jerky, when suddenly..

*Suddenly, without warning, Smokey the Bear appears out of nowhere and nails Bifford with a steel chair. Martin Ka'Berryon starts screaming like a girl for help. Smokey looks over at Martin and begins closing in on him when Arachne rides in on the MRDD Unicorn from earlier in the week and nails Smokey the Bear in his over-sized head with a golf club. The man in the bear costume goes down and Arachne jumps off the unicorn and helps Bifford to his feet. Bifford looks around and sees the MRDD unicorn, drooling all over itself, and Smokey lying prone on the ground.*

The Big Bifford: A-ha.. As usual Smokey has come and attacked me immediately before a title-match. Martin, go put this tree-loving fool in a closet and lock the door. I'm starting a forest fire tonight.

*Bifford turns his attention to Arachne and the unicorn.*

The Big Bifford: Arachne, thanks for your help..

Arachne: Isn't there someone else you should thank, also?

*Bifford looks at the unicorn, reluctantly.*

The Big Bifford: Severely Retarded Unicorn.. thank you.

*The unicorn starts to lick Ludwig the Seal.*

The Big Bifford: Stop that right now.

*The unicorn lucks guilty and moves away from the seal.*

Arachne: So you were saying...? About why you hate Dangerous Dan?

The Big Bifford: Oh yeah, they were out of nacho cheese at a convenience store this one time and I started an argument with the clerk. The clerk then told me that someone had come to buy all of the nacho cheese and his name was David Costello. So I googled David Costello and found his address and went to his house and there were all sorts of dogs there, so I didn't go knock at the door. Instead I went to a grocery store and bought some nacho cheese. It was really delicious and I ate a lot of it, and that made me thirsty, so I went to the river to get a drink, but the river was very dirty, so I decided instead that I should probably just go home and relax.. And it was as I sat at home that afternoon and reflected on life that I decided that I hate Dangerous Dan.

Arachne: That story made no sense...

The Big Bifford: You know what else makes no sense? Us hanging around backstage with retarded unicorns, cereal-eating seals and guys in novelty costumes when we have a title match to get ready for. Arachne, let's get to the bat mobile! LET'S DO OUR THING!

*Arachne and Bifford walk down the hall together towards the arena as Martin Ka'Berryon drags the carcass of Smokey the Bear away. This leaves the MRDD unicorn looking at Ludwig. Ludwig looks very uncomfortable as the unicorn advances at him and the camera switches into the arena as the unicorn begins to mount the seal. Thankfully, we cut away before this happens.*

Logan: Bifford strikes again! Great to see Smokey again, as well!

Jones: He always seems to pop up in order to try and deny Bifford a title shot, doesn’t he?

Logan: Well, at least the Easter Bunny didn’t make it here tonight.

Jones: As far as we know…

*Jones and Logan share a moment of studying the crowd, looking for any pointed ears giving away the Easter Bunny’s position. After a second, though, Logan shakes his head, realizing that he’s buying into the delusion.*

Logan: Let’s just get to the match, ok, Jonesy? My head is starting to hurt!

*The video begins to roll, showing us shots of the Danger Boiz working together to surprisingly upset the House of Pain and become the new GCWA World Tag-Team Champions, winning the “Hazardous Ladder” Match. The champions are shown working well together as expected, including winning a match over the Hitmen at one point. Meanwhile, we see shots from The Big Bifford and Martin Ka’Berryon in prison, with the two eventually escaping in time for Bifford, wearing a mask, to participate in the Righteous Rumble. The footage goes to the last seconds of that match, where Dangerous Dan, having lasted most of the night, is shown trying to toss out Lurrr, only to have Bifford attack from behind and toss him out. Lurrr would go on to win, but the grudge between Bifford and Dan grew, with Bifford having an unknown hatred of the young wrestler. This led to the strange alliance between Bifford and Arachne, setting up tonight’s match between the two feuding teams.*

Minos: The next match is scheduled for one fall, and will be for the GCWA World Tag-Team Titles! Introducing first, the challengers… they recently have formed a strange union, which has traversed through multiple ‘realities’… weighing a combined 611 lbs, here are Arachne and The Big Bifford… Biffarachnephobia!

*The crowd is pretty mixed as “Gangsta’s Paradise” hits the speakers, leading the way out for the two strange wrestlers, as well as their manager, Martin Ka’Berryon. Arachne and Bifford are still sharing tales of their most recent ‘adventure’, although Ka’Berryon doesn’t act like he wants to hear any of it. The trio heads towards the ring, with Arachne entering first, followed, slowly, by Bifford.*

Jones: Arachne and Bifford spent the week apparently in the hospital, thanks to some drug that Arachne tricked Bifford into eating. It led to both men having some sort of shared-dream experience!

Logan: All I want to know is, did Martin Ka’Berryon ever return that laptop he stole? Or is he in danger of going back to prison?

Jones: I don’t know, Anthony. You can’t predict what a child molester is going to do next.

Logan: Oh, c’mon, Jonesy, don’t tell me you’ve bought into Bifford’s lies! He’s not a child molester!

Jones: Maybe… but the grape costume still freaks me out.

Minos: Their opponents have been one of the strongest tag-teams in the GCWA for 2009, earning championships both as singles and as a duo… weighing a combined 448 lbs, from Smithville, Tennessee, here are the GCWA Tag-Team Champions of the World, Crazy Chris & Dangerous Dan, The Danger Boiz!

*The crowd gives a strong pop as “Hell Yeah!” by Zebrahead played over the speakers. Crazy Chris comes out first, followed by Dangerous Dan, with the two men looking extremely confident in themselves. Each has a belt in their arms, showing them off to the cheering audience in attendance. The two men then turn and race to the ring, sliding in and leaving the belts behind as they head to separate turnbuckles.*

Jones: Interestingly enough, we also got a dream sequence from Chris & Dan, featuring them fighting off zombies after trying to discover items from The Big Bifford’s past!

Logan: Man, this dreaming thing is contagious! I think Arachne’s patient zero, we need to contain him as soon as possible!

Jones: You’re just saying that because you want Arachne out of here.

Logan: … So? It’s still true!

*The Bell Rings.*

*Referee Rockwell signals for things to begin, then quickly moves out of the way as the Danger Boiz suddenly spring into action, running across the ring to catch Bifford by surprise, nailing him with a double clothesline!! Bifford falls against the ropes, getting tangled up in them, even as Arachne steps in front, daring them to try that to him. Chris and Dan respond with a double dropkick, sending Arachne flopping backwards and falling into Bifford’s lap!! Bifford shrugs the face-painted wrestler off of him as he tries to get himself extracted from the ropes. Arachne rolls to the side, right into the legs of Dangerous Dan, who stops him, then reaches down and hauls the man up. He lifts Arachne into the air, keeping him up as Crazy Chris goes off the ropes and comes back with a leaping clothesline, guillotining Arachne back to the mat!! As Bifford desperately lifts himself up, Crazy Chris makes the cover, hanging onto the legs as Rockwell counts… 1… 2.. and Arachne gets free in time!*

Logan: Whew! This match almost ended unbelievably fast!

Jones: That would have shocked a lot of people, but fortunately for Biffarachnephobia, they’re still in this one!

Logan: Yeah, but the champs are definitely leading so far!

*Chris pulls Arachne up, landing a few shots to the body. Meanwhile, Dan is sent back to his corner by referee Rockwell, who wants to try and keep this an even affair. Unfortunately, Rockwell’s back is turned as Bifford suddenly grabs Chris from behind, landing a skull-cracking headbutt to the back of Chris’ head!! Chris falls to the mat, with Bifford smiling for a second before stumbling backwards into the corner, dazed from the impact as well. Rockwell, possibly sensing the ring move when Bifford lands in the corner, turns and comes over, ordering him out as well. But he’s done the damage already, as Arachne is getting back up and coming over towards Chris, pulling him up. Chris shoves Arachne away from him, trying to get away, then catches Arachne’s attempted boot, flipping him by throwing the leg upwards. Arachne, though, lands on all fours, saving himself, then springs back upwards, catching hold of Chris’ head and dropping back to slam him head-first into the mat with a reversed rock bottom!! Arachne then tries a cover… 1… 2… and Crazy Chris gets his arm up in time.*

Jones: Whether you like him or not, you have to admit that Arachne has improved in recent weeks, since taking on The Big Bifford as a partner.

Logan: He’s become more of a threat, in many ways. I mean, you’re mixing the insanity of Arachne with the unhinged qualities of Bifford. That’s a scary combination!

Jones: Scary or successful? I guess we’ll find out tonight!

*Arachne’s up, dragging Crazy Chris with him as he heads for his corner. He emphatically tags in Bifford, who steps himself into the ring and grabs hold of the much smaller wrestler. With Dangerous Dan worriedly looking on from the other side, Bifford lifts Crazy Chris up onto his shoulders, then twists, bringing Chris over and down with a Samoan driver!! Crazy Chris’ legs shake uncontrollably on the mat, with The Big Bifford quickly moving himself around for a pin attempt. Referee Rockwell is right there… 1… 2… and Dangerous Dan quickly comes in to break up the pin! Bifford looks over at the man with contempt, even as Dan retreats back to his corner, due to the warning from Rockwell. Bifford slowly gets himself up, pulling Crazy Chris with him. He takes the battered masked man over to the corner, throwing him into it. Bifford then turns himself around and sits back, crushing Chris into the corner!! With Chris effectively subdued, Bifford tags back in Arachne, who comes in and moves to the center of the ring. Bifford stands back up and leaves Chris leaning on the turnbuckle. Arachne then charges in, jumping up onto the second rope, and then springing back with Chris in tow, landing a huge super facebuster!! Arachne then makes another cover, hanging on… 1… 2… and somehow Crazy Chris gets a shoulder up!*

Jones: Crazy Chris is taking a huge beating in there!

Logan: It’s not as bad as being eaten by zombies, but it sure isn’t pleasant!

Jones: If Chris doesn’t make a tag soon, we’re going to have new World Tag-Team Champions!

*Dangerous Dan is now stomping on the apron outside, trying to get the crowd fired up for his brother. It’s not easy, as there are still some strong Bifford supporters in the audience. Inside the ring, Arachne drags the stunned Crazy Chris back to the corner, once again showing good teamwork by tagging The Big Bifford back in. Bifford is enjoying himself, especially the fact that Dangerous Dan is so upset on the other side. He picks Chris up and lands a large bodyslam, driving Chris into the mat. But Bifford doesn’t want to go for the pin. He wants this to be something special. That being said, Bifford heads for the turnbuckle!! He starts to climb, with the fans holding their collective breaths, hoping that the post can hold up under the weight. Even Arachne seems to be a little nervous, and Martin Ka’Berryon has turned away, not wanting to see what’s going to happen. Dangerous Dan starts to come in, but referee Rockwell, expecting it, blocks the man’s path, arguing with him.*

Jones: Where is he going??

Logan: Oh, crap, Bifford’s thinking about going for the Big Splash!!

Jones: He is??? Holy shit!!

*Bifford manages to get to the top of the turnbuckle, working to balance himself. Arachne is cheering him on, although he seems to want him to hurry up. Dangerous Dan is still trying to find a way to get past Rockwell, disqualification or not. He just wants to save his brother. Bifford, though, is already standing up, looking down underneath him with a grin. He raises his hands in the air, then leaps, for a second his shadow blocking out a lot of the lights as he flies downwards… and Crazy Chris moves, rolling frantically to his right and managing to get himself out of the ring!! Instead of landing on the wrestler, Bifford crashes to the mat instead, shaking the very foundations of the ring!!! Bifford groans in pain, laying on the canvas, even as the crowd goes wild!*

Jones: Thank god, he missed!! We almost had a fatality in this one!

Logan: Crazy Chris probably had come to a little earlier, but he played possum, causing Bifford to take himself out!

Jones: What an impact! I’m surprised there’s not a huge hole in the center of the ring!

*With Bifford down, Crazy Chris is able to recuperate a little more before reentering the ring. He starts to head towards Dangerous Dan, thinking mainly about getting a fresh pair of legs into the match. However, Arachne suddenly comes in, diving at Chris and tackling him to the ground to prevent the tag!! Chris and Arachne start fighting, even as referee Rockwell comes in, trying to break them up since Arachne is not the legal man. But Rockwell’s control of the match is quickly slipping away, as Dangerous Dan comes in as well, grabbing at Arachne and pulling him up! The face-painted wrestler tries a wild swing, but Dan ducks under it, then catches the off-balance Arachne and lifts him up onto his shoulder. Chris quickly joins in, grabbing Arachne’s head, with the two dropping in sync with a gutbuster/diamond cutter combination!!! Arachne, in agony, tumbles to the side and falls out of the ring, even as the Danger Boiz get up and go after Bifford, kicking away at the massive wrestler. Bifford’s unable to get up, taking several shots from the World Tag-Team Champions!*

Logan: That’s about the only way to take down a man the size of Bifford: double-teams are key!

Jones: Very few teams have the talent and coordination of the Danger Boiz, which is why they’re the only two-time World Tag-Team Champions on record!

*The Danger Boiz work together, pulling The Big Bifford up and working him over with several shots. The two then look to the crowd, before both moving in and grabbing Bifford to attempt suplexing him over!! Unfortunately, even for these two young all-stars, the weight is too much, as Bifford is able to keep from going over. Instead, he knocks Crazy Chris away with a left swing, and then turns to Dan, grabbing him with both arms. Dan, though, knocks the arms away, instead leaping up and kicking Bifford in the side of the head!! Bifford, dazed, stands there, swaying, with Dan then going off the ropes and coming back with a flying forearm!! Bifford drops to his knees, looking to be out of it, with Dan, encouraged, signaling to a weary Crazy Chris to head up the turnbuckle! Chris does do, positioning himself on top for the Crazy Man’s Suicide! But as Dan pulls Bifford up into position, Arachne suddenly returns, jumping up and hitting Chris from behind, sending him flipping forward and crashing to the ring!!*

Logan: Arachne made the save just in time! Chris was about to fly!

Jones: I don’t know if even The Big Bifford could have survived the Crazy Man’s Suicide shot!

*Arachne half-climbs over the ropes, laughing at the sight of Crazy Chris on the ground. However, this proves to be a mistake, as a furious Dangerous Dan races over towards him, jumping off the ropes and scoring a springboard dropkick that flips Arachne to the outside!! Martin Ka’Berryon is there to check on him, trying to help Arachne up and get him back into the fray, but Dangerous Dan is already on the move, coming towards the ropes and leaping over them with a dive, flipping down with a suicide corkscrew splash onto both men!!! All three crash to a heap outside, with the crowd going wild at the amazing aerial maneuver! Meanwhile, in the ring, Crazy Chris is pulling himself up, holding his aching back. He turns towards The Big Bifford, who’s still recovering himself. Chris charges him, leaping onto Bifford’s shoulders and punching away!! Bifford takes a few steps, stunned, but then reacts, throwing Chris over him and to the mat! Chris manages to land on his feet and comes back, attacking with a stiff kick, but Bifford blocks it, then twists Chris around… into the Biff End!!!! Before the masked man can block it, Bifford lands his finisher!! Bifford covers, as Dangerous Dan tries to reenter, only to get grabbed by Arachne… 1… 2… 3!!!!!*

Minos: Here are your winners, and NEW GCWA Tag-Team Champions of the World, Biffarachnephobia!!

Logan: We have new champions!

Jones: I thought the Danger Boiz had all the momentum, but Crazy Chris had just taken too much of a beating early on to hang in there against Bifford!

Logan: What a way to end the year for Bifford and Arachne! Especially Arachne, man, I never saw him becoming a champion!

*Dangerous Dan is back in the ring, checking on his injured brother, even as Bifford gets himself out of the ring. Bifford’s looking pretty happy, as he goes and gets the World Tag-Team Titles and starts to leave, not realizing at first that he’s leaving on his own. Ka’Berryon, hurting himself from the shot he took, limps after him, yelling towards him about Arachne, who is trying to follow. The three men depart, with an angry-looking Dangerous Dan watching them go.*

*We cut away from the activity, with the fans looking towards the big screen. Once again the screen lights up with a video feed of Draco walking down one of the many long corridors. This one leads him to the office of the President of GCWA, the Accelerator. Draco stops at the door. He thinks about knocking, but instead just opens the door. The President is inside, just finishing putting back on his suit after ‘winning’ his match earlier. Draco stands there looking at the Accelerator, who turns, looking back at him.*

The Accelerator: Ever hear of knocking?

Draco: You wanted me, I came.

The Accelerator: Have a seat, Draco.

*Draco moves to the giant desk and takes a seat. He drops the duffel bag next to the chair. Accelerator leans forward pushing his paper work aside.*

The Accelerator: Ready for tonight, champ?

Draco: I doubt you called me in here to make small talk.

The Accelerator: Always one to get to the point. Fine. As you know, I heard about what happened to your family.

*Draco is visibly uncomfortable with remembering what had happened. His wounds started to burn from the memories that flashed in his mind. Accelerator was noticing the change that happened in his World Champion.*

The Accelerator: All I can say--

Draco: Don’t say anything. It is a personal matter.

The Accelerator: That might affect my business.

*Draco stood up and got in front of the desk. Draco took off his sunglasses and leaned forward, glaring at his boss.*

Draco: I don’t give a shit! See these eyes! LOOK! I haven’t slept. All I see is what fucking happened! But you know what? I am here? Why? So I can knock the head off that stupid fucker! Now, either you say something or let me go get ready!

*Accelerator wasn’t intimidated by Draco’s actions, he was more shocked. It was the first time that he saw such raw intensity and hatred in those eyes. Draco took the silence as a means to leave. Draco left with his duffel bag and slammed the door.*

The Accelerator: Guess he is ready.

*With that Accelerator goes back to his desk with the shake of his head. As he sits down, though, he realizes that there is a present sitting on his desk with his name on it. The Accelerator looks around, probably wondering about if security has seen this yet. He shrugs, and then unwraps it slowly. He pulls out a package of BEN-GAY. He shakes his head and places on his desk, then reaches inside the box as there is something else in there. The next thing he pulls is a can of spray on hair. He places it on his desk. The last thing he pulls out is a bracelet. He looks at the items on his desk and shakes his head. He grabs the spray on can, and smiles. We cut away, heading back to ringside.*

Jones: Draco’s pretty intense tonight, huh, Anthony?

Logan: Well, he had a pretty hard week, Jonesy. I still don’t know all the details, but I know it wasn’t exactly a picnic.

Jones: I wonder who got Ace that package? He seemed pretty interested in the can of spray-on hair.

Logan: I’m not thrilled about that. I mean, if he uses that, then my skin cap is meaningless, man!

Jones: It’s not always about you, Anthony. If the President wants some spray-on hair, he’ll get spray-on hair!

Logan: Dude should just join the Hair Club For Men. He’d be happier.

Jones: Well, I… wait, we’ve got reports… ok, we’ve got live footage from the back!

Logan: Ok, here we go!

*The jumbotron shows Marcus Ka’Derrion and Scott Caine in the back, still brawling! They fight through the hallway, both men looking like they’ve had better days. Ka’Derrion’s arm is cut up, possibly from a trip through a window of some sort, while Caine’s got what looks like a burn wound on his side, surrounded by shredded fabric. It’s unknown where Penance is, and if he’s been injured or not. The two wrestlers fight into another hall, where security is waiting, diving in to try and break them up.*

Jones: Oh, man, they’re STILL fighting??

Logan: Where have the damn cameramen been? Why do I get the feeling we’ve missed an epic unsanctioned hardcore match???

Jones: Neither man looks to be in great shape, but it’s still taking a lot of effort for security to pull them apart!

*The security guards are struggling to separate the two, while not getting hurt themselves. Not an easy proposition. Suddenly, in the middle of the fray, Santa Claus magically appears.*

Santa Claus: No need to fight gentlemen. Let’s spread the Christmas joy. Here are two presents for some good little boys.

*Santa drops a present for Scott Caine and one for Marcus K then quickly disappears. The two men look confused, with security still making sure to hang on, just in case. Caine is the first to reach for his present, opening it up. He pulls out a football jersey, bringing a smile to his face.*

Scott Caine: Awesome.

*Marcus K unwraps his present and pulls out two tennis balls, he holds one in each hand.*

Scott Caine: I think what Santa is trying to say is, you need to grow a set of balls. Stop crying about your little hang nail injuries.

Marcus Ka’Derrion: Read what it says on the back of your jersey.

*Caine turns the jersey around to reveal a number 69 on the back. And instead of having his name it has “LIKES”.*

Scott Caine: LIKES 69? Who’s LIKES 69?

Marcus Ka’Derrion: That would be your mother.

*Angrily, Scott throws the jersey at Marcus, then dives at him, as the brawl begins once more! Security immediately gets involved again, struggling to stop the melee, as we cut away to the ringside area again.*

Jones: Even Santa couldn’t separate those two!

Logan: Interesting gifts… anyway, that situation will hopefully be resolved soon. For our part, we’ve got two more tremendous matches to finish up, and we’re quickly heading into overtime on our pay-per-view window!

Jones: Eh, the pay-per-view company loves us. They’ll leave us on the air for as long as it takes.

Logan: Believe that if you want, Jonesy, but I want to keep going!

*We leave the two men behind to go to another video, showing three wrestlers in split-screens: Harvey Danger, Mr. Excellent, and Robert Santana. The split-screen goes away, replaced by the sight of Draco winning the World Heavyweight Title, and thus vacating the Intercontinental belt. Draco is shown convincing the President to have a Round Robin tournament for the title, picking four men to participate. However, in a strange twist of fate, the tournament ended in a three-way tie, with Danger defeating Santana, Santana defeating Mr. Excellent, and Mr. Excellent defeating Danger. This caused the Accelerator to announce that the final match would be at Wreck The Halls, with the winner of the Three-Way earning the championship. We see recent events, with Santana defending the Television Title, Danger winning the X Division Title, and Excellent launching assaults on his foes, trying to take them out before the match. We leave them behind to return to live footage, ready for the match to begin.*

Minos: The next match is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit. It will decide the new GCWA Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion!

*A cheer goes up from the masses, who want to finally see someone holding this prestigious gold once again.*

Minos: Introducing first, he is a former GCWA Television Champion and is seeking his second championship reign here tonight, standing 6’3” and weighing 255 lbs, from Chicago, Illinois, with his manager, Mick, here is Mr. Excellent!

*The boos are evident as “Youth of the Nation” by P.O.D. begins to play.*

Jones: Surprisingly, it seems that Mr. Excellent might be the chief suspect in a mall robbery this past week!

Logan: Well, the dude did just lose all his money recently, and very nearly lost his wife as well. I guess he decided not to go into seclusion like Tiger and decided to do something about it.

Jones: Are you condoning what he did??

Logan: Of course not… stealing is a crime… remember, kids, no stealing!

Minos: Next, coming towards the ring, he has proven time and again to be a strong competitor in the GCWA, with multiple title reigns to prove it… standing 6’3” and weighing in at 235 lbs, from Washington D.C., here is the GCWA Television Champion, Robert “The Sensei” Santana!

*The crowd raises back up in cheers for Santana, as he walks out to “Sandstorm” by Darude. He’s got the Television Title around his waist, although he’s making the universal signal above it with his hands, saying that another piece of gold will soon be joining it. He does a quick bow and heads for the ring to compete.*

Jones: Santana joined his wife this past week in house hunting, eventually finding one that suited their needs.

Logan: That’s what you call a “great” Christmas present. The only problem is, now he’s got to top this next year. What’s he going to get her, a skyscraper?

Jones: Sometimes it’s the thought that counts, Anthony.

Logan: That’s what they say, but my wife never gives a damn about what I’m thinking, just that I give her all the gold necklaces and diamonds she wants.

Minos: Finally, our third competitor is here to represent D & D, looking to bring more gold into their midst… standing 6’0” and weighing 215 lbs, from New York City, New York, here is the GCWA X Division Champion, Harvey Danger!

*”No Rain” by Blind Melon plays, with the fans cheering at the first sight of Danger. He comes out in a fancy robe, possibly a Christmas present from Draco, doing a quick dance around before managing to pull the robe off and head for the ring. The X Division Title is tucked around his waist, although it does look like it’s only partially secured, causing it to hang a little crooked.*

Logan: Harvey sure got into the season this week, didn’t he?

Jones: Well, he managed to hang up the lights on the house without killing himself, and he had a good visit with Santa Claus, so I guess he should be happy.

Logan: Yeah, poor Santa. Can you imagine a 6-foot wrestler coming up in the line and demanding to sit in your lap?

*The Bell Rings.*

Jones: After months of the title being vacated, and after a tournament ended up in a three-way tie, we’re finally going to decide on a new champion tonight!

Logan: From what I hear, Ace already decreed that this one won’t end in a countout or a disqualification. He wants to see someone win!

Jones: Well, I hope referee Mitchell is accommodating. But he still has to enforce the rules, right?

*The three wrestlers start moving towards each other, forming a mini circle as they each stand in defensive positions. For a second, it’s unclear who’s going to go after whom, then, suddenly, Harvey moves, attacking Mr. Excellent! He punches away at him, with Excellent returning with his own shots. Santana then moves in, joining Danger in punching away at the hated foe, double-teaming him! Excellent backs off, taking several hits from the two wrestlers. Danger moves in, grabbing Excellent’s arm as he leans against the ropes. Danger turns and shoots Excellent across the ring, right towards Santana, who launches into a spinning high kick that knocks Excellent to his back, causing him to slide on the mat for a few feet!! Mr. Excellent, hurting, immediately looks for safety, pulling himself out of the ring and joining Mick for a quick regroup, as the two face wrestlers stand tall in the ring!*

Jones: I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that Danger and Santana both wanted a piece of Mr. Excellent, huh?

Logan: Excellent’s definitely the least favorite of the three, due to his dirty tactics and sneak attacks. But don’t expect this allegiance between Harvey and Santana to last much longer, as you know that both want to become the Intercontinental Champion, becoming one of only a few wrestlers to hold two belts at once!

Jones: You know that Harvey, in particular, would like to join the Intercontinental & X Division belts, since he’d be following in the footsteps of his favorite tag-team partner, Draco!

*As Mr. Excellent and Mick confer on the outside, with Mick telling Excellent to take a knee and rest, Harvey and Santana have turned their attention to each other, giving each other a respectful nod before going at it. They lock up, with Harvey going for the headlock, only to be easily pushed off by Santana towards the ropes. Danger returns with an attempted shoulder block, which, unfortunately, doesn’t go as he planned, as Danger is the one who falls to his back from the impact. The larger Santana immediately moves in, grabbing at Danger’s ankle and turning him over to try for a submission hold! But Danger squirms free, managing to roll away. He pulls himself up on the ropes, with Santana re-positioning himself, waiting for a chance to strike.*

Logan: Santana’s got a great combination of speed and strength working for him, making him one of the most balanced wrestlers in the GCWA.

Jones: I think you could say the same thing about Mr. Excellent. Danger, well, he’s not known for power, true, but he’s definitely got his own unique blend of skills that can make him quite dangerous to take on.

*The two wrestlers lock up again, each trying to shift the weight to his own advantage. Santana wins out, getting behind Danger and trying for a back suplex. But Danger manages to get free, flipping over and landing behind Santana, then driving him towards the ropes for an attempt at a roll up! Santana hangs on, though, avoiding the attempt and causing Harvey to roll away from him. However, as Santana turns to charge in, Mr. Excellent grabs his legs from the outside, yanking back and causing Santana to fall hard on his face! Excellent then drops, hiding behind the apron, even as Harvey turns around, not knowing what happened. He just sees Santana trying to recover. Danger immediately moves in, putting his leg around Santana’s head and dropping down with a fameasser!! Santana’s down and hurting, even as Danger pulls himself up, happy with himself. It only lasts a couple of seconds, as Excellent rolls into the ring behind him and grabs Danger from behind, sending him flying through the ropes to the outside!! Excellent then drops onto Santana and tries to steal the cover, hanging onto the trunks as he does so… 1… 2… and Santana kicks out!*

Jones: Excellent almost found a way to sneak away with the championship!

Logan: That was definitely a close one, as Excellent bided his time. He’s very good at cerebral warfare in these types of matches.

*Mr. Excellent brings Santana back up, already looking for better ways to take him down. He sets Santana up, lifting him into position and dropping with a piledriver, banging Santana’s head into the mat!! Excellent then gets up, even as Harvey Danger starts to return! But Harvey’s shirt gets grabbed from behind by Mick, slowing him down! Harvey pulls himself free, but it’s enough of a distraction, as Excellent comes in with a running clothesline, laying him out! Excellent brings Danger back up and turns him, again tossing Danger over the ropes and to the floor! Meanwhile, Santana is starting to get up, trying to recover. But Excellent moves in, grabbing onto his legs and yanking them out from under him! Excellent then twists the legs around, looking to apply the Execution!! Santana fights like a crazed pitbull, shifting his weight and shaking both men as he tries to get free. Excellent can’t hang on, with Santana pulling himself free of the hold and kicking him away!*

Jones: That was close! While submission holds aren’t recommended in multi-man matches, Mr. Excellent still could have managed the win if Harvey couldn’t get back here for the save in time!

Logan: Yeah, but Santana’s felt the pain of the Execution a few times, and he knows that it would be disastrous for him to fall prey to it again.

Jones: True, but sometimes it can’t be helped. Santana’s got to be on guard, because you never know when Excellent will try for it again!

*Santana’s gotten to the ropes, starting to pull himself up, only to have Excellent hit him with an axehandle shot from behind, knocking him to his knees. Excellent is shaking his head, annoyed that he didn’t get to apply his finisher. He drags Santana up, setting him against the ropes, then whipping him across to the other side… where Santana falls over the top rope and to the outside!! Harvey Danger, who had been climbing back up (and clinging to the top rope) when Santana fell, looks over at him with surprise, apparently not meaning to have taken the man out. The surprise allows Excellent to come over and attack, grabbing Danger and preparing to suplex him into the ring! Excellent lifts, but Danger shifts his weight, managing to land on his feet behind the man and take him over with a quick bridge, trying for a pin! Excellent fights as referee Mitchell starts his count… 1… 2… and Excellent and Danger both get their shoulders off the mat, ensuring that the match continues! Both men get up, with Harvey giving Excellent a boot to the mid-section to bend him over, then jumping over him with a sunset flip, trying another pin! 1… 2… Excellent once again escapes at the last second!*

Jones: It’s clear that every guy is thinking about how to get the victory here, Anthony.

Logan: Yeah, these guys may not like each other, but there are no serious grudges in the group. Instead, this one’s all about the championship, which means that we’ll continue to see quick pin attempts whenever someone gets the opportunity!

Jones: Yep, it’s not about punishment, it’s all about the gold!

*With referee Mitchell backing away, Danger and Excellent get back up, with Danger again on the attack, driving Excellent back into the corner. Danger climbs up over him, punching away and getting the obligatory 10 count from the crowd in response. With Excellent dazed, the GCWA X Division Champion then jumps up on his shoulders and takes Excellent out of the corner with a frankensteiner, throwing him across the ring!! Danger heads over to make another cover… 1… 2… and Santana is there to break it up! The Sensei kicks away at Danger, then pulls him up, stepping back and landing a super kick to Danger’s chin, knocking him to the mat!! Santana then comes over for the cover… 1… 2… and Mr. Excellent dives over, desperately making the save! The two wrestlers get up, with Santana grabbing hold of Excellent to throw him out of the ring. But Excellent puts on the brakes, then turns and kicks Santana in the stomach, before dropping with a DDT! Excellent covers, with referee Mitchell in place… 1… 2… and Danger’s the one making the save!*

Jones: Pins are being broken up all over the place in this one!

Logan: Really, these three are giving it all they’ve got in their attempt to become the new Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion! They’re doing the belt proud!

Jones: Definitely! Whoever wins here today certainly deserves the right to call themselves the champ!

*Danger is struggling to pull Excellent up. The fatigue is building in each of the wrestlers, slowing them down as the fight continues, even as their pride keeps them going. Mr. Excellent breaks away from Harvey, going to the eyes to get away. With Harvey staggering back, blinded, Excellent steps into him, twisting Harvey around and applying a sleeper hold!! Danger struggles against the move, trying to get free, but Excellent has it perfectly hooked in near the center of the ring! Harvey’s arms are outstretched, as he desperately tries to reach the ropes. The distance is too great, though, with Danger starting to slump over, all energy draining from his body with the lack of oxygen! Mr. Excellent is tightening his grip, demanding that referee Mitchell call the match, but Mitchell has to check the arm three times first. He lifts it once, twice… and then Santana’s there, grabbing Excellent from behind and suplexing him over, taking Danger along with them!!! The hold is ‘broken’, with all three wrestlers down on the mat after that one!!*

Jones: What a display of power and technique from Santana!

Logan: Yeah, he made it just in time, as Harvey looked completely out of it!

Jones: Well, all three men look like they’re in trouble now… could we once again not leave here tonight with a new Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion??

Logan: Don’t forget, Edds, that Ace promised there wouldn’t be a countout in this one. So Mitchell’s hands are tied, as this one must continue!

*Referee Mitchell is standing over all three men, fighting off the instinct to start counting them out. He knows that the President is probably watching this one from the back. The first to move is Santana, rolling himself over and getting to the ropes. He hauls himself up, even as Excellent starts to move as well. Danger’s got a smile on his face, but his eyes are still closed, making you wonder what’s going through his oxygen-deprived brain right now. As Excellent works to stand up, Santana moves in, aiming for Excellent’s head with the Sensei-Tion!! But Excellent straightens up just in time, avoiding the blow! Santana, off-balance, is then taken down with a Russian leg sweep, sending him rolling out of the ring! Excellent, pulling himself back up, heads towards the still-down Danger, grabbing for his legs for the Execution!! He steps through… and then Danger reaches up and pulls him in, getting a tight roll-up!! Referee Mitchell, caught off-guard, still manages to dive in for the count… 1… 2… and at the very last millisecond, Excellent escapes!!*

Jones: We have a new… wait, no, Excellent got free!

Logan: Danger almost snatched the win away, but the match continues! We need a new champ!

*Excellent gets up, angry, as Harvey pulls himself up to meet him. Excellent, showing his contempt, slaps Danger across the face for daring to try and roll him up like that during his own finisher. Danger, shaking it off, comes back with a slap of his own that he probably learned from his mother, leaving a red mark across Excellent’s cheek! The fans love it, with Excellent furiously swinging away, only to miss as Danger ducks, then comes in, twisting around with a neckbreaker! Meanwhile, Santana is coming back into the ring, looking to get back involved… only to have Mick grab his leg from behind and hang on, refusing to let go!! Referee Mitchell, seeing this, comes over, ordering Mick to stop, yet not having the power to call for a disqualification. Santana struggles to pull away, trying to get free from the manager. Harvey, after trying a cover without getting a count, pulls himself up, wondering what’s going on.*

Logan: Someone get Mick out of there!

Jones: Unfortunately, as you said, Anthony, Ace said that he didn’t want a DQ in this one, which means that Mitchell doesn’t know what to do!

Logan: I’ll tell you what to do, you call for security and have them beat Mick like they did to Arryk, that’s what you do!!

*With Mick turning out to be quite tenacious, Santana drops back out of the ring to the outside to deal with him. Mick tries to back off, but the Sensei is annoyed now and swings, knocking Mick onto his back with a stiff shot! Mitchell’s still looking out at them, trying to figure out what to do. Meanwhile, Harvey, satisfied that things are back under control, goes back to Mr. Excellent. He pulls him up, no, Excellent throws powder into his face, blinding him!!! Danger stumbles back, wiping at his eyes, with Excellent pulling himself up. He grabs hold of Danger and hammers him under the chin, apparently with something hidden in his hand!! Danger falls back, out of it, with Excellent making the cover and screaming for the referee. Mitchell turns and comes over to make the count, with Excellent making sure to grab hold of the trunks for added leverage… 1… 2… Santana comes in, but he’s going to be just a little bit late… 3!!!*

Minos: Here is your winner, and the new GCWA Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion, Mr. Excellent!!

Jones: What a shocking upset!! The guy without a championship is the one who gets the win!

Logan: Yeah, but damn, he used a lot of sneaky moves to get it! Without Mick helping him, without the illegal weapons use, without holding the tights… he cheated all the way, damnit!

Jones: Cheating or not, Anthony, it still counts, as Mr. Excellent now holds the gold!

*Mr. Excellent leaves the ring, already celebrating like mad his tremendous victory. Santana can only stare after him, kicking at the ropes in frustration. Danger is sitting up, his vision still blurry from whatever he took to the face.*

Jones: So we have three champions now in this one, with Mr. Excellent going into the new year as the Intercontinental Champion, while Harvey hangs onto the X Division Title and Santana stays the Television Champion. These are our 2010 stars, Anthony!

Logan: Yeah, and while maybe I would have liked to see Harvey or Santana walk out the Intercontinental Champion as well, at least we’re guaranteed some good pairings for championship matches in the future!

Jones: Indeed.

Logan: I wonder… wait, look, Jonesy! Look who’s coming out to talk to Mr. Excellent!

*As Mr. Excellent heads up the aisleway, title in hand and Mick next to him, snow begins to fall from around the entryway, and Santa Claus walks out!! The fans start to cheer, although Mr. Excellent doesn’t look pleased. He turns towards Santa, wanting to know why the man is there.*

Santa Claus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!

*The fans seem happy, but Mr. Excellent is shaking his head, telling Santa to get out of the new champ’s way.*

Santa Claus: Hold on, young man. Santa wanted to talk to you about your future presents. I watched your match, and I have to say, that was not very nice. I would say it leaned towards naughty!

*Mr. Excellent turns to Mick, as if to say, Do you believe this? He turns back to Santa, putting the Intercontinental Title on his shoulder… then flips him off! The fans boo heavily as Excellent grins, displaying the middle finger to the Christmas icon.*

Logan: Hey, now, man, that’s Santa Claus! You don’t do that to Santa!

Jones: That jerk! He’s getting coal now for sure!

*The booing continues, with Mr. Excellent lowering his hand, then looking back towards Mick with a smirk. Santa Claus, for his part, sadly shakes his head… then steps forward, kicking Mr. Excellent in the stomach! Excellent bends over, all breath being knocked out of him, as Santa grabs hold and lifts, taking him over with the Soul Buster!!! Mick, in complete shock, staggers away, watching Santa get back to his feet!!*

Jones: Santa!! What the hell??

Logan: I KNEW I recognized that guy from somewhere! That’s not Santa!

*The fans are cheering loudly now as Santa reaches up and pulls down his beard, then removes his red hat, revealing The Lost Soul underneath!!! Mick angrily steps forward, saying a few words, but he’s quickly silenced from a right hand from TLS, putting him on his back! The crowd loves it, starting up a “TLS” chant!*

Jones: It was The Lost Soul all along!!

Logan: Hell, The Lost Soul has been several people over the past year. He began things as El Phantasmo, wrestled in tag-team matches as the Stranger, and got to be the GCWA Head of Security for a few weeks. Why not have him end the year as Santa Claus??

Jones: So The Lost Soul just took out the Intercontinental Champion! You have to think there will be more to this in the new year!

*With Mr. Excellent out on the ground, having already taken too much abuse before the Soul Buster to be able to counter it, The Lost Soul leans over him. He picks up the mic one more time.*

The Lost Soul: Santa knows who’s been naughty or who’s been nice. But it’s The Lost Soul who decides the punishment. Enjoy the holidays. You have been warned.

*The Lost Soul drops the mic, heading off backstage. Mr. Excellent is still down, with Santana watching with a smile from outside the ring. Inside, Harvey Danger is also smiling, telling referee Mitchell that he knew The Lost Soul had a Christmas side to him. He starts telling details about how the two used the be partners, details that Mitchell doesn’t really want to hear, as the picture cuts to the backstage area. We go to a back room that has a rope across it, apparently signifying that it’s for VIP’s only. Standing outside is Cynthia Hall, who appears to be trying to get in.*

Cynthia Hall: This is Cynthia Hall, reporting live, where a potentially extreme party is said to be going on inside this room. I’m going to try to get inside and see what’s going on.

*Cynthia knocks on the door, waiting, then knocks again. It takes a few moments, but finally the door opens, with a red-eyed Derek Mobley looking out! Mobley glances around, then spots Cynthia, smiling.*

Derek Mobley: Why, hello, Cynthia! Long time no see!

Cynthia Hall: Derek? Oh… this is a Warrick Hill party, isn’t it? I should have known.

Derek Mobley: If you want to go out of the old year in style, Warrick’s your man. We’ve been having a lot of fun back here.

*A whoop is heard, and the cameraman zooms in behind Derek, showing an obviously-intoxicated Bucky Johnson going by, smiling. He’s got with him a woman, although it’s impossible to tell who she is. The two disappear, with Derek stepping in front, blocking the view.*

Derek Mobley: So what can I do for you, Cynthia? I’d like to get back soon, we’ve got some Christmas shots lined up.

Cynthia Hall: Who else is in there with you?

Derek Mobley: Oh, just a few people from here and… hey… HEY! Biden, put down that bong! Seriously, VP, you’ve got to control yourself, man! Oh, uh, what was I saying again, Cynthia?

Cynthia Hall: I… I… did you say Biden?

*Suddenly, Derek gets pushed to the side, as Warrick Hill appears, a sloppy grin on his face! Warrick’s wearing a specially-made Christmas hat, with mistletoe hanging over the top of it. He smiles at Cynthia.*

Warrick Hill: What’s up?? Cynthia, it’s always great to see you!

Cynthia Hall: Yes, well, I… this seems like a fun party, we’d love to come in and see it, Warrick.

*Warrick looks at Cynthia, then at the cameraman, scowling at being filmed.*

Warrick Hill: You can come in, but the camera stays out. What happens at a Warrick bonanza STAYS at the Warrick bonanza, capeshe?

Cynthia Hill: … This is Cynthia Hall, going on possibly her most dangerous assignment ever… if I don’t make it back, tell my mother I love her!

*Warrick cackles as he removes the rope, allowing Cynthia to come on in. She disappears into the haze of smoke, while Warrick and Derek grin and shut the door, continuing the party. We head back to ringside.*

Logan: Good luck, Cynthia! Man, I wonder if we’ll see her again in 2010?

Jones: Unknown, Anthony. She just went into the Heart of Warrick, which is a place that I would never dare go.

Logan: Well, we’ve had a great Christmas atmosphere tonight, but this next match isn’t going to be very festive. It’s time for our main event!

Jones: Welcome to Hell, boys!

*We go to video footage one more time. This time, we start out with the Summer of Lurrr, showing Lurrr as the GCWA World Heavyweight Champion. The footage next shows Draco, the Intercontinental Champion, winning a three-way #1 Contenders Match over The Big Bifford and The Lost Soul to earn a shot at the gold. At Adrenaline Rush ’09, Draco and Lurrr went at it in a violent “Tables, Ladders, & Chairs” Match, involving interference from both D & D and Rick Mathis. In the end, Draco made it up the ladder first, becoming the new World Heavyweight Champion. While Draco was next involved in a feud with The Lost Soul, Lurrr plotted his way back to the top, and succeeded, last throwing out The Big Bifford in order to win the 2009 Righteous Rumble, and a rematch for the GCWA World Championship. We see the events of the last few weeks, with the hatred between the two men clearly displayed each and every week. Last week, we see the final footage of Lurrr attacking Draco before a Complaint Department, ending with Draco getting thrown into a mirror!! Lurrr’s taunts and the fury on Draco’s face are the last things seen as the video ends, taking us back to ringside, where the cell has already been lowered into position.*

Minos: It is now time for our main event of the evening! Two men will enter this ominous structure, and only one will walk out with the greatest championship in the land. It’s time now for Hell In A Cell!

*The crowd is pumped. Despite all the rest of the great action tonight, they’re definitely enthused at the thought of what they’re about to lay their eyes on.*

Minos: First, the challenger, making his way towards the cell… he has done it all in the GCWA, including being a former GCWA World Heavyweight Champion… he is here representing his own organization, the Roman Empire… and earned this opportunity by surviving over 19 other men to win the 2009 Righteous Rumble… standing 6’5” and weighing 235 lbs, here is the #1 Contender, Lurrr!

*The boos are deafening in the arena, as to be expected for the most hated man in wrestling. As “Cocky” by Kid Rock plays, Lurrr appears, walking slowly out of the back. He isn’t moving with his usual gusto, but he’s at least on his feet as he makes his way down the aisle towards the ring.*

Jones: Scary moment this week, as Lurrr apparently passed out during an interview to set up a new sponsorship! I heard he was rushed to the hospital, Anthony!

Logan: Yeah, well, anyone else, I’d feel sorry for, but this is Lurrr, man. Do you expect sympathy or compassion from me?

Jones: No, I don’t, but I’d think that you’d at least be happy he’s here tonight, so that our main event can take place.

Logan: Good point. I have been looking forward to this one, since you can never predict what’s going to happen when wrestlers go to Hell!

Minos: And now, making his entrance to the arena… he has held multiple titles in the GCWA, and has been the flag-bearer for the company for several months now as we finish out the year… representing D & D here tonight, standing 5’11” and weighing 204 lbs, from Whitesboro, New York, here is the GCWA Heavyweight Champion of the World, Draco!!

*The place hits volume levels rarely heard outside of a Marilyn Manson concert, as all the fans get to their feet to cheer on the World Champion. As “Indestructible” by Disturbed plays, Draco walks out, the World Title in hand. He doesn’t look nearly as excited as usual, with a dark look in his eyes as he looks around at the crowd. He then sets his sights on the towering structure awaiting him, heading down the ramp towards it. The stitches are still clearly evident on his face.*

Jones: Reports are sketchy as to what happened this week with Draco, although we do know that something happened with his family, and that Draco himself was out of touch for several days.

Logan: Whatever happened to him, it didn’t prevent Draco from making it here tonight to defend his championship. Interestingly enough, both men seemed to have gone through personal hells this week, which, in a way, should have helped prepare them for the pain and torture to come!

Jones: I just hope both men are in good enough shape to make this a match worth remembering! It’s going to be a wild one!

*Halfway down the aisle, Draco breaks into a run, sliding into the ring through the doorway and immediately going after Lurrr! He’s swinging away wildly as the crowd roars, with the brawl starting in earnest! Head Referee Bell motions towards the doorway, getting it closed, as the fight continues!*

*The Bell Rings.*

Jones: And here we go! We’re wasting no time, as Draco badly wanted to get his hands on his major rival!!

Logan: Last week, Lurrr did some major damage by sending Draco through a backstage mirror. Tonight, that incident could look like a trip to the candy store, because it’s time for some Hell!!

*Draco’s quickly in control, using the World Heavyweight Title still in his grasp to smash Lurrr in the ribs, doing some damage! Draco tosses the title away, with Head Referee Bell retrieving it to get it out of harm’s way. Draco doesn’t notice, as he clotheslines Lurrr, sending him over the ropes and to the outside, next to the cell wall! Draco follows, fury mounting within him as he continues his assault. He drags Lurrr’s face across the cage wall, using it like a cheese grater!! Lurrr yells out, feeling the agony of his face getting scraped off!! Draco follows that up by banging Lurrr’s face into the steel, sending him reeling to the ground. Already, blood is starting to flow from a cut above Lurrr’s eye. Draco focuses on that, punching away to widen it up, as the crowd cheers in savage enjoyment!*

Jones: Only a few minutes in, and we’ve already got blood flowing!

Logan: It’s Hell, Jonesy, I told you!! Expect a lot worse before this one’s over!!

*Lurrr moves away from Draco, trying to wipe the blood from his eyes. The World Champion is right behind him, though, grabbing Lurrr by the back of his head and sending him towards the cage wall, no, Lurrr reverses it and Draco goes in instead! Draco takes the hit and rebounds, shaking from the shot. Lurrr then charges him, sacrificing his body with a tackle that puts the World Champ right back into the cage wall!! Draco slumps over, shaking his head, while Lurrr moves away, grabbing hold of the steel steps next to the ring and lifting them up. The #1 Contender appears to be cursing under his breath as he lifts up the stairs, positioning them on his shoulder. He comes forward, heaving the steps, with Draco barely dropping out of the way in time!! The steps crash into the wall of the cage instead, partially tearing it from the impact! Lurrr doesn’t waste time looking at it, though, as he goes back after Draco, who is moving away from him.*

Jones: If Lurrr had landed that shot, our World Champion might be a few feet shorter now!

Logan: It’s clear that Lurrr means business. After winning the Righteous Rumble, the man has to know that this could be his last chance to regain the GCWA World Heavyweight Title. Will this be the night that Lurrr retakes his throne?

*Draco rolls back into the ring, pulling himself up, with Lurrr immediately following him. This proves to be a mistake, as Draco turns and grabs Lurrr on his way up, taking him into the ropes and springing over with a flipping DDT, smashing Lurrr into the mat! Head Referee Bell moves in for the count, but Draco doesn’t seem interested in a cover this early, instead getting himself up and grabbing Lurrr’s leg, dropping an elbow on it, then applying a leg submission hold, working it over! Lurrr, in pain, reaches back, grabbing at Draco’s hair and trying to get a grip. Draco pulls away, intent on trying to twist off his rival’s ankle, but Lurrr then uses his other foot to kick back, freeing himself. The two men get up, with Draco coming in again, only to have Lurrr land an uppercut that sends him back into the ropes. Lurrr then charges in at him, going for a clothesline, but Draco instead drops his shoulder, flipping Lurrr out of the ring and into the cage wall back-first!! Lurrr falls straight back down to the ground, out of sight, as the place explodes!!*

Jones: Jesus!!

Logan: That was an incredibly hard fall that the #1 Contender just took! Can he possibly come back from that, after the health concerns he’s had this week??

Jones: I know I couldn’t!

Logan: Yeah, but you’d quit after a paper cut, man.

Jones: Hey, those paper cuts hurt like blazes, dangit!

*With Lurrr still out of sight, Draco turns and rolls out of the ring, heading out after him. It appears that Lurrr, due to the pain, crawled under the ring for a breather. Draco figures it out after the nearby fans yell to him, telling him where Lurrr went. Draco follows, pulling up the apron curtain… and takes a blast of cold to the face from a fire extinguisher!! Draco stumbles away, wiping at the frost now in his eyes, as Lurrr rolls out from underneath. The #1 Contender looks like he’s having trouble standing, but he’s not letting it stop him, as he lifts up the extinguisher and cracks it over Draco’s head, dropping the World Champion to the ground!! Lurrr falls against the apron, using it to stay on his feet, the blood still pouring from the wound on his head. He’s starting to get a “Crimson Mask”. However, he’s not alone, as the last blow apparently opened up Draco’s stitches, causing him to bleed as well! Lurrr moves in, ripping the rest of the bandage off to make it worse, with Draco struggling to defend himself!*

Jones: This is getting extremely violent, as both men are now losing blood!

Logan: What did you expect from this one, Jonesy? Arm wrestling and tea parties?

Jones: I know, I know, it’s Hell, I know!

Logan: Damn straight it’s Hell!! This match isn’t for the weak-hearted, so if you don’t like violence, turn off your television now!

*Head Referee Bell is watching from the ‘relative’ safety of the ring, watching as Lurrr has gotten his arm wrapped around Draco, choking him! There’s nothing that Bell can do but wait for a chance to count a pinfall, as choking is perfectly legal in this one. Draco fights to get free, gasping, as his foe tries to take all the oxygen from him. But Draco’s able to get himself up, driving them back into the cage wall! Lurrr shudders from the hit, with Draco thrusting them back one more time to get himself free! Draco then turns and snaps off a perfect spinning kick, bouncing Lurrr’s head off the steel and knocking him down!! The World Champion takes a moment to breathe, then leans under the ring, searching for a second. As Lurrr starts to get back up, blinking heavily to show his fatigue, he’s met by a returning Draco, who swings a steel chair that cracks across Lurrr’s skull!!! Lurrr plummets backwards, with Draco standing over him, still holding the weapon in hand!!*

Logan: We’re going to need someone on standby after this one, I can tell! Lurrr might have a few new cracks in his belfry!!

Jones: How can anyone survive that kind of punishment and still be in there fighting??

Logan: To be a wrestler, you just have to be made of sterner stuff, Jonesy, as these guys are once again proving!

*Since Lurrr’s not quite able to get up on his own, Draco tosses the chair back into the ring, then reaches down and pulls him up. He rolls Lurrr in and follows, with Head Referee Bell once again expecting a pinfall, and once again ending up disappointed. The World Champion just isn’t looking for a win just yet. Instead, he knocks Lurrr backwards into the corner, laying him there to bleed. Draco then positions the chair onto Lurrr’s face and moves away towards the other side, heading towards the turnbuckle! The crowd is cheering even as Draco begins his ascent, climbing to the top of the post and staying up there. With the blood plastered on his face, Draco almost looks like an avenging angel, snarling towards his hated foe. Lurrr is trying to push the chair away, but without success. He’s too late, anyway, as the World Champion leaps into the air, flying towards him and scoring a Van Terminator!!!! Lurrr slumps in the corner, having taken the dropkick to the chair, as the arena hits a new high in volume!*

Jones: What a move from Draco!! He’s really taking it to Lurrr tonight!

Logan: These two have hated each other for months, Jonesy. But that’s all coming to an end tonight, as Draco is clearly looking to do as much damage as possible!

Jones: Amazingly, the World Title is almost secondary to both men. It’s all about inflicting punishment!

*It takes Draco a minute to get up, but he’s soon on his feet, moving over towards where Lurrr is slumped over. Draco’s still not thinking about a cover, as he grabs Lurrr and pulls him up, throwing him back out of the ring! Draco follows, where Lurrr is on the floor, desperately clawing at the cell wall to get up. Draco doesn’t give him the opportunity, whipping Lurrr hard to the side and sending him through the cage door!!! Draco heads after him, leaving the cage, despite Head Referee Bell’s pleas for the two men to come back inside! The fans are loving it, even though it puts them in greatest danger.*

Jones: We really need better locks on these doors.

Logan: Oh, whatever, you know that Ace loves it when these fights go outside the cell!

Jones: You don’t mean to say that the President would ever knowingly put fans of his events in danger, would you? I mean, that could lead to lawsuits.

Logan: Oh… no, no, Ace would never do that. You’re right, we need better locks.

*On the outside, Draco goes and gets himself another chair, planning to dent it across his hated rival. Lurrr, though, is already looking for a way to escape, starting his climb up the cage!! Draco moves around the cage towards him, bringing up the chair and taking a swing, but Lurrr’s gotten just high enough up to avoid it. As the #1 Contender climbs, Draco angrily tosses the chair upwards, sending it over Lurrr and onto the cage roof! Draco then turns and follows, climbing after the man!! The fans are going nuts as Lurrr gets to the top first, pulling himself painfully up onto the roof. He turns, waiting as Draco climbs up, showing his agility by coming up faster. But as soon as Draco’s hands get close, Lurrr starts stomping away, trying to knock the World Champion off!! Draco is suddenly dangling by one hand, trying to recover, as the fans in the arena gasp!*

Jones: Oh no!!!

Logan: That’ll be a huge drop if Draco can’t hang on! This could be the turning point!!

*Lurrr aims for Draco’s other hand, trying to dislodge it, but Draco manages to get a foothold to balance himself. He reaches up, grabbing Lurrr’s leg and throwing him off-balance! Lurrr desperately throws his weight backwards, managing to avoid falling by dropping back onto the rickety cage roof! This gives the World Champion his opportunity to pull himself up, and now the two men are both on the roof, fighting it out! They exchange lefts and rights, each staggering the other, showing that they’re both starting to get drained. Draco gets in a good shot that moves Lurrr backwards, but Lurrr then turns and kicks out, going for the Wake Up Call!! Draco barely avoids it, almost by stepping off into the air, and then has to roll to his right to stay on the roof! Lurrr, having gone down from the force of the attempted kick, gets back up, coming over towards the champion. He grabs for Draco, but Draco meets him with the steel chair, slamming it into Lurrr’s gut!! Lurrr arches over in agony, then staggers away, holding his midsection. But Draco’s not through, dropping the chair and leaping over Lurrr with a version of the Light’s Out!!! He lands it perfectly… and the roof gives way, sending BOTH men down to the ring below!!!!*

Crowd: Holy Shit!! Holy Shit!! Holy Shit!!

*The announcers themselves are both speechless for a few moments, as Head Referee Bell is also down, having been hit by part of the hanging roof. The fans are buzzing like never before after that maneuver, watching for any movement on the part of the wrestlers.*

Jones: That’s it, they’re dead!

Logan: What a fall!! That roof just crumpled like tissue paper after those two impacted it!!

Jones: It looks like Bell’s ok, having just caught a piece of it, but damn! Will either man be able to continue??

*The fans are watching closely as Head Referee Bell hauls himself up. He’s bleeding now, too, from a cut on the side of his face, but he’s been through fights like this before. He’s not going to let it stop him from doing his job, although he’s clearly not feeling great. In the center of the ring, there’s a depression, where the two wrestlers are currently laying. Draco slowly pulls himself up first, trying to stand, his face covered in blood. Lurrr’s still down, not moving, having taken the worst of the impact. The fans are chanting like crazy:*


Jones: That’s definitely got to be in top 5 of spectacular moments for the GCWA, Anthony!

Logan: And remarkably, we’re not done yet, as the World Champion is still moving!!

*Draco leans on the ropes, hurting badly, yet with a grim smile on his face as he looks down at Lurrr. Head Referee Bell has been handed a rag from one of the attendants at ringside, and is using it to try and stop his own blood loss. He waits for Draco to go to for the cover, but the World Champion appears to have other ideas. He slowly limps over to Lurrr, who is apparently unconscious, and turns him painfully over… then applies the When All Else Fails submission hold!!! Draco keeps the hold applied, as a shocked Bell moves in, stumbling over to them. He looks at Lurrr, who isn’t even struggling against the hold, and immediately waves his hands, making a judgment call to not even check Lurrr’s arms. Instead, he’s signaling for the bell to be rung!*

Minos: Here is your winner, and STILL GCWA Heavyweight Champion of the World, Draco!!

Jones: Draco retains after one of the most devastating endings to a match in recent history!

Logan: Yeah, Draco wins, now will someone explain it to him, please??

Jones: Huh?

*Inside the cage, Head Referee Bell appears to want to raise Draco’s hand in victory. There’s only one problem: Draco’s refusing to release the hold! Bell argues and pleads with him to let go, with Draco continuing to apply When All Else Fails!*

Logan: Ok, you’ve won already, man, release! Let the rage go!

Jones: Uh oh, here comes security!!

*With Reed M. Shin leading the way, security pours into the cage, going over and physically prying Draco off of the former #1 Contender. Lurrr’s still down, having already taken enough punishment from the fall into the ring to really subdue him. Shin hangs onto Draco, dragging him away, but Draco then fights free, spinning and launching off the Momentum Shift!! Shin ducks it, but the security guard behind him isn’t so lucky, toppling to the ground!! Draco then turns and rolls out of the ring and out the door, leaving the security guards behind to check on their own!*

Jones: What a way to end things! What a wild night of wrestling action!!

Logan: Draco continues to stay on top, being our flag bearer as we head into 2010! It’s been great being with you all this year, and we’ll see you all in a few weeks! Enjoy the holidays, and Merry Christmas!!

*Medics are in the ring now, checking on the veteran Lurrr, as well as the downed security guard. The cameras focus on Draco, who is walking up the aisle, the World Heavyweight Title in hand. He turns at the stage and looks back with a self-satisfied smirk, raising up the championship above his head for the fans to cheer. This is the final shot, as we fade to black, ending our night.*

And that does it!! The Streak of 2009 is complete!! Fifty shows, and I didn't fall on my face! Well, not too badly, anyway *lol*...

Hopefully, you guys enjoyed this show, and are in pretty good spirits going into Christmas time. If you celebrate Christmas, I wish you a merry one. If you do not, then I wish you happiness in whatever you do.

As for the GCWA, some seem to think that the run is over after tonight... well, you're WRONG! The GCWA isn't done, it's just going to be taking a few weeks off! After all, the next few Fridays are holidays (12/25 and 1/01), so I'm definitely planning to enjoy some time off and recharge my batteries with the holidays. As of right now, I'm planning to have the GCWA return to action in January, most likely having our return show on January 15th. I'll keep in touch with e-mails, and let you know when we're going to officially return and get the 2010 Warriors Of The Ring Tournament on its way!

Remember, just because there aren't going to be any shows for the next few weeks, this doesn't mean that you have to leave the OOC board alone. Feel free to keep the chatting going, and keep yourself in the loop, as we will be returning for another run in 2010! For how long? Hell, I didn't expect us to last this long, so I'm just going to enjoy the ride, and so should you!

Happy holidays, and we'll see you next year!